Me, a french fry, my nose, laughing, and how it doesn't mix!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I never thought I could get such displeasure from eating a french fry, but you live and learn I guess. So me and my cousin decide to hit a few stores today, and for lunch we went to Wendy’s. Everything seems cool enough, other than their getting both of our orders wrong, stupid morons. We finally sit down to eat, and blah blah blah, then something bad happens…something very bad.

I notice two little girls, maybe 7-8 years old each, going from table to table, with a box of Krispy Kremes. They finally come up to our table, and in the sweetest voice she looks up at us both, and asks us “Would either one of you care to buy a box of donuts for $5 to help me with my SCHOOL TRIP?”. I just say “no thank you”, and think nothing of it seeing how I didn’t have any small bills and didn’t feel like breaking a $10 or a $10, but my cousin had other plans. He pulls out $1 and gives it to her, saying he doesn’t have enough for a box but he’d love to make a donation. He’s usually not one to do like that, so I saw it as kind of odd.

I ask him why he gave the kid a single buck, it just isn’t like him. At this point, I took a single french fry, loaded like hell with ketchup and salt, and stick that thing in my mouth and chew a single time, not even enough to break it up into pieces. Then, right as that is going on, my cousin finally replies to me…

…“Why did I give her a buck? How in the world could anyone NOT give at least a single buck to a little girl who comes up to you in the middle of Wendy’s, and asks you to buy some donuts to help her fund her SKIN TRANSPLANT!?”

At this point, I about died laughing, and little did I know that would be a mistake. I never thought I could succesfully snort an entire french fry up into my nasal passage untill today. As he said that, I laughed, and as a result all of the fry, all of the ketchup, and all of the salt went flying up to me nose, and I thought I was going to die. I couldn’t breathe for a short time, and all the while I was trying like fuck to get that shit out of my nose…everyone in the restaurant is now looking right at me. So here I am, coughing, not being able to breathe, blowing my nose over and over again trying to get a fucking french fry out of my nose.

After a few minutes of struggle, I am finally able to cough up that french fry, back down from my nose and out my mouth it went. What I had left was about 3/4 of it, about an inch and a half or so. I couldn’t believe it, but I wasn’t done yet. I kept blowing my nose, and every time I would blow out ketchup, salt, and chunks of potato every time. This went on virtually all day, and only ended a earlier this evening.

My problem though, is that ever since it happened, I’ve felt like total shit. I haven’t been able to eat hardly anything, my throat hurts, my head is aching, and my nose is fucked up. I never knew a single french fry could cause such a shitty experiance.

If you are wondering why I’m laughing, it’s just because it caught me off guard. I couldn’t believe that my cousin thought something like that when I heard her perfectly say something else…he’s weird though, so whatever.

So, the moral of my story is simple. Wendy’s is the devil, and you should never laugh while eating anything.

I’ve simply never had such a large piece of food do that before, and I never want it to happen again. Have any of you had such an experience before?

2

That made me laugh so hard coffee came out my nose.

I’m sorry, I really am sympathetic. A recent laughing fit involved me inhaling chocolate into my lungs, while a friend stood around saying: “What’s the joke? I don’t get it. What’s so funny?”

Being unable to stop laughing while almost choking to death is NOT amusing.

3

Great story, but now I’m scared to eat french fries.

4

It’s ok to laugh about it, I laugh about it myself now…it was rather odd, heh.

5

sometimes i am psychic… i forsee a trip to an ent in your future. (a doctor not a tree herder)

amazing story.

6

bows

7

Mmmmm, Wendy’s French fries. Even that story doesn’t deter me from desiring their potato-y goodness.

Having something acidic AND salty in your sinuses does sound pretty uncomfortable. I’m surprised your nasal passages haven’t revolted and sprung out of your nostrils so they can strangle you.

Sigh Now Wendy’s will have to put warning messages on their Frnech fry boxes. Either that or ban skinless girls from soliciting their pastries.

8

You think you know pain? I once got potato sticks in my nose!

If you didn’t already know it, potato sticks are like matchstick fries, but dried up and preserved in the manner of potato chips. They’re pointy, which is what I’m really getting at.

Well, I was getting over a cold, and, in my short life up to that point, I hadn’t made the connection that when you blow your nose, anything that’s in your mouth is going to be sucked up into your nasal cavity. Took a lot more blowing to get rid of them, but eventually, my nose was clear. And surprisingly, the incident did not put me off potato sticks.

What was particularly frustrating was asking my mom for assistance, then trying to explain lugubriously that nothing had happened to the potato sticks that were in the bowl…no, I didn’t need to throw them away…no, I wasn’t going to eat them like that, because they weren’t “like that”…“Mob! They’re id by DOZE!!”

9

But I still don’t get it. Who misheard—you or your cousin? She was asking for a skin transplant and you heard “school trip”? Or she said “school trip” and your cousin heard “skin transplant”? Or was he pulling your leg?

10

Yet another reason onion rings are better than french fries.

11

mmm, onion rings. those are really yummy

12

Heh, you could’ve sued Wendys. I wonder what those warning labels would be like?

13

Once in high school, our baseball team was en route to play in another city, and in the van ride there, our catcher stuck a large peice of licorice up his nostril, to prove that he could get it out of his mouth…basically, he put it up there, but VERY LITTLE came out his mouth. We laughed quite a bit while he suffered. Hours later, probably around the 4th inning whilst sitting in the dugout during our turn at bat, he turned to towards the concrete wall of the dugout and sneezed, at which point, almost the entire large piece of licorice came out either his mouth or nose and stuck itsell against the wall. We all stared in horror.