What sorts of sayings are there to wish misfortune upon your enemy? Such as **May your chooks turn into emus and kick yer’ dunny down, ** or May a thousand camel-fleas infest your anus etc.
Got others?
May your windshield always be covered with Chick tracts.
Oooh, thanks Lel. I have just the person in mind to be the recipient of THAT particular wish!!
How about:
May the ever-pooping Pigeon of Doom hover over you into eternity.
may your penis grow to such a length that getting a hard on will cause you to pass out.
There was a Blackadder episode where they were selling curses. The low end was “May something slightly unpleasant happen to you, like a turnip falling on your head.”
The high end, however, was “May God loathe you and all your kind, may you be turned orange in hue, and may your head fall off at an inconvenient moment.”
May you happen across a fortune in precious jewels and may your medical bills be 10% higher.
May you live in interesting times.
May you live in a house with a hundred rooms and die in every one.
May you inherit great wealth and may it not cover your medical bills.
May you get crabs the size of orange crates.
Oh goody, another excuse to plug one of my favourite web sites, on which you can learn how to wish all sorts of horrible things on someone as Gaeilge.
Example: Go gcreime na gráinneoga cealgrúnacha do chuid fo-éadaigh (“may the malevolent hedgehogs gnaw at your underwear”).
And yes, there is a pronunciation guide.
May your filing cabinets irreparably jam, your fax decide it’s time it joined the Electronic Equipment Liberation Front, your Internet browser think that the only site in all the world is some obscure Mongolian venture into curdled ass milk as a laxative, and the landlord of your office building remember that the lease payments are way overdue.
Apart from that — have a nice day.
May you have lots of children and work as a deskclerk.
May your wife always desire sex but never with you.
May you look as handsome as Paul Newman but always have itchy piles.
May your children always look identical to thier father… and may you have lots of daughters.
May the putrid hamsters of the underworld consume your post and soul in a fiery blast.
May a wart the size of a potato grow in the center of your forehead.
May you live like an onion, with your head in the ground and your legs in the air.
It doesn’t follow the format, but I love this insult that I found in Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary, under the entry for “scimetar”: “Thou bastard son of a three-legged hunchback without thumbs!”
(and while you’re reading TDD, look up the entry for “regalia”, it’s my favorite)
May the elastic of your underwear always fall down your hips while the crotch always rides up your ass.
May the bottoms of your feet itch like crazy while you’re wearing shoes and socks and cannot take them off to scratch.
May you always have that “I have to sneeze but I don’t sneeze” feeling.
May you always miscount the number of steps.
May Cthulhu take tour eyes. I only wish this on people who hang up on me.
It Should Be “your eyes”
Preview is my friend.
May you be forced to play solitaire with an pinochle deck.
May your pants be tight enough to stop you from scratching your inevitable leg-itch properly.
May your thumbs have bits of skin hanging off either side of the thumbnail
(causing immense displeasure when something needs to be retrieved from a tight pair of pants’s pocket)
May you continue to pick at the bits of hanging off skin next to your thumbnails subconsciously, despite the pain they cause when doing almost anything involving clothes.
May you realize that you have ran out of things to do 5 hours prior to the end of a shift.
May you hear the same 4 newsitems 27 times in a row.
May you outlive your children and your grand children.
Cheers, Keithy