Well, if you actually know anyone like that, send her my way.
Send in a proposal and see if the cops nail you.
Send in a proposal and see if your wife* kills* you.
I signed up my “daughter” hoping there’d be more funny afterwards but they played it straight.
What they (I’m assuming, of course, that there’s one solitary person out there who creates all of the high quality parody sites…what?) need to do is cross-pollinate some of these sites. I would love a cross between this site and the old manbeef.com - between dowry “by the pound” and the option to eat your bride if she didn’t (snerk) pan out for you, it would be a hoot.
Here’s their keywords. “preteen, virgin, sex, teens, marriage, marry, slave, matchmaker, bride, mail-order, underage, young, money, naked, child, kids, daughter, teenage, juvenile, escort, buy”
They’re listing bride price not a dowry. Bride price is paid by the groom, or his family, to the family of the bride. A dowry is paid by the bride’s family to the groom or his family.
Yeah, there’s nothing a girl like that wants more than to be married off to an older fundamentalist Christian.
That’s the one I was going to quote as strong evidence of hoaxifying.
There’s an odd typo in the menu, though, saying “Sign up our daughter” when it should be “Sign up your daughter”.
Also, the extensive rules for proposals, actively discouraging any opportunity for the man to identify himself (even unintentionally), suggests a plan to eventually publish some of the loopier ones with little or no editing required.
I’d use a spare email address if you’re testing it out for fun. Looks like a spam email address collector to me.
I hazard to guess that the poetry would get even darker, post-nuptials…
Buying or selling?
If it were not fake, someone would have done so and reported the result by now. Plus, if it were real, the owners would have come forward to say so by now.
They often do, even for real businesses.
This screams hoax. Especially the form for actually proposing. They’re obviously looking for the cheesiest answers they can find, and as mentioned above, they go to great pains to keep personal information out of it.
It’s a hoax?
Damnit. That first girl was kinda cute.
Hey folks? There’s a key point that everyone’s missing.
No matter what state you’re in, marriage MUST be voluntary. Yes, judges in some states allow children under 18 to marry with their parents’ consent (usually when the underage girl is pregnant), but it would be a massive violation of the kid’s constitutional rights to let parents force an unwilling child into marriage.
No. This is not real.
Can anyone loan me 30,000$ or so?
But the impression given is that the girls are at least resigned to having themselves listed (ugh) on the site. If this is real, there might have been some coercion involved in getting them to agree, but not much more than the coercion they’ve lived with all their lives.
They’re all attractive, in fact.
Which right there tells you it’s a hoax. If it were real there’d be a normal percentage of dog and meh and average okay girls.
Probably have higher prices on the really cute ones.
Even so, most states have an “age floor” below which, even if the kid wants to marry and the parents want her to marry, there must be a finding of just cause before a judge will let them marry. “Just cause” doesn’t mean the judge finds that the state has no reason to object; it means the judge determines that the state has a pressing need to let these kids marry (again, usually pregnancy). These age-floors range from 12 to 17, but are rarely as low as 13, as the site suggests:
And even in a situation where the kid isn’t fighting it and the parents are pushing it, the judge is going to take a pretty tough look at the situation before allowing the marriage, probably including a one-on-one interview with the kid, to make sure she’s capable of understanding what she’s getting into. There’s a strong policy interest in protecting children from this kind of obviously exploitative situation. In almost all family-law court determinations involving children, such as custody/visitation plans, the child’s best interest is the number-one priority.
There was a fairly recent case (I can’t find cites now, as my law books are all packed away) in which a family moved here from a foreign country – Iraq? India? I forget – and tried to marry their daughter off when she was 12 or 13, and the state categorically refused to grant the license. This Web site’s plan would be no different.
The site continues:
Yeah, good luck getting that to hold up in court. Incest, polygamy, and animal sacrifice are also old practices mentioned in the Bible.