Mini-doper rants

[Grumman]

@jsgoddess

Links plus commentary are good. Links without anything are annoying.

Agreed, especially when they link to the New York Times, or some other website that requires registration.

[Omegaman]

@fisha

In addition to what Martini just posted–

I hate when this happens.

1. You post an important and well thought out idea, opinion, or fact directly related to the thread.

2. One of the favored or popular 'dopers reiterates your point 5 posts later. They can even quote you in their post.

3. All subsequent laudatory references to your outstanding idea is attributed to the other poster. “Oh, great point, fabulous 'doper! You’re the bestest!”

Shit, I am only good for 3-4 posts a year, can I at least get credit for them?

Excellent post Fisha. I wholeheartedly concur. It is after all December – you’ll have to start over in three weeks.

[Hot_Buttered_Toast]

@Really_Not_All_That_Bright

Don’t forget, they’ll be touring in support of the new album- Obscurey McWhoCares Plays His Hits- this summer.

Don’t forget to whine about how the world is full of philistines for not appreciating Obscurey McWhoCares and how he should be more popular. If only they knew. If only they understood.

Except for the fact that Obscurey McWhoCares is terminally shy and dislikes performing, which brings up the question of why more people should know about him.

[Justin_Bailey]

1. I hate that every couple of months IMHO turns into TMI-land. One person starts a thread on kinky sex or weird bodily fluids, then another, and another, and then the next thing you know there are 20 threads on the first page with “TMI” in the title.

2. Pedantic posters in The Pit.

3. It also pisses me off when some of our more hardcore atheistic members feel free to shit all over religious discussions. Double points when they complain about all the persecution they feel.

4. Oh, and seconded on people endlessly talking about Obscurey McWhoCares bands in music threads. Especially when they get all self-righteous about it.

[Sigmagirl]

@Really_Not_All_That_Bright

Don’t forget, they’ll be touring in support of the new album- Obscurey McWhoCares Plays His Hits- this summer.

Isn’t that “Hit”?

[pbbth]

Posters who, while not quite trolls, seem to go out of their way to make sure that nothing they say is ever polite or supportive of anyone. If you really think everyone here is an asshole that is wrong about everything why do you (general you) even bother to show up?

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

@Sigmagirl

Isn’t that “Hit”?

Philistine!

I Like To Party With Generic Blonde Women went gold in six countries, and two of them were English-speaking!

[Jack_Batty]

My annoyance is people who take the moral high road, exemplefying themselves over all other, regarding inconsequential things.

For example, 'twas quite a while ago, there was a thread about “Do you ever cheat on crossword puzzles?” There was no end to the number of posters who popped in to, rather indignantly, proclaim that they never – NEVER, sir! – look up an answer on crossword puzzles and wouldn’t deign to wallow among the miserable maelstrom of the cretin’s who do.

The same thing pops up with almost anything: speeding, stealing paper clips from work, spitting on the sidewalk, burying hookers under your floorboards …

… you get the picture.

[Antinor01]

@Jack_Batty

The same thing pops up with almost anything: speeding, stealing paper clips from work, spitting on the sidewalk, burying hookers under your floorboards …

… you get the picture.

I myself would never speed, steal paper clips or spit on the sidewalk.

[Justin_Bailey]

@Antinor01

I myself would never speed, steal paper clips or spit on the sidewalk.

So how many hookers do you have buried under the floorboards?

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Jack_Batty

My annoyance is people who take the moral high road, exemplefying themselves over all other, regarding inconsequential things.

For example, 'twas quite a while ago, there was a thread about “Do you ever cheat on crossword puzzles?” There was no end to the number of posters who popped in to, rather indignantly, proclaim that they never – NEVER, sir! – look up an answer on crossword puzzles and wouldn’t deign to wallow among the miserable maelstrom of the cretin’s who do.

The same thing pops up with almost anything: speeding, stealing paper clips from work, spitting on the sidewalk, burying hookers under your floorboards …

… you get the picture.

Ah, yes, the inhabitants of Doper Land, where everyone has an I.Q. of 250, has a medical condition to explain their obesity, and always uses turn signals while driving.

[Chimera]

@Really_Not_All_That_Bright

I Like To Party With Generic Blonde Women went gold in six countries, and two of them were English-speaking!

I’m pretty sure it only went Copper in three of those. Perhaps you’re confused. Either that or the band is trying to pass them off as Gold since they kinda look the same in photos.

[Meyer6]

1. The ridiculous inflation of IQs, claims of super intellectualism, etc. Often accompanied by insulting comments about people who don’t read 10 books a week or people who dare to enjoy television (except for Buffy the Vampire Slayer type stuff, which is okay for some reason).

2. When someone asks for advice about something fairly general, like what brand of X to buy. Someone else comes along and says “I haven’t found X to be that good - have you thought about trying Y and using it like this instead?”. First person comes back and just flies off the handle, getting incredibly angry that someone would dare to suggest something outside the range that they had set out.

Yeesh, people are just trying to be helpful. I can appreciate saying “That won’t work for x, y, z reason”, but I don’t know why some people get so bent out of shape - just ignore it if it doesn’t work for you!

[elmwood]

1. The “one exception proves the norm” poster that MUST always chime in during a GQ question about a subculture, religious practice, or trait from those in a country, state or some other geographic region. For example:

GQ: “Why do so many people in Texas drive pickup trucks?”

Typical response: "I was born and raised in Texas, and live in a small Texas town, and I seldom a pickup truck on the roads here. In fact, whenever I leave the Lone Star State, I’m amazed at how many pickups I see on the road. I think I’ve seen more pickups in New York City than anywhere in Texas.
2) The overly sensitive offenderati.

RO OP: “Stealing Labrador Retriever puppies from the SPCA, impaling them on skewers, and cooking them rotisserie-style? Fuck you, you fat puppy killer!”

Typical response: “Why does it matter that the perp were fat? Are you implying that all fat people kill puppies and cook them on rotisseries? Fuck you, you fucking sizeist! Someone should impale you and serve you up for dinner!”

3. The collective belief that bsolutely everything in “Europe” (because Europe is one large country, after all) is better than in the United States; food, cities, people, popular media, culture, transportation, cell phone service, and so on. In fact, the United States is a backwards third-world country compared to the poorest region of Italy and Spain.

[elmwood]

@featherlou

Ah, yes, the inhabitants of Doper Land, where everyone has an I.Q. of 250, has a medical condition to explain their obesity, and always uses turn signals while driving.

250? I think you might have that confused with their penis size, in millimeters. The average IQ is only in the 180-200 range, depending on the test.

[Jeff]

Posts like this. A blind link to a Not-even-remotely SFW pic, and pedophile vibe to boot.

[atomicbadgerrace]

@Jeff

Posts like this. A blind link to a Not-even-remotely SFW pic, and pedophile vibe to boot.

To the OP’s credit, it was clearly labeled as “disturbing” – and while that’s not at all specific regarding why, it seems to me that “disturbing” clearly equates to “NSFW.”

[levdrakon]

@Jack_Batty

My annoyance is people who take the moral high road, exemplefying themselves over all other, regarding inconsequential things.

For example, 'twas quite a while ago, there was a thread about “Do you ever cheat on crossword puzzles?” There was no end to the number of posters who popped in to, rather indignantly, proclaim that they never – NEVER, sir! – look up an answer on crossword puzzles and wouldn’t deign to wallow among the miserable maelstrom of the cretin’s who do.

The same thing pops up with almost anything: speeding, stealing paper clips from work, spitting on the sidewalk, burying hookers under your floorboards …

… you get the picture.

Or people who have to invalidate your thread because they’re the exception.

“Why do women use tampons?”
First response will be:
“I’m a woman and I DON’T use tampons!”

Well how nice for you.

[elmwood]

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore [SIZE=“3”]I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION , sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION, totam rem aperiam, eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt explicabo I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION. Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt. Neque porro quisquam est, qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION, adipisci velit, sed quia non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem. Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam, nisi ut aliquid ex ea commodi consequatur I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION. Quis autem vel eum iure reprehenderit qui in ea voluptate velit esse quam nihil molestiae consequatur I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION, vel illum qui dolorem eum fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur?[/SIZE]

[pseudotriton_ruber_ruber]

@Roland_Orzabal

I must confess I don’t get the hatred for “This”. It seems like a logical extension of an everyday use of the word to an electronic format.

Q: What are you wearing to the party?
A: [Holds up suit] “This.”

Q: What will you be eating for lunch?
A: [Points at hamburger] “This.”

Q: What do you think about the issue?
A:
[Quotes poster with whom he agrees]
“This.”

Sure, “me-too” posts aren’t the most useful things in the world, but most of the anti-This folks seem to agree that such posts are fine as long as they don’t include the hated T-word, so that can’t be it. Is it just the word itself? Would a post that included no quotes and said “I fully agree with Poster Bob’s comment and have nothing further to add” be acceptable?

As for my contribution, there are really only three things I’d add to this list, and two of them are essentially the same thing.

#1 is starting a post with “Um, you do know…”, and #2 is pretty much any use of the :rolleyes: smiley at all. Both of these fall under the general heading of “making sure your audience is aware that you’re not just stating your point or making an argument, you’re being a smug dickbag about it.” They’re far from the only two ways to express this wholly unnecessary sentiment, but they’re easily the most common.

#3 is making the obvious joke. A perfect example would be to reply to this post by quoting the above paragraph and saying “Um, you do know that [whatever the fuck], right? :rolleyes:”, or quoting this part and saying “The obvious joke!” Nigh-inevitably, there’ll be something thrown in to let you know that the poster is reveling in just how terribly clever they are, be it a :D, a ;), or a “You HAD to know someone was going to do that!”. It’s not clever, it’s not funny, and unlike board-specific inside jokes it doesn’t even have any claim to being endearing.

I have to think that that last is what I’ve come to term an Escort Mission; ie, something that even though no one on Earth actually likes it (and the evidence bears this out), everyone continues to do for no discernible reason beyond a general sense that it’s expected. Am I wrong about this? Does anybody out there think genuinely find this practice amusing?

This.