That’s nothing. I had to go to an outside lab to drop off my sample. And of course it had to be fresh, so I go waltzing through the waiting room of aforementioned laboratory, which was chock full of little old ladies and moms and little kids, with my face all flushed and sweaty, and I’m pretty sure I reeked of Jergins. I get up to the counter and announce to the pretty young nurse (who was standing in front of a harem of more pretty young nurses) that I’m dropping off a sample. She asks, “A sample of what?” I clear my throat so it doesn’t squeak. “Semen.” She took it out of the bag and put in in a little plastic bin. I checked her reaction to see how impressed she was by the volume and warmth. Being a professional, she managed to keep herself under control. I then had to fill out a form which took an additional five minutes of me sweating and adding a creamy aroma of aloe and lavender and balls to the air around me.
I am a girl but my hubby has had this done. He has no pain now. He got carried away* about four days after the surgery and caused himself a few extra days of pain but he is very happy with the results.
*Not lifting heavy objects includes your seven-year-old son. Scared the shit out of my kid when he yelped in pain.
Your wife could always get Essure. Outpatient, done in the doctor’s office, and no cutting. While the procedure itself is painful, I went home, took a nap, and by the time I woke up the pain was completely gone.
I was told to ‘give’ directly at the hospital’s lab wing. So I had to go to the desk and tell the pretty young lady there that I was here to produce a semen sample. She gave me a container, filled out some paperwork for me and asked if I wanted a religious preference listed. I said “Catholic. But if I need Last Rites after this, something’s gone horribly wrong”. It was good for a giggle on her end, anyway.
They wanted my sample taken to the lab by closing, on a work day (about a week or so after the procedure). They gave me a sterile cup, and a little chemical pack to keep it warm, the morning of, with strict instructions to be back by 5:30. I had to rub out a giggity at the men’s room at work, then haul ass over to the hospital, where I had to walk through a waiting room full of people waiting for lab work, carrying a clear plastic cup of my still-warm semen in my hand.
I had it done about 10 years ago. Didn’t feel a thing during the procedure but had a slight ache and some tenderness for 3-4 days afterwards. Since then no problems.
Talking to the doctor while he worked he complimented me on doing a good job shaving down there. At the time my partner owned a dog grooming parlour so I said “oh I didn’t do it, I went to the local dog groomer”. It got a laugh from him and the nurse but with hindsight probably not a good idea to crack jokes to someone holding a sharp knife next to the meat and two veg.
A woman getting pregnant is not always linked to her husband having a vasectomy. That aside, I managed to get an infection after mine and that was painful. Sitting down with frozen peas held against your cods.
However, that was years ago. I guess it still can happen, but it was short term- it was not a long term issue.
I had mine (hmm, my son is now just over 20) almost 20 years ago. No pain after the initial ache - I had a short vas so the doctor had to tug somewhat.
A tale of two snips as related to me by a friend (I have no idea how we got on to this conversation…)
Friend one spent a couple of days post-snip taking it easy and keeping cold compresses on his tender parts. After that, he said all was fine and dandy.
Friend two, a macho, studly dude, went out and played football shortly after the snipping. He ended up in bed for a week in agony - not from a hard hit but because he didn’t think he needed to take it easy.
I don’t say that it’s related, but friend #1 is closing in on his 40th anniversary while #2 was divorced within a few years of his snipping.
I had mine almost twenty years ago. The key to keeping it pain-free is to follow the doctor’s orders - keep off your feet for the entire weekend, ice packs (frozen peas work well), no heavy lifting. Follow those instructions, and life is good. Blow them off, and suffer the consequences.
I followed the instructions, a friend didn’t. Big mistake on his part.
I did occasionally got an itch at the incision site for the first few years.
Just to be clear, we also waited until I had submitted two clean samples in two weeks before we had unprotected intercourse. During that time, my wife employed other means to get the job done. Which is how she determined that there was no difference in the consistency, size or taste of the pre- or post-procedure ejaculate. She even drove my samples to the doctor’s office after obtaining them.
