Men, how would you handle this situation?

Let’s say you spend the night with a woman and are thinking you don’t want to see her again (60-40 or greater idea that you’re not interested). However, you are a nice guy and offer to drive her home/to her car/etc. Soon after you leave she remembers that she left something at your place that she doesn’t need immediately but will want back.

Is your first instinct to turn around and get it so that you don’t have to have any future interactions with her? Or are you more concerned with getting her out the picture now, and assume that you will mail it to her or give it to a friend or something?



Tell her you’ll get it to her the next day. The next day, drop it in her mailbox.

I’m not a guy, but I couldn’t help wondering . . .

How about not sleeping with people you aren’t interested in seeing ever again?

In the meantime, let her stop by to pick it up, or send it to her via overnight delivery. I mean, geez, if you’re such a “nice guy,” it won’t kill you to be polite to the woman who let you put your penis inside her vagina.

I’m not the guy in question . . . I’m asking more as a hypothetical

I intend never again to sleep with someone I don’t intend to see again, as I hope to never sleep with anyone but Kim. That said, one could decide not to see a person again because of what happened when you fucked them. The sex could have been really bad, or the person could have been insistent on doing something you found very uncomfortable, or some uch.

I’ve never been in that situation, but I say let her come back and pick it up later sometime. I mean it really depends on why you decided to stop seeing this girl in the first place.

Sorry baby, but the decontamination squad will have already burned that.

Risky move, my nippo-phile friend. If you intend never to spend company with said damozel again, you do not give her an opening to return to your abode.

そうですね(you have a point). You are correct that it grants her an opening, but the courteous thing to do is still appropriate, generally speaking. Treating her like a used condom and dropping it off in her mailbox just makes me feel icky.

Okay, my earlier post was a mite too close to my SA bad behavior, so I’ll be serious a moment. Auto, you are entirely correct that no woman – not even Ann Coulter – deserves to be treated as a used condom. But dropping the item off in her mailbox is not, in itself, doing so; it’s returning an article to her in a fashion designed to minimize drama. If the decision has been made to sever connections, you should not allow a circumstances in which the other person returns to your home.


Of course we are forgetting one option, which is never return it. When she calls, don’t answer. Fuck her.

This has happened to me in reverse, and I was out a 50$ phone charger. On top of that, there was no sex. Now I feel bitter and cranky.


I still feel that returning the article via mailbox is rather cold. I guess if you’ve already told this girl that connections will be severed, then it’s the way to go. I’m a huge conponent of ignoring people I guess.

You are still in the car on the way to her home? Just do it on the spot and be done with it. Unless you are virtually at her door and it’s quite a long drive.

I’ve made my share of bad decisions in my life, but I’m not such a coward that I can’t look even the worst of the women I’ve slept with in the eye and manage an at least cordial conversation. People have sex. Sometimes it turns out to be a one-night stand. Oh well, life goes on. No big deal.

Give her her property back, whether by bringing it over or letting her stop by, politely zip through your “nice weather we’re having well it was nice to see you have a nice day”, and be done with it. Skeevy behavior like totally refusing to answer calls or dropping property in the mailbox just paints you as an immature coward, and gossip like that just loves to spread.

I’m pretty sure I was unclear. I don’t think it’s acceptable to never tell the woman that you do not intend to see her again; I just think inviting her back to your home to retrieve the item is stupid. Yes, you should be a man and tell her it’s over to her face; no, you should not invite pointless drama once that’s been done.

I get that, and I’ve been there, but really bad sex doesn’t excuse being an asshole to someone. Neither does being uncomfortable - unless that discomfort was a reasonable fear that she was going to harm you physically or emotionally.

What I really don’t get is how any person can be so cavalier about sex - the origin of new life, beginning of deep intimacy, possible cause of deadly contagion, and source of some really enjoyable aerobics - that they treat their partner with less courtesy than another person at the bus stop.

Color me perplexed.

Well, take the answer as a hypothetical then.

Please don’t be a dick - metaphorically or literally.

I find the apparent assumptions quite interesting from the men in this thread that either:
a) the woman is absolutely dying to repeat the experience - what makes you think her earth moved?; or
b) she’s going to turn into a bunny-boiler who won’t leave you alone.

That said, I’d say act like a grown-up and either offer to go back and get whatever it is if it’s not far, or say that you’ll get it to her, and either drop off or courier.

I think it’s actually illegal to put things in mailboxes unless you are the mailman or the femailman, so that really shouldn’t be an option. I vote for returning it to the lady, maybe a quick lunch-hour type thing and let that be that.

<blatant hijack>

I love that word!


Well, I’m a woman, and these types of “unpleasantnesses” don’t really bother me, so I’d totally drop them an email or call and have them pick it up, drop it by, whatever.