"May you/your..." lines

In My Humble Opinion
1

My buddy, Harold, just did a HUGE favor for me, so I wrote him back a very happy e-mail (“You’re a saint! A SAINT, I tell you!!!” and the like) and ended it with “may you get laid in the near future!” I added this last bit because that seemed like something a young singel guy would want.

THis got me thinking, what other “blessings” or whatever you call them would you give or want to receive? Some that pop into my mind:

  1. May your panty-lines never show!

  2. May you find a $20 on the sidewalk today!

  3. May your MST3K tapes never break!

  4. May you get all the money you requested for Christmas!

Any others? THe sillier, the better!

May You Never Get the Blue Screen of Death,
Patty

2

May the forces of evil get lost on the way to your house.

and on the negative side:

May the hairs surrounding your anus become irrevocably entangled.

3

:eek: how did you know?!?!

4

“May you have regular and healthful bowel movements.”

Bonus points to anyone who knows the ref! :smiley:

(This is eeeaaaasy…)

5

“May your beard grow long and curly” (this is actually a traditional one in my family, IIRC)

6

In all seriousness, I don’t think it gets any better than this one, as far as one I’d give/want to receive:

“The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face
toward you and give you peace.”

As far as silly ones:

May you win the lottery and stay the same person!
May your car never break down!
May you never get popcorn hulls stuck in your teeth!

7

May the wind be always at your back and the road rise up to meet you.

8

On the evil side, one of my favorite curses, (Yiddish origin, I think):

May all your teeth fall out but one, and in that one, may you have pain.

And more fancifully:

May a swarm of angry hornets take refuge in your pants.

9

May you live in interesting times.

10

My favorite.from Bored of the Rings-“May your hemhorroids shrink without surgery.”

11

Again, there are so many to choose from…

“May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be always at your back, may the sun shine warmly upon your face, and the rain fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again, may the Lord hold you in the hollow of His hand.” An oft quoted Gaelic blessing.

I like “May the wind at your back never mess up your hair.”

“May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, the foresight to know where you’re going, and the insight to know when you’re going too far.”

“May you be in Heaven a half hour before the Devil knows you’re dead!”

“May you never be taken to be sillier than you want to be or more seriously than you think you are”

“May this blessing make more sense to you than it does to me”

“May all your accidents be happy”

“May you look happier than you have a right to be, and feel happier than you look”

“May your injuries heal before anyone adds insult to them”

“May your laughter never make anyone cry”

“May all those who bless you be blessed”

Namaste. Yogini :slight_smile:

12

[irish brogue]

May you be in heaven a half hour before the Devil knows you’re dead.

May you never find yourself tap dancing in a mine field.

May you never accidentally try out your Latin on a Jesuit.

13

My favorite that I saw on this message board awhile back:

“May your ears turn into assholes and shit on your shoulders”

14

Grelby - - you mean “The Ref” the movie? If so - - it’s one of my favorites!

“Santa can’t drink any more milk tonight. Santa has a lactose intolerance, it gives him horrible gas pains. You wanna see Santa farting down everyone’s chimney?”

“From now on the only person who yells is me. Why? Because I have a gun, okay? People with guns can do whatever they want. Married people without guns, for instance, you, do not yell. Why? No guns!”

“What’s your name?” “Fu** you, that’s my name.”

“You know what this family needs? A mute.”

LMAO!! :slight_smile:

15

Oh wait - you meant ref as in reference - - here ya go…

Gimlet limped over to the two boggies and forced a smile
“Pox vobiscum. May you eat three balanced meals a day and have healthful, regular bowel movements.”
“How comes it”, said Arrowroot, “that we meet in this strange land ?”
“It is a tale long in the telling”, said Pepsi, pulling out a sheaf of notes
“Then save it” said Goodgulf.

16

May a rabid badger find its way into your codpiece.

17

May you find the bluebird of happiness has decided to nest in your yard.

18

May the wind at your back not be your own. --Garrison Keillor

May you find the need of a spare tire, and finding none, may you walk a long, long way.

19

May your hair ever curl!
May the hair on your toes never fall out! (My favorite Hobbit blessings/toasts)

20

“May you get everything you so richly deserve!”

Make of that what you will.