Damn it, I just remembered the time that someone was scolded for using the “decorative” cloth napkins that were kept on the table, next to the plate, wrapped around dining utensils. I’m sorry, but that’s just all kinds of messed up.
Decorative things should not be “good” versions of utilitarian things kept in exactly the same place that the regular version of that thing would normally be found and used – includes towels, soap, pillows, tablemats, table napkins, and maybe more things I’ll think of soon.
I think that you and Anne may be talking about two different phenomena. I think she’s talking about the division between nice towels you wipe your hands/body off with, and the old towels you use to wipe up nasty things that stain them (or that you just don’t want to touch to your body afterwards). You seem to be talking about the irritating towels that are just supposed to sit there taking up space and not be used at all, period.
It’s possible, I suppose. If that’s the case, though, a toilet leak is just water and, possibly, human-origin yucky stuff, which is exactly what any towel is good for wiping up. It can be washed just the same as it regularly is anyway, so what does it matter which one is used? I mean, the toilet wasn’t leaking motor oil or something else that could permanently damage it, right?
I have a tendency to use any towels for anything, and have learned that things stain that you don’t expect to stain. The solution to this is to not use a good towel (or clothes) for something that might stain. A toilet leak might just be water, but you might also get rust on your good towel.
I suppose it could stain, and really, it’s just yucky. I just have a pile of old rags and such under the bathroom sink that I use for anything that disgusting.
Dave: That a new shirt?
Bob: Yep. Wife bought it for me.
Dave: Looks nice.
Bob: Thanks.
Dave: Felt real soft when I pulled that treble hook out of the collar.
Bob: I think it has a fairly high thread count.
Dave: I can tell from where it tore on the oar lock. So why did she get you a new shirt?
Bob: She said my old shirt smelled funny.
Dave: That new one smells a lot like fish eggs. Sorry about that, by the way.
Bob: No problem.
Dave: Do you think those grease stains from when you changed the boat trailer tire will come out in the wash?
Bob: … wash?
Ladies, please remember us men do not take causal hints…tell us what you want.
When we were walking around the park on the 4th and looking at all the stuff at the vendor booths, commenting “thats not a bad price” and “oh thats pretty” and then walking on, DOES NOT equal “I want that, buy it for me”!! If you wanted it SAY SO, don’t wait til we are back in the truck to to get pissed and say “you sure bought what you wanted but couldn’t get what I wanted.” You DIDN’T SAY YOU WANTED IT!! I will buy you anything your little heart desires if I can afford it, just say so!!:rolleyes:
Oh and don’t be so surprised at Christmas or your birthday when you don’t get the thing you HINTED at 6 MONTHS AGO! We don’t retain that information. When we ask you what do you want…don’t say “whatever” or “if you don’t remember what I showed you (6 months ago!) then its not important.”
Give us a list, preferably with store names and addresses, stock numbers, sizes, colors, the salesgirls name ( you know, the one that “she didn’t have a problem knowing exactly what I meant”).
Although I have learned over the years to keep a list in my wallet and make notes throughout the year as things are hinted at. (Of course then its the "well yeah, I said I liked it then but…) :smack:
I once heard the late SF writer L. Sprague de Camp, at a panel discussion at an SF convention, discuss a theory that some psychological differences between the sexes, especially in use of language, are hard-wired in our brains and go back to our paleolithic ancestors. We really haven’t changed much physically since our male ancestors were hunters and our female ancestors were gatherers.
Women: Stay in the camp, take care of the children, tell them stories, moderate their quarrels, work the men’s feelings when they come home – all requires a language of creativity and subtlety and nuanced perceptions. The language of poetry.
Men: Out hunting – requires a concise, straightforward, action-oriented language. The language of science and technology. Like (whispering), “All right, there’s the bison. Gurk and I will sneak around behind him, yell and drive him this way. Org and Glok, you wait here – when you see the bison come around the boulder, spear him! Hut-hut-HIKE!”
All that, if true, would also explain why men seem to be better than women at keeping maps in their heads – that’s much more useful for a hunter than for a gatherer.
It’s good you found each other. I think there’s more couples like you than most people think. One of the things I really like about my SO is we can swap the stereotypes back and forth with little friction.
We do that, too. Jim is usually easy-going and doesn’t have strong opinions on what we do or where we go, so I’m happy to make the decisions and get things going, especially since I usually don’t care if we go frontwards or backwards, as long as we’re doing something. If I sat back and expected him to always take charge and be the Alpha Male, we’d have a problem.
What we want is to be important to you. The stuff isn’t what we want. What we want is for you to put some amount of effort into the whole thing, to pay attention to what we say and like and would enjoy. And really, it’s not even that–what we really, truly want is to be important enough to you that putting in the effort and attention is a natural impulse instead of a tedious fucking chore. Wanting a detailed list that saves you as much thought and energy as possible is the absolute antithesis of what we want.
If we’ve had a big shouty argument, and you tell me that OK, you’re no longer mad at me, but you need to cool down a bit, finding me when you have cooled down is generally a good idea. Else I’m still going to think you’re a little mad at me.
You can’t complain thar you hate shopping and then complain that everyone rose has nicer clothes than you. Pick one other the other. And then stop complaining. I’d shop for you if I could just to stop your complaining but you’d never like shat I would choose.
What’s unfair is that you get to decide “this means I’m not important enough to you” based on your sex’s standards of how to make someone important. Doing it your way is so unnatural to how our brains work ghat it literally can become like emotional torture.
