Meet my folks!; What's the rush?

At what point in a new relationship did you decide it was time to introduce your new boyfriend/girlfriend to your parents?

Was it a month? 3 months? 6 months? A year? After the engagement? At your wedding?

I expect the answers will vary but I expect will likely skew closer to the engagement announcement date than the first date on the relationship timeline.

However, I’ve noticed a trend with these damned kids these days where there is a peculiar rush to introduce the s.o. to the folks after only the first few dates.

Is that just me, or has anyone noticed this to be true as well?

For me the reasons could vary. I have dated girls I felt would just fit in well with the family and would likley enjoy a family get together. Other times I may have yested the waters to see how they got along. I don’t put much significance on meeing the folks.

I think it was about a year. We had to travel out of state (we flew).

My (now) Wife’s parents picked us up at the airport. My Wife asked if they had any trouble getting to the airport. My FIL (to be) responded “No trouble at all. And we haven’t been to this airport since you brought that last guy home”


It was great. So inocent and honest. My FIL turned out to be just that. But usually by sticking his foot in his mouth. I get along fabulously with her family.

I’ll testify, but I don’t think my experience will be very enlightening, because of one minor factor.

It was a few months. (2, maybe.)

However, the minor factor is that we were both minors. I was 17, she was 15. So I kind of had to meet her parents to go out with her.

I suspect this experience is outside of what you had in mind.

You’re not far off with respect to age. I’m actually talking about kids in their late teens still living with parents.

I’m in my late <muffle-muffle>-ties and when I was that age, the last thing on my mind, and that of my peers, was to rush to meet the parents and hang out with them. At most, it was a polite first greeting at the door. More often than not it was a stern voice from inside the recesses of the house yelling, “Be home by 11:00pm!”.

Correction: Early <muffle>-ties. So not quite of the age to yell at kids from my porch. :slight_smile:

Wouldn’t that be a big factor, in general?

I know many people (including my youngest brother) whose two families had actually known each other before the “kids” started dating. But they were from the same town and moved in close-enough circles: my parents and future-SiL’s parents were in the PTA together, we used to shop at her mother’s convenience store, both mothers used to be catechists in the same parish.

A couple I knew, his parents didn’t get to meet the future inlaws until they came to Miami for the wedding. But then, the groom was from Armenia; since the bride was from Hialeah, he’d met her parents within a few weeks of starting to date.

When the opportunity afforded itself. Usually it was a family gathering like Thanksgiving.

In my case, I was on the receiving end. I had flown into town to spend the weekend, it was our first date sorta “hey, lets hang out” weekend.

Well, OK, sure, I would love to go to your parents house and spend a few hours with the whole family. :frowning:

I mean, I get along with everyone and all that, but the symbolism was a bit over-much.

We did not continue to see each other. Not for that reason…

It’s all over the place. I met my wife’s parents just a few months after I met her because I drove to her place to see her. (NY to Philadelphia.) She didn’t meet mine until we were engaged because we never were in the same place at the same time.
My oldest daughter dated her husband in high school, so we met him right away. My youngest met her husband in Germany so they were quite serious before we met him.
As for embarrassing FIL things, mine asked me what my prospects were. He was a musician. I was going to MIT majoring in Computer Science. So not a hard question to answer.

When I was in high school my girlfriends would meet my parents within the first couple of weeks but once I moved out it was normal for them to both get invited to a party I was hosting and then they meet or if I got invited to my parents either way it was normally 5 min in gatherings of 30+.

With my now wife she met my parents after we had been living together for about 3 months since I took her home for Christmas we’d been dating for about 9 months at the point.

You meet a young lady you want go out together, if she needs their permission its good if you ask them, If she does not need their permission it is always good to keep them on side

To answer this, the first thing I had to recall, through the haze of years, was *which *of my girlfriends had ever met my parents.

Before my wife, AFAICR, only three of my GFs met my folks. My college GF came down to visit me over spring break after we’d been together a matter of weeks. (It was true lust.) When I was in my early 30s and living in downstate Virginia, a GF and I wanted to do some stuff up in DC, so we stayed with my parents while we were there.

In both of those cases, the point wasn’t to introduce her to my parents, but it was kind of unavoidable if she and I were going to be under their roof. I wouldn’t have brought them home specifically to introduce them to the folks.

One relationship when I was in my late 20s seemed to be getting serious, and she took me to her folks’ for Thanksgiving, and she came to mine for Christmas. This was maybe about 9-10 months into our relationship. (We broke up just a few months later, but meeting the folks didn’t precipitate it.)

And my wife and I knew we were serious pretty much right off the bat. We met in grad school, and she took me home to visit her folks over spring break after we’d been together ~5 months, and I took her up to meet my folks after the semester ended a couple months later. (In this case, the answer to “what’s the rush?” was “I’ve just met this great person that I am really wild about, and I think I want to spend the rest of my life with. I sure hope you like him/her too.”)