As (most) of above, I never said “we’re pregnant”, and to any of our colleagues who tried that line, I said “no, mrs woolly is pregnant”. Must be the biologist in me.
Went to all the classes, and as many check-ups & scans as work permitted (which was most of them). All three were c-sections, #2 & 3 were scheduled, without any labour induction. Ergo for lambs 2 & 3 you could argue I as involved in their birth than mrs woolly and I got to do all the post-natal stuff plus a good half hour of bonding in while she was still skivin’ off in post-op.
Yes I said we’re pregnant more than once.
I took my wife to each and every appointment.
Yes we did all the classes together. I must admit my wife was ready to kill me a time or two, like when the teacher told us to bring a paint roller, and I asked if I could bring a sprayer instead.
When my son was born it was not usual for a father to be in the OR in case of a c-section. About the 8th month I asked her OB about this and he kind of hemmed and hawed. So I said “If I promise not to be an asshole can I be there?” He response was Sure! As it turned out Mrs. Rick had to have an emergency c-section for fetal distress. The OB being a man of his word allowed me in the OR for all except the first cut. The son of Rick was born healthy and has grown up into a great man.
[slight hijack]Our son was born before car seats were common. During the pregnancy I went and special ordered a rear facing car seat for our child. When it came time to leave the hospital the nurse that wheeled my wife out was shocked that we were not going to hold the baby for the trip home. I explained to her that if a drunk blew a light I did not want to be back in the neo-natal ICU. Five years later my wife was pregnant with the daughter of Rick. At the maternity tea, the head of nursing told us in no uncertain terms that we would have a car seat or the child would not be released. Things change that’s for sure [/sh]
I can’t imagine 3 days on magnesium sulfaterackensack! I had about 30 hours and that was plenty. I agree that was a miserable experience. So was being denied food the whole time I was on it. And the hot flashes - not looking forward to menopause.
Parallax was pretty aware that it was only my body on the rollercoaster ride but we are in this parenting thing together and he’s been great with putting up with my morning sickness and sleeplessness and general pregnancy misery. He also stayed in the hospital with me for the whole week with our daughter and as much as possible with our son. My MIL went above and beyond when our planned Csection for the boy went from Oct 28 to Oct 1 with no notice at all. She left work so she could take the girl and Parallax could be there for the delivery.
Because both kids were CSections, Parallax was the first to hold them and he made all the ‘baby’s arrived’ calls while I shivered in recovery from anesthesia withdrawl. My OB, ever the comedian, also gave him the quick tour of my anatomy as he sewed everything back together :eek: as I’m laying there thinking just sew me up already!
Pregnancy really is such a small part of the whole having kids experience. It is the next 50 years that turn your hair grey
I went to Lamaze classes and went to the ultrasounds. I was right there helping her when both my boys were born (natural). I didn’t catch the baby or cut the cord. I did hold them as soon as they cleaned and checked 'em out.
My first boy wasn’t crying much, so they made me beat him with a rubber hammer to make him cry and cough up the froth. To me, that was antithetical to my welcoming him to the world…
My second boy was born 30 minutes after arriving at the hospital. I was about to go to the car to get our stuff, when the nurse said “you’d better not go anywhere” then bloop! There he was!
I don’t recall Kal ever saying WE were pregnant. We’ve kept this one quiet due to all of our previous losses and problems.
As this pregnancy was classed as high risk from day one, we have had tons of appointments - weekly for the first 3 months, and now bi-weekly. Kal has attended every appointment - apart from physio ones which are not very exciting, just painful.
I just went on maternity leave a week ago and have about 6 weeks left before I pop. We’ve not signed up for any mommy-n-daddy classes for 2 reasons 1)I’ve been working 40-45 hours per week since coming off bedrest so too bloody knackered to do anything but sleep, eat and work and 2) with only 6 weeks left we wouldn’t be able to complete all of them before it was time.
Hubby has joked that he’ll be in the pub whilst I’m pushin’, but I think he’ll be there. I would really like him to be seeing as I’ve no family over here, and no friends to come with me when the time comes. ::shrug:: We’ll see soon enough, eh?
[slight hijack] My dad caught me when I was born. My mom kept hollerin’ for the doctor that I was coming, but the nurses just came in, patted her hand and told her that as this was her first kid, it would be a while yet. My dad saw my head coming out, ran into the hall shouting the doctors and surprisingly no one came. He ran back inside just in time to catch me flying out. When the nurses heard me cry, they came running in fast enough. They sorted me and my mom out. Dad picked me up and loaded my mom in a wheelchair, took us out to the car. Everyone was shouting at him to stop and that he couldn’t just leave with us. He was so POd that no one was there to do the job properly, he told them to F Off, threw a couple grand in cash at them and drove us home. So much for hospital professionalism. [/sh]
My BIL was born on Kiribati, a very small island in the Pacific. His mum & dad showed up at the hospital, but it was closed for the night and no doctors were answering the phone (there may have been two on the whole island). A janitor pushed Matt’s mum around in a wheelchair looking for some help, but the hospital was empty. When he realized she was going to have the baby, he scarpered.
When Matt came out, his dad caught him and held him until a doc showed up and cut the cord. I think it was about 1/2 hour.
A woman who can give birth alone or with just her husband is a true badass in my book.
When I was in labor with my first daughter, he took me to the hospital (3 am Saturday) and stayed until morning. After that, he did visit but slept each night at home and went to work Monday morning. Our first little Furthur was born at 8:15 Monday night, and he was at the hospital but not in the delivery room, by our mutual wish.
When I was in labor with Daughter #2, he took me to the hospital and stayed with me for a while before going home to shuttle first Daughter between baby-sitters. He returned in the early afternoon, and Furthur 2 was born around 5. He got me settled and went home to sleep that and subsequent nights.
All in all, I wasn’t tremendously bothered, except when I was in labor. I never had any ideas that both of us were doing this thing; consequently, neither of us even imagined him coming to a prenatal appointment or anything.
The only major negative was his behavior in the delivery room. He just couldn’t handle it and wasn’t supportive or helpful. But still, I figure some people are good at that, and some aren’t. He’s not.
During my wife’s first pregnancy, I went to the first several appointments, then a work thing came up and I missed one. They discovered at that missed appointment that she had miscarried. Felt pretty bad that I wasn’t there, and never missed another appointment in the pregnancies thereafter. Even slept on uncomfortable hospital chairs when she had to stay over night several times. Caught both boys and cut the cords. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Da missus and I have two progeny…the boy is now away at university and the esoteric-and-much-pierced-girl will be out of the house in 18 months.
When da missus was preggers with the boy we didn’t say “we’re pregnant” or any of that cutesy stuff. I went to all her appointments with the OB guy and his nurse practitioner. We went to the birthing classes…learned all the back rubs and relaxation techniques. (We are both RNs.) When da missus went into labor and we went to hospital, after she settled into the bed and started breathing and moaning, I reached over to rub her back. She stopped, turned her head toward me, said, “If you touch me one more time I will take this pillow and shove it up your ass”, turned her head away fro me and started breathing and moaning again. I slinked back to the chair in the corner to read and wait for junior.
Interestingly, when she was preggers with the esoteric one, she KNEW she was having a girl…she felt waaay different than when she was carrying the boy. That second time around I knew not to touch her when she went into labor.
Da missus went into labor with both progeny after a change in the weather…sunny weather for a week followed by thunderstorms…when those storms hit, the babies came. Barometric pressure changes maybe?
He never said “we’re pregnant” that I recall, which was just fine with me. He was suitably thrilled.
Pregnancy #1: went to all the appts. that occurred, which was a good thing, since we found at a routine checkup that things were going very badly indeed. So it was a good thing that we were together to go to the perinatologist and absorb the news that I would not be pregnant for much longer. He was with me every minute he could for every medical thing that happened from then on, which was a lot.
Pregnancy #2: went to all the appointments, except for the amniocentesis, which happened at very short notice–too short for him to take the bus from work or be picked up. Went to birth class, and was in the hospital and helping me out during all labor except to go get a sandwich. He was great. I was in labor for a very long time, and eventually had a c-section, which he was also present for–I think even the prep, but I was too exhausted by then to remember much.
Once DangerGirl was born, he was reluctant to leave my side to see her, since he felt that we ought to see her together. I told him to just go look. She needed some help, so it was his only chance for awhile–and the only peek I got was as they whisked her over my head on the way to the help. He slept at the hospital with me.
Pregnancy #3: I was far more confident, and he was under a lot of pressure at work, so he didn’t go to many appointments. He even missed the ultrasound because I remembered the time wrong, and was late, so I couldn’t go pick him up from work! (Sad for him, and all my fault.) I went and showed him the pictures right afterwards, though. We didn’t bother with a birth class, as I was scheduled for another c-section. He was there for the whole thing again–much easier this time. Since we had a daughter to care for at home, he could not sleep at the hospital with me, but he did spend a lot of time there and brought Stargate DVDs for us to watch together.
I missed one or two, but I made it a point to go (even if I just waited in the waiting room).
No, “we” weren’t pregnant - she was.
My ex-wife’s blood pressure skyrocketed the last few days of her pregnancy and we ended up going in for an induced labor about a week before we were prepared for it (“prepared?” yeah, right). A pitocin drip did nothing, breaking her water did nothing (I was thinking we’d have to wait so long that the baby would be ready for 1st grade before it was born). Finally, the dr. said, “Well, we’ve waited long enough - I’ll see you in about 45 minutes and we’ll do a C-section.”
The time between them taking my ex-wife for her prep and the staff coming back to get me to take me to the operating room seemed to stretch out forever (I’m guessing it was about 20 minutes). Then, seeing her draped was a little too much for me - I started bawling like a baby. The nurse calmed me down and in about another 20 minutes we had The Queen of the Universe.
I went home that night and wrote a long letter to Lilly that she can open on her 18th birthday. She is the absolute light of my life.
I’m not married or a parent, but I’d like to point out that I like the fact that these guys aren’t getting smack for not saying “we’re pregnant”. My ex-gf tried to tell me that it was a refusal to take responsibility or something, but it’s not. It’s not only inaccurate, it’s one of those things that crosses the gender line too much for a lot of guys.
I’m not going to be pregnant. I can be expecting a baby, but not pregnant. I’ll say “we’re pregnant” if she promises to say in the future, “we’re having prostate trouble” every time.
I always said, “We’re having a baby”, but I don’t think I ever referred to ‘us’ as pregnant. I did go to almost every dr. appointment, ultrasound etc, and enjoyed every minute of it. It gave me a sense that I was participating in some small way.
Delivery room participation was a given for me…I thought that men not being in the delivery room with their wives was a thing of the past for some reason. I highly recommend it anyway, there’s nothing like being right there when the little one takes their first breath and makes their first sound. It’s amazing and you don’t want to miss it.
MrseNiGma had extreme morning sickness with every child…for exactly 3 months straight, and then it magically disappeared as quickly as it set in. That part was incredibly brutal, and I’m amazed she wanted to go through it as many times as she did.
Nah, but I did used to always say, when people asked me “Are ya’ll gonna have another one” I’d always respond with: “OH NO! I don’t think I could go through another one of those again!” As if I was the one who had to go through all that pain…
What I really ment was; wife at the time, was a super unreasonable bitch when she was pregnant. Understandably so of course…
“We’re pregnant” always struck me as a silly thing to say, given that she was the one who was actually pregnant. I just did the impregnating. I think if I had ever said ‘we’re pregnant’ she would have flown off the handle, given how physically challenging being pregnant was for her each time.
For our first child, I went to every Dr.'s appointment and was there for all of the labor and then in the operating room for the caesarian.
For the second and third children, I missed a few of the routine appointments during the course of the pregnancies, though I was there for the large majority of them. I was in the operating and recovery rooms for both of their (also caesarian) deliveries.
The whole process, from conception to delivery to parenthood (the last of which is ongoing), was a truly special time of life and not something I would have missed for anything.
Be there for it all and be amazingly supportive and positive about everything. But you don’t have to say ‘we’re pregnant’ if it doesn’t feel right to you.
