Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like all these good, moral people are just a tad too obsessed with what other people do in private, or which bathroom they use, or other things that are equally questionable to obsess over.
You think they were tattlers at kids??
Almost undoubtedly!
I love this bit.
Oddly enough, sex demons are particularly prone to attach themselves just as you hit puberty.
I sure get horny reading that stuff.
That’s when I got mine!
I believe the preferred term is “hellmouth.” 
Perhaps if she were to use one of the toys they sell at divine-interventions dot com, that would protect her from the demons.
“Lord Satan, some adolescents aren’t succumbing to the lure of our sex demons.”
“Not a problem, I’ll just release a new edition of Dungeons & Dragons.”
So who’s gonna ask him about women masturbating without sex toys?
I think the progression is: Rock 'n Roll –> Drinking –> Dancing –> Masturbation –> Hell.
I have heard that for some young women, their first orgasm can occur in an unexpected way, such as while on a playground swing, riding a horse or getting very clean under the bathtub faucet. The demons are just everywhere.
If only there was some way of plugging up that portal to hell. Something we we could thrust in there, again and again until the demons stop coming…
Wouldn’t that make the demons keep coming?
Depends on how good you are.
I bet his mother had a wonderfully unhealthy attitude toward sex as he was growing up.
Post shortened.
I’ll take ‘Awkward Bathing Positions’ for $100, Alex.
If Mack Major, expert on female masturbatory techniques, doesn’t have his own porn movie, he should.
You have the script to Footloose 2???
She never let him cuddle after.
I bet this guy owns like a million sex toys, any takers?