The reason I have a moustache is to twirl it.
I shave every 3 or 4 days, sometimes 5. When I do shave, my (Remington rotary, not recommended) shaver does a pretty poor job of actually removing all the stubble.
When I’m finished, there are always about 30 or 50 individual hairs still standing around my manly lower jaw.
And in the ensuing 24 hours I just pull them all out, one by one, between my fingernails, until they’re all gone.
Of course!
Wait, are we still talking about facial hair?
Facial hair !? 
Oh, right, facial hair. I wondered how Mr.Dibble was able to twirl it…
I’ve had a beard almost constantly for 40 years now. Never really played with it except to occasionally stroke it to intentionally appear thoughtful. I also have a pair of glasses with blanks in them to look smarter, and a tweed jacket with leather patches that I wear to conferences to look academic. People fall for this stuff.
i am thinking and i’m stroking it right now. so pleasurable.
Frequently. Especially when I’m sitting at the bar, which is also frequently…
I was twirling it when I saw this thread title.
I keep a low scrub/stubble look, but I seem to catch myself kind of pinching my chin/whiskers. I suppose it’s a thinking/or absentminded thing and is semi-consciously soothing in some way, kinda like hair twirling (which I used to do when I had hair).
Also, stubble makes for a great way if you need to scratch an itch on your hand or something!
Then, of course, continue with your evil plans to vaporize the earth?