Son and his boyfriend have been together for about two years now, and moved in together about a year ago. My wife and I have met boyfriend a couple of times (they live 800+ miles from us), and he seems great; they make a good partnership. Son has also met boyfriend’s parents, who likewise live many miles from them but like us come to town now and then.
This Christmas both sets of parents were in town. Son and BF decided to take the plunge and introduce the families. They were both very nervous. But they wasted a good worry: everything went very well.
We got together at the home of BF’s uncle and aunt, who live locally, and had an excellent visit of about three hours. There were six of them and six of us, so that was fair. They all liked the pastries we brought; we all liked the pastries they offered us. BF’s father and I discovered a mutual interest in a particular hobby, the two sisters (my daughter and BF’s sister) hit it off quite well, we all agreed on politics (BF’s 87-yr-old grandmother: “I’ve never voted for a Republican in my life!”), and my mother did not drink too much. Phew!
We already suspected that this was a “for keeps” relationship, but the meeting of the fams seems to make it more probable. I’d be interested in hearing from other parents of grown children about their experiences with this sort of thing. When you met the “other family,” how did it go? Did you like them? (Did they like you?) Did it seem to represent a cementing of the relationship? Any interesting stories, good or bad? Please share!
I can’t remember any situations where I have been a part of a gathering where the only point was to introduce 2 extended families. Events common to both families like weddings, funerals, graduations, certainly. But to be put together to gently play nice for the purpose of meeting the extended family of a relative who’s been dating someone for 2 years? Nope.
Counting the heads on both sides, and being pleased that they were equal struck me as odd. What would have gone wrong if it was just you meeting the future in-laws? Would they have smelled fear on you and attacked using their superior numbers?
Gather round for the approval of the pastries ceremony!
For my parents, it was a dance in one of the local pool clubs, during the local Fiestas. I understand it was the only time they ever danced together: anything to escape that table. The respective parental units were all perfectly happy (the meeting wouldn’t even have taken place like that if they hadn’t), but for some reason “the meeting of the families” seems to be treated as if one party was the Titanic and the other an iceberg by a lot of couples.
For my married brother, the respective parents didn’t meet until the tryout lunch for the wedding banquet, despite both families living 1h away and a 7y courtship. She’d brought him to the house before she’d even accepted that yes, they were an item; he didn’t until they’d announced their wedding date. From my point of view they still communicate like shit, but hey, I’m not married to either one (thank God).
Thankfully the other brother’s fiancée is someone we’ve known since we were all in school. The two future co-MiLs have been calling each other comadre among grins and giggles for a while.
