Everyone has good advice!
I am actually doing some of the things suggested. I haven’t signed up to TAKE a class yet, but I’ve signed up to TEACH one, which I think will be a great confidence builder and tons of fun.
In fact, one of the things that worries me is that I’m trying to use your terrific “If what you’re doing isn’t working, do something else” theory and it seems like no matter WHAT I do, I don’t feel better. Which is why I think maybe a med-check with the doc is in order.
As for the relationship, I have always thought that being in a comitted, serious relationship was a lot of work. I’m rather lucky in that my partner is generally understanding. He knows that I have a problem with the level of affection in our relationship (he’s just not the holding-hands, snuggling-on-the-sofa type and I need more closeness than he does in that regard).
We play goofy “games” to try to fix it, he believes it’s a shortcoming of HIS and he is willing to do things to make me happy. Which doesn’t mean that it’s not difficult for him to change, but at least he is one of the rare people willing to admit when they are “wrong” or willing to try and change.
We are just going through a rough period, I think, because of the holidays. You know, the annual Christmas fight? About where we’re going and when. He’s not as “family” oriented as I am, so he doesn’t always understand my need to be close to people who aren’t always…well…“normal.” Or even nice for that matter. I got in a big huff over it last night, frustrated and at my wits end with trying to explain it to him. This morning he apologized, told me he knows he’s difficult and he didn’t mean to be. So I don’t think we’re at the breaking point really…it’s just sometimes so HARD.
I’m trying to keep myself busy and keep these things in perspective. This week I’ve been to a book reading by my favorite author of all time, I got up early to watch the meteor shower the other day, I’ve been exercising daily. And the start-up business is quite good because I can do it on SUCH a small scale initially that it’s something with very little necessary investment and I don’t have to quit working while I get started.
As for changing my hairstyle, I do that every time the wind changes directions…I buy a new lipstick every week and I look just fine. I don’t think buying a short skirt is going to cure my depression.
I do plan to try to take in some Absolutely Fabulous tonight though. That usually makes me feel loads better. Maybe that’s the cure I need.
And just in case, I made a psych appointment.
L
