This isn’t about me so don’t think or comment on it that way. This is just an example. I used to be somewhat attractive when I was younger and then the tolls of aging set in. I am 35 now. I have tried to get in really good shape and take care of myself over the past few months and it is working. Again, this isn’t about me.
I work in a building with 1,300 people on one very large floor. I noticed that females seem to play with their hair as they walk past any remotely attractive male. It has literally happened to me 3 times in the two hours including 2 minutes ago which is why I am writing this. There aren’t many people walking around this time a day so these are one on one encounters walking past each other.
I started watching what happens any young, fit males as they pass females and the same thing happens. I know that females don’t whip their ponytails, move their hair along both sides of their forehead, or comb their hair backwards with their fingers all day so something is up. It could be confirmation bias but it seems too common for that.
Ladies, do you mess with your hair if you pass someone you find attractive?
Yep. Although I tend to play with my hair a lot anyway. It’s unconscious, though. I only notice it when my hand’s halfway through it already. Then I feel self conscious about looking the The Breck Girl and coming on too strong and I turn into a total dork.
I remember in Psych classes discussing that any kind of preening gesture (playing with or straightening hair, smoothing clothes, straightening (your own) tie) is often subconscious way of flirting.
Don’t read too much into it, because its generally unconscious - which means that married women who are NOT flirting with you and have no intention of dating you might play with their hair if they are attracted to you (or if they just conditioned it and it feels really soft, or they got a new cut, or its in their eyes, or…I play with mine when I’m thinking)
It evidence someone is attracted to you - its a long way from proof that they are interested in you.
Hell, I’m a GUY and when I had long hair you couldn’t keep me from playing with the stuff. Sometimes it just falls under the category of “it’s there, it’s flexible, and it gives me something to do with my hands.” Or maybe I just have ADD and need to be occupied at all times.
Err… I do. I literally fidget with my hair constantly. I’m putting it up, or taking it down, or examining the ends, or combing my hands through it, or tossing it over my shoulder, or gnawing on it, or or or. Actually I know a lot of women who fiddle with their hair somewhat compulsively.
I tend to twist one particular curl when I am feeling attracted or flirting with someone. It’s on the left side of my head, bottom of the hairline if you are interested. I used to do it without thinking, but now I’m very aware of it when I do it.
Hey, it’s better than when I used to flirt by walking around in my clapboard, ringing my bell.
Female, 36, currently married and checking in here – I don’t and never have played with my hair when around attractive boys/guys/men. I always saw it as a nervous habit in other girls and never quite got it, but assumed it was just preening. I’m weird, though, I prefer to be appreciated for my brains rather than my boobs.
I have actually noticed recently that I tend to start messing with my hair when I am bored or uninterested. Take that with the reminder that I know I am odd.
Sometimes playing with hair is just playing with hair. I tend towards the kinesthetic when absorbing information. When I’m thinking I will do such things as make notes, play with my jewellry, doodle, or play with my hair (which is just short of waist length). When I’m doing any of the above at work, I am certainly not flirting with any of my co-workers.
I have the same problem. I’m a guy and ever since I decided I liked having substantial facial hair, I always am messing with it subconsciously. People who see me must either think I’m an evil mastermind or I’m constantly having strokes of genius. Or both!
Female, 30, happily married, and I play with my hair all the time. In front of attractive men, unattractive men, women of every variety, kids, animals, alone, in front of my husband, in front of my father in law, in front of my mom… I’m friggin’ flagrant.
It’s soft, pleasant to touch, fly-away hair. It needs to be touched. My husband agrees.
I’m 18, have waist length hair and am another who does constantly play with it, partly out of necessity (it gets in the way!) and partly just because it’s something to do with my hands. When it’s windy I like to have it under control by combing through it with my fingers and holding onto it. I also occasionally tie it into one big knot at the end and use it as a “hairy copter” or mace.
When I’m not playing with it, other people often grab the opportunity to do so. I’ve been put into a noose of my own hair, been whipped by it, had it tied to a doorknob, pulled, mussed up and also just plaited and stroked. Does this mean the people who do these things are attracted to me? I really hope not, because my brother’s one of them. Then again, so was my ex.
Actually, thinking back to him, maybe I am guilty of a little flirty preening…
You must be a riot at sleepovers, I mean, just bring some dirty clothes, steal the remote when no one’s looking, put the hair over your head and wait until everyone’s asleep…
And of course by “riot” I mean “causes murders, suicides, and midnight riots in the streets from scaring the ever living Jesus out of people.”
