I was wondering, when your wives were pregnant, did you take a role in the way of going to the doctor’s appointment, being in the delivery room, etc. Did you ever say, “we are pregnant”?
I had a friend who went with his wife to every appointment, and saw them as both pregnant and not just her responsibility. And I was just wondering if that was a normal response.
I never said “We are pregnant”. We weren’t, you know. Only she was. Well, OK, maybe I said it once or twice to rationalize eating too much, but that was in jest. Kind of.
I went to “milestone” Dr’s appointments with my wife, especially the ultrasound appointments. It was important to her that I be there for support so when she asked, I went. We did the Lamaze classes together for the first child. We both skipped out on subsequent pregnancies. W didn’t figure breathing would change that much. I was in the delivery room each time. I wouldn’t have missed that for anything. There’s just no explaining the joy of seeing your child born. Don’t miss it - period.
It took both of you to make the baby and it will take both of you to raise it. Why shouldn’t you be involved in the “incubation” stage as well?
I think I might have phrased it that way once or twice. I didn’t make it to every appointment but I was there for lamaze classes and the whole labor and delivery. Yeah, I think I thought of it more as a “we” thing than just “she”. I gained weight and everything.
When my wife was pregnant, we weren’t married at the time, so there were some instances where I couldn’t be involved. I began going to the later appointments, especially the ultrasounds, just to see the baby. She explained our “situation” to the doctor (she was still married, but well into the divorce proceedings), and was given very little hassle. Her last name and the baby-to-be’s last name were different than mine, obviously, but that only caused minor, brief confusion.
We went to Lamaze together, and our breathing song was “That song from Ordinary People”.
I was in the birthing suite before they gave her the epidural. Take my advice: If you can, wait until she is fully drugged up before you go in. If you go in too early, before she is high, you will be blamed for EVERYTHING from her excruciating pain to the miserable wallpaper. They eventually performed a c-section, but I was in the OR during that. I didn’t see much, but I can still hear the “sound” of him “being born”.
I don’t remember if I ever said “We are pregnant,” but I did save the positive EPT test.
Actually, I would have to be there…I’m female. I guess I am just trying to regain some faith in the male population.
These are so sweet. Keep em coming. (the positive EPt thing brought tears to my eyes)
I’m sure it’s normal for fathers to be that attentive during the whole pregnancy.
I’m proud to say that I even caught the little guy on his way out! I got to see his face and hold him before even his mother did.
I’m cheating to answer this question since I’m a woman, but I’m telling you what my husband did.
My husband never said “We’re pregnant,” but he did tell all and sundry “Carlotta’s pregnant!” with verve, enthusiasm and excitement. He did say “I’m gonna be a Dad!”
First pregnancy: he attended every prenatal appointment (maybe missed one or possibly two). Attended childbirth class that cost $75. Present for all of natural childbirth.
Second pregnancy: he attended most prenatal appointments. Attended childbirth class that cost $125. Present for all of natural childbirth
Third pregnancy: attended fewer of the prenatal appointments. Attended childbirth class that cost $275. Present for all of natural childbirth.
I include the prices of the childbirth classes because stereotypically men tend to worry about how much this kid thing is costing and I am very grateful to him for not making a fuss about me upping the ante each time. Each birth was easier which may or may not have anything to do with the price of the classes.
I highly recommend dads attending all prenatal appointments. A) it kept him more involved. B) it gave me someone to talk to while alone in the exam room waiting for the medical professional to get around to me, and C) it came in really handy once when I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance straight from the doctor’s office even though I had no idea anything was wrong when I went for a routine appointment.
Congratulations! (I think, it sounds like you are expecting?)
I don’t think I ever said ‘We’re pregnant’ though I do say ‘we’re having a baby’ and such things.
I attended several appointments but not all of them. I was there for the entire labor and delivery process. Though this exchange did occur:
Doc “It’s going to happen any minute now, Mr Chance. Do you want to catch the baby?”
Me: “Who’s the highly paid professional? YOU catch the baby.”
No foolin’.
And, I might point out…I’m going through all this again right now. July is the due date.
I went to every doctor’s appointment for both kids and was there for as much of both deliveries as they would allow. The only parts I missed was the prep for the c-sections because they don’t allow anyone in for that.
I didn’t say “we” every time but I used it pretty often. 
I can’t remember MrSnoopy ever saying “we’re pregnant” – it was always “SnoopyFan is pregnant.” He was quite happy about it, though, even though the pregnancy was totally unplanned.
He went to quite a few of the appointments, not every one due to work schedules and stuff. I imagine he went to all but 2 or 3; and was in the room when LilSnoopy was born. (He cried when he saw her, in a manly way.)
Do you want to catch the baby?!? Thank God they didn’t ask Erik, I would have stood up int he stirrups and objected!
I was just snooping in here, being a girlie, but my hubby came to the ultrasound appts and the Lamaze class. I regretted making him go, because my breathing quit working early on. My anesthesiologist became my significant other for both births!
We had a party in the birthing suite- me of course, my husband, my mom and his mom for the first one, all of the above plus my sister-in-law, and two friends for the second! The two friends worked for the hospital, so everyone thought they were there for some medical reason, otherwise it never would have been allowed.
With my 5(one set of twins) I went to a few of the prenatal visits. I was present at all the births. The twins were C-section and I was not allowed in for the pre-op stuff. I got to pick which twin got which name and I think I did a great job. Deadeyesmom never gave me any grief during labor. A few times she almost broke my hand.
I went to most classes. I couldn’t be in the birth room because it wasn’t a private room so I paced the hallways outside. I never said I’m pregnant, but did proudly say we’re going to have a baby.
I am not expecting. I was just wondering about this thing called parenthood. I had a parenting class in college as part of my major but there we just studied theories and got an entire sememster long case study on the prof’s son which was very funny.
I guess I am just wondering about the pragmatics of it all.
Airman was quite thrilled that I was pregnant. Due to reasons of geography, he couldn’t be there for appointments or the ultrasounds, but I tried to keep him as involved as possible. I have recordings of the baby’s heartbeat and a videotape of the second ultrasound.
He was able to make it for the delivery. All of it, except for a brief period the night before I was induced. He made sure I breathed and made sure I was focusing on everything but the pain. He’s a terrific father. 
Robin
It is, without a doubt, one of the sweetest things I’ve ever encountered.
All in all I’ve led a pretty good life…but having a little girl is one of the better things.
I either said “she’s pregnant” or “we’re having a baby.” We went to a couple pregnancy/childbirth classes together–they weren’t Lamaze classes, but something sort of similar that the hospital cobbled together. I accompanied my wife on all her pregnancy-related doctor’s appointments. I didn’t really get too involved in the incredibly expensive shopping trips, though my wallet was often there without me . . . I was there for the hours and hours and hours of labor and participated in the delivery. All in all, it was a very cool (though nerve-wracking) six months or so. I guess I participated quite a bit.
I now have a beautiful almost-two-year-old daughter. I’m not sure, but I think I might like to have another . . .
Oh, I was there for it all…
All the appointments, the classes, and the birth experience. Now THAT was one of the most scarring days of my life 
(It was a problem pregnancy from early on. My two were born 10 weeks early at 3 lbs and 1 lb 11 ounces).
The stresses involved both tore our marriage apart, and bonded us so closely that we still talk on the phone every day, are each other’s best friend, and watch each other’s back. And raise our children together, even though we are apart.
Oh yeah, I was there.
They have cost me more than I can ever pay, and brought me more than I could ever have imagined. They make my days and define my life. They both underline my loneliness and bring me joy beyond measure.
I was there.
I was there for it all.
Sigh.
If I’d ever have said “We’re pregnant”, Pepper Mill would’ve laughed until she passed out. And that would not have been a good thing.
I never said “we’re pregnant”, because it was obvious that however much I participated in things, it was still my wife who was the one carrying a baby around inside. For our first, I was there for as many of the doctor’s appointments and ultrasounds, etc., as possible – my wife has a fairly unique anatomy, and the doctors weren’t certain she could carry a pregnancy to term, so she was treated as very high risk all along. She endured months of Braxton-Hicks contractions, which were only definitively considered Braxton-Hicks after the fact – at the time, the doctors treated her as if she were in fact having pre-term labor. I was there for most of the non-stress tests. I was there for the three days she was in the hospital on a maxed-out IV drip of magnesium sulfate (far worse, in my wife’s mind, than anything else she endured in her three pregnancies, including any of the three c-sections). I was there for the steroid injections to ensure that my son’s lungs were as fully developed as possible as early as possible in the event they did have to deliver early. I was there for childbirth classes (except for the last one, which was being held while she was being prepped for a c-section). I was there for the breastfeeding classes. I was there for the infant CPR classes. I was there for the appointment where they checked her blood pressure, didn’t like it, and admitted her to the hospital so they could get quicker lab results on some other tests, and when those results came back indicating onset of toxemia. I was still there, in the operating room, the next day when my son was delivered one day short of full term via c-section. I slept in the hospital for the next several nights while my wife recuperated (my son was quite healthy and was ready to leave as soon as my wife was).
The second time around, I’d changed jobs and my wife had changed doctors, so the logistics didn’t work for me to attend as many routine appointments as before. I still went to several of the appointments, but fortunately, there were a lot fewer of them, since she’d established that she could carry a pregnancy to term, so she wasn’t being treated as high-risk. She had contractions again pretty much non-stop from the fourth month on, but this time they didn’t try to stop them. My wife really wanted to try to have a vaginal delivery this time if possible, so the docs allowed her to go on until she went into labor, which didn’t happen until a week past the due date. After several hours in the hospital with intense and frequent (though irregular) contractions, the monitors started showing the baby’s heart rate dropping each time my wife contracted. Things went from “let’s just watch and see what happens” to “get her prepped for an emergency c-section stat!” almost immediately. I still got to be in the OR for my first daughter’s delivery. I went home at night, however, since (a) I’m nearly impossible to wake when sleeping, so I’m less use to have around at night than I might be; (b) my mother-in-law really wanted to stay with my wife, and only one person is allowed in the room overnight; and © we thought it’d be good for my son, who was about 2 and a half, to have one parent at home with him at night.
The third time around, with my two-month-old daughter, I only made it to two prenatal doctor’s appointments. My job currently requires a lot of travel, and it just wasn’t feasible to be there most of the time. For the couple of times when she felt it was important that I be there, she let me know well in advance and I scheduled my work-related travel around it. And again, there were fewer appointments this time, since there weren’t any unexpected complications (contractions for several months again, but nothing else). There was no question of having vaginal delivery this time around, so it was a scheduled c-section, and once again I was there for everything except the prep. Once again, my mother-in-law took the graveyard shift while I made sure our older two, now 6 and 4, had a parent home with them at night.
I considered myself an active participant in the process all three times. While I didn’t physically attend all of the appointments the second and third times around, I did make sure I understood what was going on and what the results of each appointment were, and we discussed any issues that came up (which prenatal tests to do, etc.).
All in all, I think I’m pretty normal for these days. Dads are a lot more involved than when I was born, and even than they were fifteen or twenty years ago. I’m sure there are still guys who regard the pregnancy and everything to do with it as the woman’s responsibility, but I wouldn’t consider it the norm nowadays.