There really does seem to be a big difference between men’s and women’s brains in the “giving directions” department. I myself prefer “guy” directions, and after the best part of 40 years living in the same city I have a map of Melbourne firmly wedged in my skull with which to align them.
BUT - it is really easy for me to lose track of which compass point I’m actually facing, if I’m in an unfamiliar point of town. My husband never ever does this - he appears to have a compass built in to his brain. We can be inside a totally enclose building, no external windows, taken a number of turns to get there, and he can still immediately point to a direction and say “that’s north”. And I’m going “how do you DO that?”. And his reaction is “It’s obvious! How can you not know this???!”
I’ve learnt that “towards/away from the city” is a good compromise, given that many many women will look at me blankly if I start with the North/South thing. And I really hate full-on “girly” directions. ("…go on for about five minutes until you reach the Safeways. Turn round when you get to the hardware store…"). Aaaargh! We give streets name for a REASON!
Try turning the lights on and off, the work enviroment might have sounds that match the timber and frequency of your voice,so all the factory noises or the office doodads that go beep get tuned out, you might happen to be collateral damage for hearing loss.
Switching your ahem from aural to amplified light would get his attention swiftly, or if you want to have fun, put in a tape or cd/dvd and set the amp to eleven. Your voice coming out like the voice of god will also get attention, lol.
I have to stop and think about which way north is in my own house. Unless I have a map, I usually can’t tell you which way north is if I’m out driving. I know a few places reliably. However, when the streets are not running in the cardinal directions, I’m gonna need a compass. Really. Because I’ve only kept track of left and right turns, I absolutely have NOT kept track of north. I am not a homing pigeon.
It’s the difference between keeping your mental map fixed while changing your position and direction and keeping your position fixed while rotating and shifting the mental map, I believe. I recall that there actually is a statistically significant divide in men and women regarding this (men = former, women = latter), but I’m not about to go hunting up studies.
This part makes sense to me - and if I’m giving you directions in a place I know, I could tell you the cardinal directions. I know the geography even though I am not used to referencing that. Hmm, now I want to work on this.
In all honesty, I’ve used Google Maps for so long…I think the last time I asked someone for directions was about eight years ago! And with the proliferation of GPS, it’s been about that long since someone asked me. I bet my driving direction giving skills have vanished.
Can you remember which way the entrance is? I’m crap with compass points, but I’ve driven through some neighborhoods with really twisty streets and I tend to know “the entrance/main street is that way”. It’s like I have a good sense of direction but it’s not based on compass points at all.
And then you have people like me, who are used to fixed map but not to cardinal directions. At least American maps usually have North on top (unlike many European maps), so when I’m in an American location where people are used to cardinal directions it’s relatively easy to switch.
For example, in Barcelona the basic references are Sea, Mountain, Left and Right, and the map is oriented with the sea at the bottom. That means North points… lemme think… draws a pic… to the bottom right corner more or less. Here in Seville, most maps have North somewhere on the right side, near the top.
Yes, various experiments have shown that men and women do tend to navigate differently; men tend to go more by comparing their movement to a fixed reference direction, like north; while women tend to rely more on landmarks. For example, blindfold someone and lead them through a maze, and a male subject will typically have a better idea which direction is which and which turns to take to retrace his path than a female subject. Or, mark the turns in a maze with (for example) little statues for landmarks; remove the statues and women tend to do worse navigating the maze, while men don’t because they aren’t relying as much on the statues to navigate it.
Only if I’m concentrating. So if I’m driving or navigating, yes, usually. If I’m a passenger, not so much. And once I’ve lost my map points, I can’t regain them unless someone points it out.
Interesting corrollary - when we were visiting the UK Mr Aspy was completely wierded out by the fact that the sun was in entirely the wrong spot. He had to spend the entire trip going - “which way do I think it should be? Ok, go the OTHER way”. Made no difference to me, since I didn’t have an intrinsic sense of directin to lose!
Oh wow, so many of the female stuff bring back lots of mostly unpleasant memories of past girlfriends. Why any woman would want to drag along an unwilling guy when they go shopping for clothes is just baffling. I would just refuse to go most of the time, but as has been noted, it’s better to put up with 2 hours of boredom bordering on having toothpicks inserted under your fingernails, than risk two full days of domestic unrest.
My wife is absolutely lovely. I can’t actually think of any real complaints. I’ve literally spent a good five minutes, and I couldn’t really give a complaint. OK, I thought of one: the way she organizes the silverware is a bit odd (I go /knives/forks/spoons. She goes 'big silverware / little silverware (such as butter knives or coffees spoons etc). That’s about it tho…
I gave my wife a lot of foot rubs when she was pregnant, and still do now almost every day. No nefarious reason or ulterior motive, I just know she likes it, and she’s certainly on her feet a lot more each day than I am at work. She knows I don’t like shopping for clothes (hers or mine), so she does that for both of us most of the time. I do like looking at knick-knacks and such, so we do that together. If we go shopping we’ll look at some stuff together, then I’ll head out to a book store or electronics shop while she does her female shopping stuff. She occasionally asks my preference on clothes, I usually give it, she usually picks that one.
I like cooking. I don’t mind washing dishes. Hate doing both, so we have it split; whoever cooks, other person washes. Works for us.
I used to hate previous gfs expecting daily phone calls and such. I was pleasantly surprised when my now-wife not only never asked for it but simply didn’t expect it at all. Odd thing is - I find myself calling her just about every day, just because I like to hear how her day is going. Maybe because she really does just give me the high/low lights, without feeling like she has to give me the play-by-play of her trip to the supermarket or telling me how much carrots cost now…
I have a totally different method for finding my way around. I just figure out which way my gut is telling me I should go… and then go the opposite way of that.
One: Yes, you like me and think I’m cute, I feel the same. You say you need to know me as a friend first. Fine. Don’t go all “You need to trust me totally and be completely emotionally honest and open with me” on me. If we’re not a couple, don’t expect the emotional intimacy that comes with it. We’re already pretty damned close.
Two: Oh no, I was talking to one of your students on Saturday night. A student who, by random chance, went to the same grad school as I did (which is impressive when said school is 8,000 miles away) and did his PhD in something that interests me greatly. We were talking about his thesis and nothing else. Hovering around, and making sure you caught my eye and attention throughout said conversation is a little childish.
Three: Thank you for walking me to my car afterwards. However, insisting I call you when I got home is a tad excessive.
And on the non-ranty side: thank you for protecting/hiding me from creepy physics prof who keeps trying to rub himself all over me.
Just because I’m sitting next to you and therefore forced to listen to you, it doesn’t mean that I want to be hit every time you have something to say to me. I am also not interested in the breasts of the girl at the end of the bar that you want to bed, nor am I interested in your shitty singing or the size of your penis. None of these is going to impress me. And since you know I’m married (because you know my husband), you should know that any or all of these are highly inappropriate topics of discussion. My husband may defend you by calling you a flake, but what you really are is a creep. I now understand why you’re still single and can’t keep a girlfriend.
Well, its not like he walked up to me and put an arm around me, which I’ve known him to do in the past! It was more glancing over at me constantly, smiling and making sure he was in my eye-line. Oh and walking past me and and “getting” my bare arm with his towel. Sort of “I’m still here, you know”
If you don’t realize that toast doesn’t go in the sink, you’re stupid. If you do, but you put there anyway, you’re lazy. Neither quality is exclusive to either gender.
:bangs head on desk repeatedly: If we are not a couple, please don’t get all bent out of shape when another guy even mock-flirts with me whilst we dance in class. If we are a couple, please tell me.
I gotta tell you, what you’re describing here is setting off warning bells for me. I’ll stick up for the guys and say that this guy is not acting typical.
