“I could have some kind of consensual sexual encounter with a man within the hour”
Did you see a Candid Camera show where a pretty lady on the street asked guys to kiss her? Almost
half said no & those that did, kissed her on the cheek. That was in Monterey, California. I know cause
that’s where CC is.
A better question would be:
If you found someone that you were emotionally and physically attracted to, would there be a possibility of you “cheating” in such a situation? I put “cheating” in quotes because one could actually be “in love” with a person in a situation like this and not have sex with them.
Fluffy-I think you might be reading too much into the men’s stated reasons.
I think a lot of men have trouble saying “I love my wife too much to want to cheat” to male co-workers, friends or even family. That doesn’t mean they don’t feel it-it just means that they have trouble saying it. As sunacres pointed out the same guys would reply with different reasons for not cheating to a man and a woman and he wisely said that it was the same answer-just different audiences.
I know that my husband always uses “She’ll kick my ass” as code for something he doesn’t want to do but, for whatever reason, doesn’t wish to explain himself. And that is the feel I get from most of the guys I’ve met.
Dear Fluffy,
Maybe there’s no easy answer to this question, but what really makes a married or unavailable woman cheat? Are there some gals out there who are happily married, content, etc. and found themselves cheating when they never thought in a million years that they would? There are those that say that all women cheat at least once regardless of how happily married they are. I wonder if this is true. Any thoughts on this?
would YOU cheat?
If you are saying “No way no how” to cheating, are you saying that there is no conceivable scenario or situation that would even tempt you to cheat? I realize that being tempted and acting upon it are two different things.
I just find it hard to believe that if A married woman had an attracive man and the opportunity right in front of her that she would not act upon it, especially if she thought she would not get caught! Anybody Agree?
this thread is so assinine on so many levels, I can hardly stand it.
It seems like you are looking for validation for something you already hold true in your heart.
This is such an insult to all men that I am offended for them. I am offended for my brothers, my guy friends, my husband, my nephew, etc.
How dare you paint men with such a broad brush?
Look around you here on this board.
There are some really swell guys here. And if they are here, they are out there in real life, too.
If a guy posted up the a similar post about women and gold digging, it would not be tolerated. Same here.
I am terribly sorry that life has handed you some unhappy moments.
But, Fluffy, if this is the kind of men you are meeting, boy are YOU looking in the wrong places. Can’t expect to find a diamond looking through garbage you know.
I am a bit of a oddball when it comes to relationships with women.
I will start by saying that I’ve never been good at picking up on women’s advances, add to that my general dissociation with women since I got involved with the woman who became my wife puts me in the perfect position to avoid ‘cheating’ situations. I choose not to have women friends and I don’t really talk to women unless there is a specific need to (work related, etc.)
I suppose there is the fantasy situation where Leticia Casta notices me from across the room and is overwhelmed with the urge to take me home and ravish me, but even were I to be put into that position she’d have a difficult time engaging with me and there’s no way I would take action on it. This is not to say that it wouldn’t brighten my day and add some fantastic fuel to future solo masturbation sessions.
I’ve been in a situation where I felt cheated on (in college - a long ugly story) and I would never subject anyone I care about to those feelings I went through. Also I know that I would obsess about the infidelity and it would negatively affect me from that day forward.
So, yes I do lust in my heart, but I’ve never cheated and don’t see it ever happening.
I just find it hard to believe that if A married woman had an attracive man and the opportunity right in front of her that she would not act upon it, especially if she thought she would not get caught!
Sounds like someone’s trying to justify something. I’ve met women who are married and won’t even put themselves in the position to be tempted by anyone. So I don’t think they’d agree. They get a ton of respect from me.
if you are quoting me, ** Anticay **, and are taking me seriously, I think you should reread the whole post.
you see: I exchanged the word woman for man, to show how absurd the OP is.
So if your implication is that *I *am trying to justify something, then I have no idea where you are coming from with this or why.
altogether too weird.
I hate to say it, but in my current relationship I can see me cheating far easier than I can see my guy cheating.
He has that whole Marine, conservative, left his ex-wife because she was unfaithful thing going for him. Fidelity is a pretty serious deal for him and we both know it.
Good guys are out there, I found one and if my lazy, oblivious self can run into the wonder that is Medea’s Guy anyone with the right attitude can. In your shoes I’d watch how you think about men. If you are lumping them all together and kicking the lump, why would any of the shining individuals found in that lump want to give you the time of day? Be a person worthy of a great guy, and know you are. They’ll find you and thank thier lucky stars.
Hard to stomach advice coming from someone who when given the statement; “So according to what you say, a person is no better than the art they produce”, follows it up with “and vice versa”. I don’t know, it registers on my superficiometer. So in that respect, I wouldn’t criticize the OP.
altogether too questionable.
Anticay
one of the general rules of the board is to leave personal problems at home.
You are simply pissed off at me because I found your friendship obsessive and red flag raising.
if you have a problem with me, take it to the pit. or better yet, just deal with it.
for the record, I am not interested in your friendship and if you wouldn’t mind, leave your agendas about me out of the straight dope.
thanks.
I just want to stand up and salute Rocza for totally grokking men in one swell foop. Beautiful.
Thank you Anticay! Well said!
Bad News Baboon- Sorry you think this thread is so assinine. Obviously not so assinine that you could resist putting in your two cents!
You have an awfully strong reaction to this! Why so defensive?
a)in case you haven’t noticed, this board is about irradicating ignorance. your post is chock full of ignorance. hence…I posted.
and
b) to suggest that ALL men will cheat is, at some point or another, basically put: stupid.
saying such, if you bothered to read my post: it offends all the men in my life. and all the men here. and, um, all the men, period.
and that’s just WRONG.
please reread my posts and answer the first one. I reworded YOUR posts substituting the word woman for the word man. would YOU cheat? no? then why would any man cheat…soley because he’s a man?
DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE?
Why is ok to man bash and not ok to Woman Bash?
its not.
Because you can’t flatly say stuff like that out ANY set of people.
I think you’re being a bit oversensitive BNBaboon. Sorry you’re so offended. I apologize to all the men in your life that I have offended as well! If you actually read all of my post on this thread, you would see that I am starting to rethink my position on this issue. Did’nt mean to paint all men with the same brush. Yes, women cheat as well.
I know this. However, I’m a female so I’m posing the question regarding men and cheating. In no way did I mean for this to turn into a man bashing thread. Not my intent at all!
And by the way, I dont think my post was full of ignorance. Just because you take issue with my statements or happen to disagree certainly does not make me ignorant!
Let’s all take 10 deep breaths and calm down before the mods come in here and take the belt to all of us.
As for the OP, I don’t believe most men cheat, but I have been cheated on in the past by boyfriends. If I were to believe that most men cheat, that would mean my dad, my brother, my husband, and every boyfriend I’ve had before (well, I can believe the boyfriends did).
The Mod is here, and he says knock off the personal attacks, both overt AND covert, and stick to the OP, or I will lock this off without a second thought.
How refreshing and stimulating to read about how faithful you guys are! It renews my faith in the human species. Now go on the internet, check out the personal ads and then come back in and give your opinion. I’m a single woman, and yes, I’ve been constantly approached by married men. No, I’m not Christy Brinkley by far. But it’s a fact that men and women do cheat, will cheat, and have cheated. This is not a blanket statement that all will cheat. But there are lots and lots that do. The main reason given to me…I don’t get intimacy or attention at home. And knowing for a fact that I will get bombed for this statement, when you don’t take care of your mate they will look somewhere else after a length of time and there will be someone out there that will give them what they don’t get at home.
I do beleive that there are still good men and women left out there that are faithful. But face facts, there are plenty that aren’t. The whole reason for this thread is for a matter of opinon from men on why men cheat, coming from a female. Not if you cheat or have you cheated. If you haven’t then you probably have male friends that have and they have told you why. It’s not meant as an accusation.
IMHO
I married my husband because he was one of the kindest, thoughtful, most caring people in the world. He’s proven it to me in thoughts and in deeds time after time. He’d sooner break his own arm than break my heart.
I may be Kathie Lee but until and unless someone gives me videotaped evidence to the contrary I’ll go on believing he’s as trustworthy and faithful as I am to him.
Temptation is impossible to avoid. Finding yourself in a room alone with someone whom you are attracted to is very easy to avoid.
Just wanted to say how brilliant this is.
It reminds me of the scene in A Beautiful Mind when John Nash has his breakthrough “original idea”. He points out the girls that will be ignored if he and all his buddies go for the one hot girl.
The one hot girl will receive far more sexual advances in her lifetime, but she is not the norm.
Cheating? Eh. Some men are faithful, some aren’t. Getting married these days is like playing russian roulette as far as I’m concerned.
I do think it’s unfair to assume that most men would cheat if given the chance. I know too many decent, kind, honorable men to believe that. Sure, a person might be tempted, but that does not mean they’ll act on that temptation. I have male friends that I find attractive. Would I cheat on my SO with them? No way, no how. I love him too much and respect myself too much.
It’s easy to get discouraged, especially when you read singles ads or hang out in bars. But keep in mind that most of the good men don’t place singles ads or try to pick up women in bars.