I have had a really gross sinus infection for five weeks.
I had to go to have a culture done because they thought it was a horrible staph thing that might eat my nose off. It wasn’t but it’s still bad. This is annoying as it makes me tired and crabby and I don’t want to do anythig that requires any effort and I am constantly blowing green gunk out of my nose.
I am also tired of taking really strong antibiotic that gives me diarrhea.
On the plus side, I am at least losing weight. 
Goddamnit, mother, shut up about health insurance! I know I will be uninsured for the next four months. This would be a problem if I had some sort of medical condition - which I don’t. Or if I was the type who ran and saw a doctor at the slightest hint of a sniffle - which I’m not. Or if I was old and decrepit like you - which I’m not. I’m 22, in absolutely perfect health, and am not a catastrophic idiot who will ride my bicycle off a cliff, as you seem to think I am.
If you really want to pay for some shady-ass four-month plan for me? Fine, I don’t give a damn, it’s your money you’re throwing away in exchange for nothing. But once I say that, once I say fine I’ll sign whatever I need to if you pay for it, that’s the end, and I want you to shut up about it!
My rant is for all the lazy ass people that will wait 2 minutes for a parking space when there is an empty one 5 spaces down.
I was at Target and was trying to leave but was blocked in by Mr. Lazy Ass. The spot next to me was open! Are you seriously that lazy that you need to wait for someone to leave their space not that much further away? You could have parked and been in the store instead of waiting for that specific spot.
About a week ago a short old woman with a puff of gray hair on her head, driving a land yacht waited for a parking space. The problem being that the people in the car this old woman was waiting for knew she was waiting for them, so they sat in the car, doors open, enjoying a cigarette.
Little old lady sat contently in her car waiting for them to finish. Meanwhile, two cars are waiting behind her and the lane was too thin to pass. Also, there was someone waiting to back out of his own parking space but was blocked in by the two cars behind the crazy old lady.
That guy was me.
sigh
If you post a link to Let Me Google That For You on a message board that is designed for the exchange of questions and answers, I’m going to assume you are a giant flaming asshole. The site just isn’t the funny and doesn’t make you look as clever as you think it does. If it is too much bother for you to answer the question, just don’t bother doing so.
I drive a motorcycle.
Sometimes I will even drive it to the store if I only have a few items to get.*
I’ll try to park in non-spots when possible and practical, but sometimes I have to use a regular marked space.
Arranging purchases in saddlebags can be challenging if I’ve bought enough stuff.
Honking at me will not get the bags packed any faster. In fact, the last time someone honking at me while I was getting ready to leave was just what I needed to make me reconsider that package of beef jerky at the checkout. I just had to go back in and get it.
*Shopping hint. You want to stay in budget? Get a motorcycle. It’s amazing how many impulse purchases you can avoid when the primary consideration is how you’re going to get it home.
As opposed to being lazy, it’s more likely Mr. Lazy Ass was waiting for to leave so you didn’t accidentally lose your mind and ram him as he’s pulling into the spot next to you.
This…
and this…
both made me giggle out loud. I can just picture the friend “I just got a promotion, why is he telling me Congressional?”
My current mini-rant is only that it is TOO cold in here. 64 is too cold for an office!
I live in Florida, it’s 86 degrees outside, and I’m considering getting a space heater for work! Or at least bringing in a quilt to wrap myself in as I sit at my desk. I should be grateful, it’s better than being hot.
For fuck’s sake, Sears.
The Columbia store has it, the Greenville store has it, the Winston-Salem store has it, and the Greensboro store has it.
Why doesn’t the Charlotte store have it?
I totally agree! You know, it’s like annoying when, you know, people keep repeating the word like, you know.
Seeing as I was blocked in to my spot because of his car, I sure hope that wasn’t the reason…
All i want to buy are some denim shorts and some more tank tops because i need them !!! I live in Florida for fuck’s sake, and its going to be hot and rainy soon, and i DON"T NEED pants now!
I intend to buy pants LATER. And when i say shorts, i want them either fingertip length or mid-thigh, I have knee length shorts and they PISS ME OFF. I don’t wear them. Walmart has ZIP, so that means i have to go to Target or Old Navy. I’m going to have to buy a sewing machine and start making my things.
Fuck this piece of shit Dell computer for needing to be completely reformatted for the third time in FIVE MONTHS! I never had any serious problems until last summer and then the fucking thing goes kerfuckingfloooey several times a day!!
Dear Media Bozos: We understand that you feel it necessary to hype a dull horse race with whatever’s handy, but Gloria Steinem is not running in the Preakness on Saturday. It will be a large, galumphing equine of the female gender (or as we aficionados prefer to call them, a horsie).
Anyway, “Rachel Alexandra” is a hoity-toity name for a horse. If you want to intimidate the stallions in the race, “Hell’s Bitch On Wheels” would be a far better choice.
Okay, guy sitting at the computer next to me in the library.
Now that you’ve been farting for the last hour (I know it’s you because you stare stiffly straight ahead as everybody sniffs, looks around and fan their hands under their noses when the odor wafts over the land), you either need to (a) stop, (b) go into the hallway when you do it, © go to the bathroom and evacuate, and/or (d) schedule an emergency and immediate appointment with a gastrointerologist.
I don’t even want to know what your constantly moving hand has been doing in your lap during all that time.
Did you try Monroe?
Yep. Out of stock. Good idea, though.
What? No. Monroe wouldn’t have it. Talk to Mr. Rush, Jackie, or Sara instead.
It doesn’t matter.
In the grand scheme of things, it really, really, really doesn’t matter. But even in the small, constrained scheme of things, the tiny photograph (not the big picture), it still doesn’t fucking matter.
Stop annoying me about it.
Jackie, please. 