If I were to give a sincere response to the OP (and I know I’ll get shit for it, but hey, I’m bored at work so I’ll give it a whirl), I’d suggest that maybe the real issue at hand here is cultural differences. “No shit,” you say. I know, hear me out, goddamnit.
Being from California, my Italian-but-pretty-much-white self has vastly more Mexican friends than white, black, or Vulcan. The one thing I’ve noticed is that my more traditional Mexican friends (usually the ones who are the first generation born here in the US, grew up speaking only Spanish, super Catholic, etc.) tend to be fiercely defensive of their children in ways I’ve never seen any of my white friends be. It’s an interesting dichotomy because - as someone mentioned above- my Mexican friends are also quicker to punish their kids in a much more passionate/fierce/whatever you want to call it than my other friends.
What I mean is: I see my Mexican friends are quick to punish their kid pretty fiercely if the kid is doing something they personally deem as inappropriate, but if anyone else were to ever say a word to the kid- whether the kid is doing something wrong or not- my friends would go nuts on the other person. And this is where the cultural difference comes in. We’ve all discussed this and while my Mexican friends all hold out that no one is to ever correct their child but themselves, my white friends say they are happy when they are reinforced by people in public- whether it’s an old lady in the grocery store giving a stern look to the little one or a nice man telling the child not to run into the street.
I notice my white friends tend to expect children to be super quiet and in line while in public- hands behind the back in stores, only speaking when spoken to, etc. And, of course, this is inline both with my upbringing and how I prefer kids to behave when in public (and how I’d try to get mine to behave, of course). The vast majority of my Mexican friends regularly comment that the above is absolutely insane to them: kids should laugh, play, cry, and be kids no matter where they are.
Even the birthday parties my friends throw for their kids are totally different: my Mexican friends will have giant, music-filled, LOUD LOUD LOUD, screaming crazy parties for their kids where guests of all ages are running around, dancing, screeching, and having fun. Hell, all of my Mexican friends let anyone at the park come join their party- something our white friends always are amazed by. My white friends tend to have more ordered affairs: everyone has a seat, blah blah blah. I think it’s just a difference in cultural traditions, that’s all- one that extends into all avenues of life.
I’m not saying one way is in any way better than the other and I also realize I’m making generalizations based entirely on my own experiences. Maybe I’m racist (but all my friends are Mexican!!! :D), but hey, I guess this sticks out to me because my friends and I have all talked about this a few times and I always thought it was an interesting convo. I guess this just makes me wonder if THIS is a little closer to the reasoning behind the OP’s clear selection bias-- it’s just a culture totally foreign to his, so it sticks out.