Men and their Asses (TMI)

Why is it that every man I know seems obsessed about what comes out of their asses ? Everybody shits right ? What’s the big deal ?

Last night, my husband comes out of the bathroom and tells me how much he hates the shit that makes him wipe a million times, but this shit is worse. Not only did he have to wipe a lot, but he had to flush twice so he wouldn’t clog up the toilet.

My son announces when he farts, just in case I needed to know that. And when he comes out of the bathroom, he tells me the color, size and texture of his poop.

A friend’s huband once spend all day teaching my kids how to say flatulence when they were toddlers, so they would impress their preschool teachers with thier big vocabulary.

I really, really don’t need to hear about this.

Hm. You should probably avoid lieu’s posts, then.

as well as his bathroom…

Trust me dg I am not like this. I don’t even like to look at my results. I am completly filled with guilt and shame over my bodily functions.

Nor do we. :smiley:

Because farting is funny!

We’re somewhat conditioned to be gross and disgusting and crude, and what better to fit all these characters than those wonderful little bundles of joy we like to call our asses? Everyone’s taught when being potty trained how wonderful pooping is, and when we do it, it should be celebrated. Then, girls are conditioned that it’s not ladylike to profess one’s success in the head, whereas little boys get laughs and giggles when they make fart jokes and the like. I’m 24. In the studio with me is typically a 31 year old guy, and a 26 year old guy. We have a female anchor, female weather woman, and a male anchor. Fart jokes are the funies fucking thing, and they get a lot of play behind the scenes. Even the ladies laugh and make their own jokes. Farts are just funny.

As for shit itself…don’t know about that. Maybe the men in your family are just fecalpheliacs, but honestly, unless the hubby starts bringing them to bed, I wouldn’t worry about it.

Before I go, here’s a little thought to keep you warm at night…

Everytime you smell someone’s fart, you’re smelling something that was up their ass.

I’m 29. And a chick. And it’s all still fucking funny to me.

Gross, yes, but funny.

Hey, everybody does it. Ooh! That reminds me, ever heard of those kids books Everybody Poops and The Gas We Pass? I think there’s also one called The Holes in Your Nose. Basically it tells kids that bodily functions are natural, and that everybody does it. Cute books. Of course, I find them hysterical, but that’s just my juvenile sense of humor.


Coprophiles. It’s a Greek root, not a Latin one.

Anyway, I think it’s a throwover from our caveman roots. We used to mark our territory with our, ahem, “deposits”, so we men would boldly venture into the other tribe’s territory to leave a great, steaming, malodorous heap behind as a challenge. Obviously, getting caught while doing this was a recipe for disaster, so perpetrating such an act was a mark of courage, to be bragged about in the interests of gaining deserved status. Since this predates the dawn of history, we have no conscious memory of the reason why we do this… just a little switch in our id that throws every now and again.

Alternatively, I may just be full of… but you see where I’m going :smiley:

I can’t count the number of times I’ve been subject to the Corn Shit Conversation: talking about how, after eating corn on the cob, the undigested niblets turn up in the toilet.

Or …

“When corn on the cob, becomes corn on my log!”

Yes, it’s pretty much the men who bring it up.

Poop is great. Poops means it’s outta me. Just where I want it.

I’m not obsessed with it… but I sure feel relief/pride/accomplished post BM.

It is all pretty remarkable… when ya think of it. We don’t even give it a thought… we go about our daily buisness… all the while our bodies are making turds. We are quite the mutli taskers!

Men can’t squeeze out babies… so maybe crap is all they have to brag about.

We still do that, but we deposit McDonald’s and Starbucks franchises.

Obsessed? No.

Butt, it’s our asses, and some times we need to vent.

Is nothing sacred anymore?

Eh. Think of it as an exercise in vocabulary building.

When I saw the title, I thought we were back onto the subject of Satan again…


My friend’s roomate (female) is like this. She’ll interrupt him on the phone to show him the turd she left in the toilet. When we’re wrestling she’s play dirty by sitting on my head then farting. When she and him used to have to share a bed she used to fart then stuff his head under the covers (I believe its called a ‘Dutch Oven’) and the smell would wake him up, coughing and swearing.

The question is why does anal emision humor have such a universal appeal?

The answer, of course, is that “Everything comes down to poo in the end”.

Understand, I’m not saying the the universe is a big steaming pile of shit. I’m saying that the universe is a big shit prducing machine. Everything either is shit, is becoming shit, or is making shit. If the universe can be said to have a discoverable purpose, I think it can only be the continued transformation of energy into shit.

So, fecal humor can be seen as an expression of joy in the design of the universe. :smiley:

:eek: I’m not sure why I picked this one, it just seemed to have a different meaning in the current context.

Wasn’t it George Carlin who pointed out that we always look at everything that comes out of our body?

Then I assume you probably aren’t a regular visitor to The Poop Report Web site, right?

Man, mention a fart one time and nobody will let you forget.

Because you need to meet some different men?