AH! Just Imagine The Lucky Girl To Marry Up With THIS Fine Fellow! What Joy!

And what girl wouldn’t be flattered by that offer?


Well, that’s just pickey. :stuck_out_tongue:
This Ultra-Monkey needs a flogging.
The Pit is generously gifted with suitable qualified people.

LET THE DOG-PILE BEGIN! :slight_smile:

Now waaait a second. He’s a pig, but he doesn’t want a pig worshiper?

I’m confused.

He wants a Christian woman, but is infact himself divorced.
Won’t that make him an adulterer?

Well hell, I’m 44, male, not a virgin, and I pray to ham. But for a thousand bucks? I can change! Where do I sign up?

The lower end of the age scale he stipulates is disquieting. Otherwise, I don’t see how what he is doing is much different than placing a personal ad. Frankly, I think the guy is probably (excuse the clinical jargon) just a fucked-up, crazy old man.

Wow, $1000? Virgins are apparently going pretty cheap these days.

He’s not asking for half his bride’s family’s cattle?

I think all the bull is on the Groom’s side of the family.

No, kidding. He was obviously born in the wrong place. If he had gotten it right, people would have paid him to marry their virgin daughter.

I’ll pay $1500!

Anyone else reminded of the SNL(MadTV?) Millionaire parody sketch with Harry Connick, Jr. titled, “Who wants to be groped by an eleven-thousandaire”?


45 is old?


Way to ruin my morning!



Well, all the kids were still in school. shudder

Poor guy. What kind of a world is it when you have to advertise to find a twelve-year-old virgin to marry and then your neighbors criticize you for it? What a wicked, wicked world we live in.

Why, think of the joys of raising your own wife! Young enough to brain-wash, and you have the joys of watching her get her first job, learn to drive a car, and she’ll be the only girl at graduation who has a husband old enough to have watched the moon landing live on TV. When she bears children, you have the start of your very own cult. Who could ask for anything more?

Well shoot! :: counts pocket change ::

Hey, anyone wanna move to Utah with me? I’ve got $234.63 in my checking account right now. . .

We’ll split it–you get Tuesdays & Thursdays.

Wait wait wait…you’re only putting up 23.4% of the fees, but you want her 71.4% of the time? Better hope you get at least two other takers for this arrangement.

Tastelessness warning:

Of course, only one of you is going to get a virgin.

This is brilliant! Just think, in three years all the fun he’s going to have when his wife brings the other high school girls over to frolic in the pool, watch them wash his car in their bikinis and fun girl things like that!

Slumber parties, pillow fights…

I think he’s the beginning of a new trend.

Fred Phelps?

Why would anyone want to marry a virgin? Give me a dirty girl from Las Vegas any day…

It’s really only the age group he’s interested in that bothers me. Isn’t it illegal to try to pay for sex with children? Is there some kind of solicitation charge this creep could be charged with?