If you would have answered my question the first (or second) time I asked, I wouldn’t have to ask you a second (or third) time to get a response, so don’t jump down my frickin’ throat for asking again!!!
mmm
My wife and I don’t have an issue with getting each other’s attention, but I had to comment on the above. I have to say that if we did have that issue, I wish that was the chosen solution. It would definitely get my attention each and every time. 
Unfortunately, what would happen next – each and every time – is that I’d then be totally distracted by BOOBIES and not able to concentrate on what she was saying anyway, thus defeating the entire purpose. 
My husband has this saying: ‘‘I don’t think you fully understand the significance of boobies.’’
You know, he might be right.
Reminds me of this comic. www. joyceandwalky.com/d/20100529.html
I guess possible NSFW if your work is kinda strict.
Women (or maybe just Mrs. Chef, I’ve been off the market for a long time):
You know those things men do that make you feel good? Like footrubs, or various other (non-sexual) types of physical affection? You like that, right? Gets your endorphins percolating, makes you feel attractive/loved/taken care of?
Would it be SUCH an impossible leap of logic to conclude that the person who’s doing those things for/to you might like you to return the favor? And as long as we’re talking about the non-sexual stuff, there’s an assortment of sexual stuff we (okay, “I”) do for you that you just plain don’t reciprocate. How, as you’re so fond of saying, do you think that makes us feel?
And women, if you’re about to reply that things are the opposite of how I’ve described them in YOUR relationship, well, that doesn’t invalidate my point, it just means you share my plight, so we should stand together.
I don’t get this one either. I always buy mens razors.
Bolding mine. This is too funny.
I don’t have any mini-rants about the opposite sex because I don’t automatically assume that my difficulties with someone stems from their gender.
Me, too! I will not be patronized by a wimpy little pink razor for my dainty armpit hair! I need a man’s razor, dammit!
Straight people in general:
If you’re whining about some problem you have with the opposite sex and how it’s because they’re totally incomprehensible/from a different planet, ask yourself: Can I conceive of a gay or lesbian couple having the same problem in their relationship? If the answer is “yes,” it’s probably not because the other person is the opposite gender.
Gotta say, even if that’s how you feel about it, definitely do NOT take your SO to see Eight Legged Freaks because “a fear of spiders is no big thing”. Trust me – you’ll never hear the end of it. 
Jane, you ignorant slut.
- Leaking toilets MUST be stopped immediately! We don’t have time to worry about your damn fluffy towels. Kill the leak! Plug the damn hole!
- Toast? In the sink? Ok you got me there. Shouldn’t be too hard for me to NOT do this. Maybe Capt. Caveman has hope too. Is that really how people in barns live though? I’ve got to see that! btw isn’t it enough we let you rub our noses in your wet gunk?
- Yes you are “on average” shorter then us. We likey too! If we’re leaving you in our trail it’s probably because we have things to do, people to see, places to go, Catch up. And don’t forget my beer when you get here.
All I heard was “mumblemumblemumble the vacuum cleaner?” Why? because you didn’t get my attention first. When I ask you to repeat it, repeat the WHOLE THING. Just shouting “THE VACUUM CLEANER!” is utterly useless, as well as annoying, because that’s the part I DID get. You are failing AGAIN to get across the part I didn’t get, because THIS TIME, you aren’t even trying. Helpful hint. It’s usually the first 3 words that the person missed, not the last 3. But if you repeat the WHOLE THING, you are covered either way.
My roommate (same gender: male) does this all the time.
See, those two things go hand in glove. We go sit through your boring-ass bullshit with a smile because we like being with you and want to make you happy. And we would like you to return the favor–to come do stuff we want, without pissing, moaning, bitching, whining, rolling your eyes, flopping around wanting to know when you can go do something fun, or otherwise acting like a sulky 5 year old.
Here I am, standing with you.
- and no, my dearest, it’s not the same if I have to ask you for the back rub/foot rub/head massage etc. There’s some subtle sense that you’re doing something that you might rather not be doing if I have to ask, as opposed to you just spontaneously doing it.
(can’t say that I’ve ever been with a man who reciprocated - you’re a rare breed IMO Chef Troy)
Oh, and yes indeed, that goes for sexual stuff too.
I help her shave her legs, too. I hear this is unusual.
I’ve even broken down and told her I might like a foot rub once in a while. She just said, “Oh, well, I just don’t have strong enough hands to do any good.” Why don’t you let ME be the judge of that, Mrs. Chef?
That doesn’t work so well when you’re walking to the car and I’m the one who has the car keys. You’re not going anywhere in that car till I get there, honey. And if you tell me to walk faster- well, I’d like to see how fast YOU can walk in heels.
Men seem, on average, to mind less than women do when they have to touch stuff with a gross texture, like the scunge that gets in the sink drain if you throw food in there. But for some reason, that doesn’t mean they clear the scunge out of the sink for us 
My youngest brother does have a case where he “gets dragged to the stores” and has no choice: when the items are for him and he doesn’t want to go alone or can’t be arsed buying it. Asking Mom to help you look for something means that you will visit every store in town (be grateful that she’s not one of those who don’t have enough with the stores in a 35K-people town and need to toss the .5M and 1M people cities nearby into the mix) and will end up spending a lot more than you would have; telling Mom that you want to buy curtains for the kitchen for a year and not getting around to it means that one day she’ll announce “we’re going to get your kitchen curtains” - and getting out of it would require divine intervention. On suits, the additional expense is likely to be justified; I recommend not doing it if you’re just looking for a freaking bar for the bedamned curtains that you already have. And at least the woman begins by going to stores of the appropriate type and checking whether they carry the kind of item you’re looking for, so for example when the bro wants a suit, she only takes him to “guys’ clothing” stores that do carry suits.
OTOH, dragging someone who is anti-shopping (me, for example) to a shopping expedition which does not involve their own bodies or eyes is Cruelty To Relatives, damnit.
emcee2k, she’s not blaming the whole gender. But some things appear to be done almost exclusively by members of one gender - that doesn’t mean every member of that gender does it, but it does mean that attracting the attention of people from that gender so they can check whether they do it and maybe correct it is appropriate. You know, sort of like calling someone’s name before you start a speech adressed to them? Some of the things mentioned are done by both genders and those have been pointed out.
Because cardinal directions allow the receiver of directions to more or less fix the destination on a mental map, even if some of the left/right directions are mistaken or misheard.
Also – when I’m trying to get directions over the phone to go to some store or doctor’s office or something, and it is located on the kind of highway (all too common in Florida metro areas) where you have to drive past all the strip-malls and office parks really fast and the address numbers (if posted at all) are almost impossible to read from the highway, and even with identified landmarks I might have to make u-turns several times to find it, it helps cut down my redoubling time if I at least know whether the office is on the east or west side of the highway. And women, even women who work in that office every day, usually can’t tell me that.
Go with boobies. Always works.