IANA parent so I’m careful to keep my opinions to myself in these kinds of topics. But I’m not above just asking a question now and again.
OTOH, my SIL was death on sugar for her kids. No juice, no soda, no cookies. Zee-roh. Gave Grandma (her Mom) hell every time she cheated on the rules.
The kids are in their late 20s now. Both slender, good cooks, and adventurous albeit scarily healthy eaters. They have no interest in junky foods. None.
So there is a difference in results between totally indulging the little blighters and being a true parent executing an thoughtful agenda in their best interests.
Last October, my husband was diagnosed with a basal cell skin cancer. He had no insurance at the time and was contracting to an employer who showed every indication of hiring him soon. He put off getting the surgery until (a) he had insurance, and (b) wasn’t being judged on good attendance, etc. for the hiring.
He was hired, but he dragged his feet on going in and getting the surgery because he was scared. I put my foot down and insisted on his doing so, and he grudgingly did. The doctor scolded him for delaying, too.
If he’s had one he’ll have more. One hopes he learned that sooner is better and getting them removed is no big deal. But ignoring them may (not will) turn into a bigger deal.
“Put my foot down?”
yep but I came to it with a spread sheet.
My husband was driving, every other weekend, to see his son from a previous marriage.
Between working 50-60 hr/wk and the obligation to see his son we decided (with reference to the spread sheet) : 5-7 days a month and hundred of driving miles were too much.
Moving put us 2 years behind financially (house sale/buying) and job-wise but I can’t imagine our marriage otherwise.
His ex (on long term disability for mental illness) immediately said she was moving to the town we’d just left.
We’d seen that coming and discounted her ability to do so. A decade later, we were right.
…
I was surprised when he returned from the Harley Davidson dealership with a rafter rattling monstrosity. Shoulda seen that coming to…don’t mind though…after adjusting to the noise.
My rule, no reptiles kept on the premises. I haven’t been tried on that one yet over the past decade, but I have stated they will meet certain death if he tries it–by garden hoe, by gunshot, by chemicals, whatever it takes–and I mean it when I say they will meet certain death. He threatened to chainsaw my desk in half several months ago if I didn’t clean it up–I didn’t and he didn’t. I told him he didn’t know how to start the chainsaw, guess I was right.
We both gripe a fair amount about the other, but in the end it’s give and take and tolerance. I don’t want him to conform to my ideals, and I don’t want to conform to his.
I think the only time I ever saw one of my parents do this was when my dad wouldn’t go to the hospital when he had pneumonia. He just kept insisting it was a bad cold. Then when he finally went to the local clinic, they sent him to the ER, where he refused to be admitted, and signed out AMA. The next day, he was so sick he could barely even get off the couch, and he was still refusing to go to the hospital. Finally my mother told him he didn’t have a choice. We had to call an ambulance because he was too weak to stand up, and we weren’t strong enough to support him to the car. They had to bring in a stretcher, and he ended up in the ICU. He lost something like 30 lbs.
I think in that case, an ultimatum was the correct choice.
He’s five As it turns out, he was fairly trouble free but was also diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at age 3-and-a-half so, in retrospect, I’m glad we went that route since we had enough parental guilt without adding on that we’d been spanking him for “not listening” or “misbehaving”. Score one for the wife’s “ultimatum” I guess.
As it turns out, he was fairly trouble free but was also diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at age 3-and-a-half so, in retrospect, I’m glad we went that route since we had enough parental guilt without adding on that we’d been spanking him for “not listening” or “misbehaving”. Score one for the wife’s “ultimatum” I guess.