Pretty sure it would screw me up - what doesn’t, at 16?
I think I can safely say that most 16 yo are pretty screwed up at the best of times, so this wouldn’t be therapist/PTSD territory, for me at least. As mentioned above, if things started to get emotionally attached the dance could get pretty messed up pretty quickly.
The sex itself might not screw me up (though it might; I didn’t end up losing my virginity until I was 24). The aftermath almost certainly would. If I’m 16, it’s safe to say I have at least one more year, maybe two, left at that school.
It’s hard to say for sure, but I will say that it certainly could have the potential to screw me up, especially if she was married or if there was a scandal.
The trouble with questions like this is figuring out exactly what “fine” and “screwed up” mean. All sorts of experiences throughout my life have left me both “fine” and “screwed up” in different ways.
How this sort of experience would have changed me would depend a lot on the other person in the equation and how she handled it/communicated about it all.
What about this teacher from today’s paper here in Ottawa?
I think I’d be OK with it.
I answered Fine, though obviously I’ll never know. Hell, I’m not sure I’m fine now. I do know I spent a lot of time daydreaming about sexing the teacher. And the girl in front of me. And the girl next door, down the street, the girl I saw at the bus stop…
I had never been with a teacher but I did have several trists with older women in the neighborhood. I don’t think it damaged me.
There were no hot teachers when and where I went to school. Even now I can’t imagine being aroused by one of them even if I could transport my present self back to 1977. The cheerleading coach maybe in a pinch, but I’m pretty sure she was lesbian. So I guess I’d be even more screwed up if I’d have had sex with any of them.
I voted that I would be fine for the following reasons:
[ul]
[li]The scenario makes so many underlying assumptions it is basically fantasy, so really, any outcome is equally plausible.[/li][li]I was a total goober at that age, so any weird experience would have just been one more in the bucket.[/li][li]I was also extremely cynical and anti-authority at that age, so I wouldn’t have lost any respect for the teacher/school - I didn’t have much to begin with.[/li][li]I was generally playing with slightly older girls at that age anyways.[/li][li]Put me down as another one saying it would be a confidence booster.[/li][/ul]
I’m reasonably sure I would have been fine. I would not have been going into it as a virgin, and my previous experience had been explicitly not part of a relationship, so I don’t think I would have read more emotional depth into it. I was unusually discreet for a teen; as long as the teacher didn’t let something slip, I think it’s unlikely anyone would have found out. I had no particular respect for the school as an institution to start with, so there was nothing to lose in that department.
On the other hand, I’m also reasonably sure I wouldn’t have done it; the risk versus reward is just too high–not for me, but for the teacher. Not that I wouldn’t have been tempted, but such a major risk for the sake of casual sex would have set off warning bells. I believe I would have concluded that either they had ulterior motives or were too screwed up to assess the risks properly. The former, I certainly wanted no part of, and the latter…well, oddly, I think I would have been in the position of a minor deciding that an adult was not able to give informed consent.
Moot point, anyway. I didn’t find any of my teachers attractive, and I find it highly unlikely that any of them would have been attracted to me.
There was a hot teacher at my high school who was having sex with a student my Junior year. When he graduated, I was hoping she’d turn her attention to me. She never did. I think I would have been fine if she had. There were people who knew, but it never got “out” and as far as I know, no scandal.
It would have boosted my self esteem like crazy (which has always been a chronic problem for me), so I’m willing to bet it would probably have been a very good thing for me.
The two teachers involved must have some really serious issues to engage in a guaranteed career-destroying, criminal charges filed escapade like this. My advice to the young man would be to steer clear, as sex with crazy people is generally ill-advised. At 16, I almost certainly would have seized the opportunity and been darn pleased with myself. Later iterations of me, after having experienced the sex-with-crazy thing, would be a good deal more cautious.
Oddly, though my preferences in dating skew younger nowadays, back when I was a teen I was more attracted to older women. I remember once meeting some of my aunt’s mid-30s friends and hoping they would come on to me.
Which I think kinda highlights why this would probably screw up 90% of kids even if there was a mutual attraction and you were mature enough to handle a sexual relationship. The fact is any adult who would risk jail time, ruin their career and family, etc. is damaged and possibly crazy. That sort of person is bound to poison any impressionable kid they have an intimate relationship with.
Grades 1 thru 12, I had Nuns & Christian Brothers as teachers.
A couple of the younger Nuns that no ‘habit’ could hide the fact that they were gorgeous I would have ‘jumped’* at the chance.
Being brought up Catholic and having a strong Catholic conscious, it would have touch* and go* about it messing me up.
- ( If you don’t see ‘it,’ I could not explain it to you. )
This, complete with panicked bugeyed look.
I said I’d be fine. Considering who I WAS boinking at 16, and the absolute havoc she wrought on my life over the next 25 years, it would proabably have been a net win for me.
The first girl I had sex with was three or four years older than I was. (That’s not a stealth boast, or at least isn’t meant to be; she slept with someone so much younger because she was pretty desperate to get laid, not because I was such a stud.) And I had sex with a “teacher” in college; I put “teacher” in quotation marks because she was did as little actual work as possible as her real focus was getting her doctorate at another institution. And I would totally have fucked my 9th grade Spanish and English teachers and put some effort into accomplishing the former.
I don’t feel exploited by either circumstance and never did.
My best guess. For me - not saying anybody else’s guess would be wrong for them.
I know which teacher too. Had a crush on her then, still in touch with her, still have a crush on her.