At 38 years of age and almost 2 years of marriage, my husband finally decided to go to truck driving school. He has finally found the career he loves.
The problem? I have a hard time every time he goes away. I’m a teacher (who just got her Masters in Guidance), so, except for school breaks, I can’t go with him on the road. I miss him terribly when he is gone. It’s no fun sleeping alone.
My question is this: if your SO is a truck driver, how do you deal with the loneliness? I’d really appreciate some tips on this. I’m busy with work, but once I come home, I find myself just sitting around in front of the computer or sitting in front of the TV.
I am married to a truck driver. Although he has driven locally for the last 10 years, he spent the first three years of his truck driving career as an OTR (over the road) driver. He went all over the U.S.
You’re right it IS difficult at first. When he first went to work for his company, we had never been apart for more than a night.
Here are some suggestions to help you get through this.
Keep busy! Find a hobby. Go work out at the gym. Take some weekend or overnight trips. Do you have close friends or family nearby? If so, make a point of spending more time with them. Also, do you own a home? If so, with the imminent arrival of spring and summer, you will find that yardwork will take up a lot of your time. You can do some landscaping.
Set up certain days for calls. For instance, way back then (1989) cell phones weren’t really all that much in use by the general population. He would call me every Thursday with his comcheck numbers. He would also try to call on Saturdays. Sometimes he couldn’t get to the phone, but I learned to deal with it.
Also, does the company he works for (I am assuming he’s not an independent) have a passenger program? I went out on the road with him for six weeks during the summer. We got to spend some time together, and I got to see a lot of the United States. You obtain a real understanding of how hard they have it out there.
Eventually, you will find that the lonliness will go away. In fact, I pretty much had certain routines down pat and sometimes found that his arrival at home messed up my routine. I was always happy to see him, but would have to readjust my routine to include him and his needs.
Good luck and I hope your SO remains happy with his job. Finally, all of us here at the Straight Dope have big shoulders if you need one!
My dad’s been a truck driver longer than I’ve been alive, so I know the ups and downs of being married to a man who’s never home. Do you have children? We did a pretty good job keeping my mom busy while my dad was away. Of course, now we’re all grown and gone…
I agree with the suggestions Taters has given you. However, I do have one more but it’s a bit extreme. Have you ever considered getting your own CDL? You could run team with your husband. Then, if that gets boring (or stressful, which it could), you could just run off by yourself for a bit. Leasing a truck or two isn’t really a big deal as long as you wait until your husband has established himself with a company that makes him happy.
Then, later on… Well, you could just start your own company. Or something.
Welcome to the club hun, here is you t-shirt, your membership card and a good book to fill the long nights with.
In all seriousness it is HARD, my hubby is OTR and has been gone as long as 7 1/2 weeks before and seeing how he is sent to Canada ALOT he doesn’t call often enough to make me happy. But you get used to it although its tuff you do find ways of keeping busy. Just enjoy the time you do have with one another.
One thing we have found that helps is the we both write each other a letter each night, some times it is a short note and sometimes it is very long but it always covers what happend that day. It seems to make me feel like we are still sharing our daily lives and when he is gone long periods of time I know I haven’t forgoten to tell him something important. When he gets home we swap notebooks (but we don’t read them untill he is on the road again…we talk when we are together but after he is gone I read what he has wrote me, comment on it and start his next batch of letters on the next blank page…when the notebooks are filled up I store them away (keepsakes ya’ know)
Here are a few things to remember:
first off your gonna get pissed at him for being gone…thats ok its cause you love and miss him and don’t worry once he is home you are so happy to see him you forget you were mad at him
its harder on him that it is you…you are home around your friends and family, he is alone knowing no one living in a truck (but he will probly not admit it…wouldn’t be manly ya’know)
and last but not least do feel guilty when you find your-self thinking “don’t you have a run you can be on now” when he is home and underfoot. Just make sure you think it and not say it :smack:
Thank you so much for responding. I thought I was the only one in this club. It helps to know there are others out there in the same boat (or should that be in the same truck? ;))
I like the notebook idea A LOT. I’m not sure Mr. HotB will go for it, though.
Also, thanks for telling me it’s OK to be pissed at him 'cause he’s gone. Summer is coming and I’ll have to do yard work… that is not endearing him to me right now.
He has told me it’s hard to be away from me. In fact, he begs me not to cry about him leaving in his presence, as that will just make him upset too.
