I have a problem. While I have quite a few friends at university, I don’t have many outside of it. This means that whenever the holidays come around, I get bored out of my skull. And holidays consist of about half the year.
So: If you wished to actively start meeting new people, how would you go about doing it it? Presumably you can’t just randomly walk up to people in the street and say “Hi. You look interesting. Will you be my friend?” (well, I suppose you could…). Presumably group activities are good for that, but I’m not really sure which ones or good or how I would find out about them
Also a similar situation applies when I’m at uni - Most of the people I know are within a fairly small circle, and I’d like to meet others. I plan to start attempting to meet others in lectures, but that limits me to other mathematicians. Mathematicians are scary.
Oh, while I’m at it, any SDMB people living in Cambridge, england? Or near there? That seems like a fairly easy way to make new acquaintances.
I sometimes join little tour groups, like at Oxford, when I’m in the UK, and have met some nice people that way. If you have many holidays, maybe you could give local tours through the local tourist information center, to meet people. Or find out if there are volunteer opportunities. I know someone who met people during college by working at pubs at night.
Perhaps I should have been a little clearer - I’m looking to meet people who live in the area, so tour groups won’t really work.
Also, I should have said that I can’t do pubs and bars - I can’t deal with cigarette smoke, and every pub or bar in the city that I’ve encountered comes with it’s very own cloud of the stuff.
I have these two great friends from law school - Kimmy and Tara. Kimmy was never sure she wanted to be in law school. So the first week of classes, she walked up to Tara and said, “Look, I’m not sure I’m going to like it here and all so I’m definitely going to need some friends. Why don’t you be my friend?”
Five years later and they are still goofball friends.
I recommend volunteering somewhere. They always need help and you’re likely to meet some great people there.
Borrow a puppy & walk it around, that should do it.
BTW, an interesting thing that no one suggested since I have been reading the board, is to get a name tag. I got one recently for working at the Monterey Bay Aquarium & it seems to be a real people magnet wherever I wear it.
Go out and do things which interest you and you’ll meet people who are interested in the same things you are. OK, I know it’s trite, but it worked for me and I’m as anti-social as they come. Here’s an example: since I enjoy science-fiction, when I moved back to my home city, I took to going to sf conventions. I liked the company and could usually get a fix of good conversation. A couple of years ago, I was standing, talking with a group of people. When the talk got around to dinner, they said “Whose car are you going in?” The next thing I knew, I at a restaurant with a couple of writers and about a dozen sundry other types singing “The Volga Birthday” song to a nearby table with two gentlemen sitting on either side of me massaging my hands. The worst of it was, they were Mensans! A year later, they talked me into going to a Mensa Regional Gathering (RG) with promises of chocolate, good conversation and vicious card playing. I planned to stay a polite 3 hours and leave, and wound up leaving 3 days later. Now, one of the gentlemen I mentioned and his wife are among my closest friends, as is the other one, and at RG’s I’ve found dozens of other friends, not to mention chocolate, good conversation and vicious card playing.
There’s a chance I might have to change cities within the next 6 months, depending on the job market. If I do, I’ve got 3 places I figure I can find possible friends: Mensa, the Society for Creative Anachronism, and Dopers. Actually, I’ve got 4 if you count sf fans. This may make me seem like the biggest geek on the planet, and you may not be far off, but at least I’ll be in the company of other geeks.
Thinking about Cambridge during the holidays, if you’re into music, try going to concerts. When I was at college in the States, I found out that I could go to the local brass band’s concerts for free if I’d usher. I also got to do a little change-ringing in Hawai’i and I found bell ringers to be a very warm and welcoming group. Like the SCA, I think there’s a bit of “If you’re crazy enough to do this, you must be one of us!” I also seem to do all right for making friends in Anglican/Episcopalian churches, but that is strictly my experience.
A couple of years ago, my washing machine broke down and I had to temporarily do my washing at a local laundromat. I happened to meet a guy there and we started chatting. We discovered several common interests and have been friends ever since. Basically, anyplace where you wait in a waiting room/area is good place to meet people.
Another good place to meet people is in the produce section of the supermarket.
You’re slogging through a math curriculum? Take a psych class as an elective. It’ll be a nice reak, and you’ll have three months to hang out with some, you know, “psych” people.
Psych people and psychology departments throw the best parties, bar none. It’s why I switched. That and the prospect of 4 years of reading Bad English Major Fiction
I’m an antisocial college kid too… but I’ve managed to get involved with 5 clubs this year (I started out last year going to fencing and gay pride meeting. Then I met Jen, who took an interest in fencing, and she introduced me to a role-playing game group AND a writing group. This year I think I’ll also get involved in the literary magazine here.). I’ve met so many people through the clubs, and just today I was eating lunch alone and one of the guys in one of the clubs joined me and we had a nice conversation. However, usually the best clubs are the hardest to find, and it’s a good idea to go with someone you know. This isn’t limited to the campus, of course - there are probably hundreds of local groups, you just need to find them.
Of course, outside of school I have my small circles of friends. This summer I went to a SF con (after having a blast at a writing workshop where I met 13 other like-minded people), and it was incredible. I’ve made more friends in the past year than any other - and I think I have social anxiety disorder!
I don’t know, the geodoggies do OK in the party department. In fact, if you want to get to know people, taking a few geology courses can be fruitful because beyond Physical Geo. and Historical Geo. (two of the most fun science courses I ever took), most of 'em involve field trips, often more than one.
These are camping trips that last for a weekend to 10 days. Great way to get to know people.
If you did a double major in math and geology you could be… a geophysicist!
