OK, I was just at the gym, going over to the mat to stretch and get out of there. This older due was doing something that involved having one leg in the air, and without even meaning to look…there was his scrotum. Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrggghhhhh!
A similar thing happened last summer. I have this male friend that is really skinny, so his bathing suits are a bit baggy. My best friend and I were standing there, waiting for him to put his shoes one, and BAM! Not just scrotal exposure, but full penile revelation! I for one wanted to put out my eyes. That was one dick I never wanted to see. We’re all supposed to go to the beach together again in June, and my best friend and I are already full of dread at the thought of accidental johnson viewage. We’re going to try turning our backs to him whenever he sits down, without being too obvious about it.
What is it with some guys? Is it that they wear boxers, which can’t cover everything if a guy moves his leg up? Don’t men’s bathing suits have built-in underwear to hold the unit in there? Don’t these guys feel a breeze or something? I’m sure they’d be mortified to know they were flashing, not just me, but the entire gym/beach/ wherever. I know some wag is going to suggest that both of these men are exhibitionists, but really… no.
Sorry, I just had to vent after seeing a 65 year old man’s scrotum against my will. Going to get a dropper to bleach out the eyeballs now…
Gorsnak: So let me see if I have this right-- you’d rather wear impractical underwear, even if you’re in a place where people of all walks of life are going to see some portion of your johnson, squished by the seam of your shorts, looking all red and bulbous and weird and gross, than wear tighter shorts for the scant hour or so you’ll be there? :eek:
Maybe you are a closet exhibitionist, eh? :dubious:
All kidding aside, I’m sure that old dude would be tres embarrassed if he knew he flashed me (and any other poor unfortunate who walked by). My skinny-ass friend certainly would have been mortified. If these guys so clued out as to the johnson exposure, someone should really tell them. OTOH, there’s really know way I’m going to bring it up, that’s for damn sure.
My thoughts exactly. Why does seeing a portion of male genitalia horrify you so much more than, say, seeing a male ear? You know what they are, you know that all guys have them, if seeing one gives you the vapors to that degree, then just look away, for cry eye.
Look, there are things, like soccer balls, which are infinitely more fun to play with than to watch. I’d put a scrotum in that category. I really don’t want to see it - they’re UGLY! I don’t go around waving my flabby, mayonnaise-hued bare belly in your face, don’t show me your scrotal tissue! Let’s hide the ugly things and let people’s imaginations make them seem more attractive than the reality.
In case you didn’t realize this, the scrotum is not the most attractive part of the male anatomy, even with good lighting and a light dusting of talcum. It hardly bears saying that there is a time and a place for scrotum viewage. Also, it’s not too much to ask that a girl get to pick and choose the scrotums she has to see, considering their relative aesthetic value. It hardly makes me a Puritan that I don’t want to see some old guy’s mashed scotum. Honestly.
Um, no, it was a sweaty, squished-up exercising scrotum. If it were a fucking scrotum I’d have found it marginally more interesting.
It won’t? It doesn’t? Well thank god for small favors! Though that is rather a hilarious mental image that I will treasure for years to come, no doubt about it. Gotta go, need to get a tissue to wipe the juice spew off the monitor…
You know, I have a scrotum and I’m even afraid of it. If you’re ever really bored, stare at your scrotum for five or ten minutes. It’s constantly changing, you can watch it move and it happens all over without a central command post. It’s like Ray Bradbury’s ‘Illustrated man’ where the mans whole body is covered in tattoos and if you look close enough, the tattoos move like little characters playing out a story.
It’s strange, like some foreign alien organism that attached itself to my body. It even has its own tempature. Be afraid, be VERY afraid!
I addressed this possibility in my OP. My skinny friend definitely wouldn’t flash anyone. The old guy seemed to be honestly engaged in his exercising and oblivious to his nutsack seeing the light of day. Both were accidental.
This entire thread was worth me picking up the phrase “hanging brain.” Priceless. What with Mockingbird’s scrotumy goodness and Derleth’s March of the Rogue Scrotums, this may be the best thread I’ve ever started.
