Men Who Like Women Better Than Other Men

In My Humble Opinion
1

Following the recent thread in this forum about women who prefer male company to that of their own sex, I though I’d conduct a survey about the reverse: men who get on better with women.

Most of my closest friends are women, and have been for almost as long as I can remember: usually platonic friendships, although a couple of these have developed into relationships, and often very “huggy” ones - I tend to be quite physical with women I’m close to. Not all women, of course - dull, stupid or ignorant women bore me - but I just get on much better with women than men, and I find them easier and more interesting to talk to than men.

Men, I’m afraid, just bore me: once you get past talking about “guy stuff” like cars, sports, drinking and machinery, there just isn’t that much to hold my attention: I can fake it if I have to, for the sake of being sociable at work, for example, but I much prefer not to. I don’t have a circle of “mates” I hang out with: only one very close male friend whom I’ve known for 25 years, and most of the rest I’d count as mere acquaintances, and happy to do so.

The majority of men bore me, to be blunt: many women complained in the earlier thread that they found other women to be devious, manipulative and overly complicated: conversely, I find other men to be shallow, dull, and simplistic creatures. Women are, well, interesting to talk to.

A little background: I’m 37, straight, and have been in an extremely happy and stable relationship {which has so far produced one son} for almost ten years now: prior to that, casual girlfriends and a couple of serious relationships, the longest of which lasted about 3 years. I’ve never really stayed in touch with exes, however: too much baggage.

And, as mentioned, a lot of women friends, especially from university: this has caused confusion in the past: my wife is Japanese, where the sexes don’t tend to interact that much, and at first she wasn’t quite sure what to make of my “harem”, as a friend jokingly termed it, especially given that I was often on hugging terms with them {again, not really done in Japan} but my women friends are - well, nice - and once she’d established that they weren’t ex- or potential girfriends, they often became friends too.

Any other guys in a similar position? Anyone want to share their thoughts or experiences?

2

Sure. I’m a guy who tends to get on better with women, too - either (approximately) my age or older - for some reason I am able to get along famously with some women in their 30’s to 50’s or so (I’m 20). Couldn’t tell you why. That’s more of an exception to prove the rule, though, and might have more to do with personality traits than gender. Like most people, I expect, most of my friends are within a couple years of my age, in either direction.

Anyway, like you, I like to make friends with intelligent and interesting women, but my relationships are platonic. In fact, my platonic friendships greatly outnumber the total number of romantic relationships I’ve had with women.

I don’t know that I could tell you why this is, except that I just find women easier and more interesting to talk to, for some reason. That’s not to put men down - I have a number of good male friends, too. But for whatever reason, I find that I’m usually able to have conversations about a wider variety of subjects with my women friends, and conversation just comes more naturally, so I end up becoming close friends with them more often.

Honestly, I’m not even sure that this is all that weird. Quite a few of the guys I know are the same way. Oddly enough, I seem to be more likely to become friends with the men who prefer to spend time with women than I am to become friends with the ones whose friends are mostly other men. So that may skew my perspective.

Anyway, that’s my story. Not really very much to tell, but you’re not alone.

3

I’m reminded of the men and women who have complained about the number of psycho exes they have and their inability to find a good mate. If you’ve got more than three psycho exes then odds are good you’re part of the problem. So, if you find that most men are dull and incapable of holding intelligent and meaninful conversations then you’re probably part of the problem.

Marc

4

At various times I’ve had more female friends, other times more male friends. It just depends on who you happen to meet when you start a new situation.

I did just want to challenge this part; just like women don’t just talk about clothes and shopping, not all men just talk about cars and sports. I have found that when men meet each other for the first time these topics do tend to come up, but I think it’s more of a testing ground to find out what kind of stuff the other guy’s interested in. But it’s perfectly possible to have friendships with interesting guys where the conversations don’t revolve around those topics.

Complicated I can take; the devious, manipulative part I can do without. I once shared an apartment with a couple of women, and the never-ending drama was incredible. Everyone was attributed with an ulterior motive, the most innocuous slight was endlessly analyzed, etc. Call it dull if you want, but I’d prefer to avoid most of that stuff either with women who don’t play that game, or with stereotypical straight-talking guys.

5

Oh, I’m sure they find my conversation equally uninspiring. And I only have one psycho ex.

6

Another guy who get along better with women than men checking in.
Actually, though I’ve some male friends that I appreciate, all my really close friends are females, and I’m generally not interested in the company of other men. Ok, I can share some interest with a guy, so we’re going to do X or Y together, or we’ll discuss politics, or any other relatively shallow interaction. But I really enjoy only the company of women.
I think it has something to do, at some level, with seduction, though, because there are two exceptions : men I find attractive (which extremely rarely happens now) and homosexuals (I mean some of them, of course. It’s not like I enjoy the company of all homosexuals anymore than of all women).
I only said “something to do at some level” because I don’t need to have any interest in a woman to like her. But it seems nevertheless that a pre-requisite is still “someone I could theorically have a relationship with”. (when I think about it, I never had any lesbian friend, either…though it could be purely a coincidence…I have known very few of them).

7

At times, I’ve had larger numbers of male friends, but my closest friends are always women and I do like them better. I’ve never been totally sure why this is. It’s not that I think men in general are superficial, but a lot of them put up superficial fronts, and I just avoid them altogether. Plenty of women are like that, too, but again, I avoid them and have less trouble finding women who seem worthwhile.

8

I like women and gay men the best. Straight men bore me because we have nothing in common. I don’t like sports, or women, or power tools (although I’m asking for a Dremel for christmas) or cars or…

9

What Case Sensitive said really. Spookily, I’m also 37 and straight, though for the sake of the whole human race I’ve chosen not to reproduce. Most of my close friends are women, and that’s the way I like it.

I’ve never quite worked out what most women see in most men. Some sort of biological curse, I guess.

10

If I have to socialize with someone I’ve never met before or know only superficially, I’ll take a woman over a man any day of the week. I just have absolutely no common ground with the average man. Sports just do not interest me. I don’t care that Whoever did a Whatever in the game against Wherever. I probably didn’t even know about it.

With women, I always seem to be able to make some kind of sensible smalltalk.

Now, my regular circle of friends is virtually all male, mainly because we’re… well, geeks. Gaming geeks, to be precise. My closest friend in the world is my ex-girlfriend, and generally speaking I tend to form closer relationships with women.

So, if we’re talking about hanging out casually, I prefer women. If we’re talking friends, I prefer men. And if we’re talking really close friends, I again prefer women.

11

I’m 36, gay, male, and most of my friends are women. (I’m also, by association, friends with thier husbands, if they have one.)

I’m not altogether feminine, but I’m not the Usual Macho Guy, either.

(hijack) clairobscur is a guy??!? (/hijack)

12

This is entirely anecdotal, but I’ve noticed that the most self-confident people I’ve met seem to have a pretty large and diverse cross-section of friends whereas the more insecure folks tend to isolate themselves from anything that could be perceived as a “threat”.

YMMV, of course.

13

I wouldn’t describe myself as shy or lacking in self-confidence, and I don’t perceive other men as a “threat”, physical, social or otherwise: I’m perfectly capable of talking to men if they have something worthwhile to say, but to me many guys seem to fixate on things I have little or no interest in - sports being the prime example. Sure, there are plenty of guys who don’t obsess on the “guy” stuff, and I’m quite happy to have them as casual friends, but I seem to form bonds with women much more easily.

The sexual element? I guess it’s always present, which does add a certain frisson, I guess - like I mentioned in the OP, there’s usually a bit of hugging involved, and mild flirting can be fun - but I’m happily monogamous, and content to remain so: I don’t hang out with chicks and be a “nice guy” in the vain hope that they’ll recognise me for my deeper qualities and have sex with me. Indeed, the “safety” issue may well be a factor: my women friends know I’m not going to make a move, so close friendships and even mock-flirting are safe.

Some more biography, for what it’s worth: I grew up in NZ, which is traditionally a very masculine society. The cult of mateship is valued intensely, and is usually expressed in bonding over traditionally male activities like sports and drinking beer: traditionally, interests like art, books or music are viewed with deep suspicion as being unmanly and quite probably homosexual. Guess which ones I was interested in? I went to an all boys school, too, so while there was no real bullying involved - it was a very peaceable school - and I had my circle of friends, I was usually on the outer as far as being one of the guys was concerned.

14

Most of my ‘close’ friends have been women. It is just easier to talk about personal issues with a woman than it is with a man. Sadly a few of the women developed crushes on me, which actually just screws up the friendship more than anything.

15

Yes. It’s worth repeating, since it’s not like you’re the first one thinking I’m female.

16

I’m fond of the company of women.
And I like mixed groups.
And I like men in business settings.
But men at sports events, live or on TV, are morons.

17

I’m so pleased to have found this thread. Case Sensitive could almost have been reading my mind when he wrote the OP. I’m glad I’m not the only one to feel this way!

18

I remember a couple of parties we went to a few years ago. After a while, the men retired to the den to smoke the host’s cigars and talk about golf, football, and fooling their wives. One guy had a story about mowing down the irises, and now his wife does the mowing. They also talked about how they gave their wives pleasure by whipping out their big, uh, checkbooks. That was where I learned that a really good cigar tastes better than it smells. Well, a little better.

I kept trading off between the men in the den and the women in the living room. The women were discussing novels, politics, meditation, feminism and investments. I ended up spending much more time with the women. It was intelligent conversation, and it was more fascinating than hearing about a guy’s new 7 iron. The ladies finally drove me out by talking about labor pains; I wasn’t qualified to talk about that.

19

Yeah, that’s one thing that makes me prefer female company. Guys can be interesting conversation one-on-one, but three or more and it invariably turns into a childish macho-fest, as if talking about anything more intelligent than beer, tits, rugby or chainsaws in front of other guys will somehow turn you into a girly-man. Large groups of guys are just caricatures of boorishness.

As you said, I don’t get that from women, individually or in groups: they don’t seem to feel impelled to compete with one another for bragging rights about dumb things.

20

41 y/o straight married male with 2 kids chiming in… I have a group of close male friends and we get together monthly. However, but in “mixed company” of new couples (which happens frequently with other parents of friends of the kids) I prefer the moms over the dads… It seems that I’m not a stock-buying, profile-adjusting, son-boasting, car-buying man’s man, and my sarcastic humor tends to dumbfound the guys (e.g., “I don’t know about contact sports, I’m raising my son to be a vegetarian homosexual mathlete” when the guys begin talking about soccer or ice hockey leagues).

Eventually, I end up hanging out with my wife and the moms… they are MUCH more interesting to look at as well! What surprises me is that so few 40-ish men go to concerts, read books, watch TV shows, or have anything remotely interesting to discuss… I guess that is what the Dope is for!