We want to be at least as important as sports stats and vehicle information. If a man can remember sports stats, and can express an opinion about a 1964 Triwheel Gokart as opposed to a 1970 Quadwheel Gokart, especially about the relative performances, then he IS capable of remembering things. It’s just that he apparently places a higher importance on remembering sports and vehicle stats than he does on whether his wife prefers milk or dark chocolate.
This bit here is what makes things a challenge. A guy remembers what his lady said she liked and wanted months ago, just to find out she changed her mind and doesn’t want it anymore. Is it great that he remembered? Sure, but I can understand him not wanting to do that if that’s what happens. It could be used as a general guideline of what she likes, but depending on the woman and the item, that won’t go well either.
Some things are pretty broad and easy to get right (preferring milk over dark chocolate) but others aren’t (jewelry, scented lotions or perfumes, clothes).
Ladies, going out to eat is (for us, anyway) an occasional treat. So go ahead and order what you want. Yes, the waitress will be impressed that you ordered the spinach tofu quiche salad, but if you wind up not liking it what’s the point in going out? Forget the diet for one night and order something you’ll like. I like french fries and we seldom have them, so I’m ordering them. When I do, you’ll tut-tut at me for ordering that and a greaseburger but guess what? You’ll wind up eating 1/4 of my fries like you always do. So go ahead and splurge when we go out. And order your own damn fries.
Sports and vehicle stats are of explicit provenance and importance. They can be looked up in a book. When there is a new statistic, record, or feature, it is trumpeted throughout the media and social channels. They are constantly reinforced through daily conversation, news, etc. And there’s no punishment if you get it wrong; you simply get a correction. If you’re unsure about such stats, you can ask somebody or refer to your manual or encyclopedia. All that is key to making them rememberable.
So, if you want your preferences to be remembered, don’t hint, be explicit. And when I say explicit, I mean explicit. “I like that color” does not mean the same thing as “I want that thing in that color for my birthday.” They’re as different as hits and RBIs. And reinforce that preference. And help him make a reference guide to things you want. And amend it when those things change.
But…but…but… I DID put alot of effort and attention into picking out that see-though teddie and thongs at Victoria Secrets and trust me, it was a natural inpulse and you wearing them is VERY important to me!! 
But no really, what I mean by details and specifics… my wife can buy me clothes, its easy… jeans, 34x38 Wrangler 13MWZs, just walk in, there are 20 pair on the rack, they are all made the same…pick a pair, they will fit me. Shirts, 16 neck, 35 sleeve or XL… it will fit. Womens clothes oh no…( and I know thats not the womans fault and y’all hate it too) you want a pair of jeans, it means you trying on 3-4 pair to find the one that fits right. Don’t expect ME to be able to get them unless you tell me exactly what brand, style, cut, size ( unless you want to go through what I have done before…“here they are, I know they won’t fit, heres the reciept so you can exchange them, but hey I thought of you and got what you wanted”).
And unless you give me details, we don’t see colors the same… its blue to me… not teal, navy, indigo, sky, royal or any of the other shades you can think of.
holy smoke, how tall are you?
That’s still not the point - even if it’s something we no longer want, the very fact that you remembered it in the first place means more to us than the stuff you get. In fact, many of us don’t really want stuff. All we want is some sort of indication that you understand what we like or what we want. And us spelling it out explicitly doesn’t always work.
For example, every birthday, every Christmas and every anniversary since we’ve been married, my husband has said, “overly, what do you want?” My response is always the same: “I want to come home to a clean house and dinner on the table. If you want to get me something longer term, hire someone to come in and clean the house for a few months. That’s what I want. I don’t care what you make for dinner as long as I don’t have to plan what we’re having, buy the ingredients or cook it and clean after it. I love Chinese takeout, Indian - hell, if you don’t have time, just make me a peanut butter and jelly. Please don’t get me more stuff.”
The response is always, “Well, I don’t know how you want the house cleaned. And what should I get you for dinner? What if I get or make the wrong thing? And if I hire a cleaner, we need to clean first, so can I do that later? Or maybe you should talk to her first and do a walk through so she knows exactly what to do.” I seriously don’t give a shit how the house is cleaned. And as long as the cleaning person isn’t a psychopath and kleptomaniac, I don’t care whos doing it. The whole point is that I don’t have to. Plus, it’s not what you’re making me for dinner, it’s that you understand that every damn day, I decide what we’re eating, cook it and try to clean up after it. Just once - one day a freaking year - I don’t want to have to think about it.
Obviously, individuals always come with personal baggage (see above example); however, I think it’s accurate to say that for most women it’s not the stuff that matters. It’s the effort and understanding. Many of us ladies work full time or manage children all day, then come home to cook and clean and pass out late at night after having made most of the household decisions and done most of the work all day, much of it based on what we know you want. It’d be nice to know that just once you would do the same for us. Obviously, your mileage may vary. If you’re one of those rare individuals who take on the lion’s share of the household duties, all the above is probably moot. But if your wife or SO is doing it most of the time, I imagine the above applies in spades.
This might fit better in the other thread, but this seems like a good place to stick this in – I can’t stand it when men complain about having to get gifts. It’s not rocket science.
Earlier this week I bought a box of chocolate covered cherries and a card with cartoon bears for our anniversary and the smile I got in return made my evening. It can’t get any easier than that.
I’m 6’1", not really all that tall, but long limbed.
This bears repeating. If you are male and you cannot:
- orient yourself to the compass without visual cues,
- remember the number of streetlights along a route you have traveled more than once,
- quickly and concisely explain your current location to the driver of your car using only a paper map,
then you lack the abstract spatial reasoning of a normal, healthy adult male.
Deduct 20% of your man points, and shorten your big boy pants by 6 inches.
Indeed you must be. I’m also 6’-1", but my inseam is only 32"
“I’m hiring a Maid For A Day on my birthday this year, and it’s going on YOUR credit card. This is your best present to me EVER!” 
Overly, aren’t you the one whose man didn’t do anything for you for Mother’s Day, after you explicitly asked for a plant? He sounds like… not a very respectful person.
I’ve done this. Another one I’m fond of - a couple of years ago after an insane amount of discussion and decision making I got a Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, Happy Valentines Day, Happy Mothers Day, Happy Anniversary crazy expensive camera. Every subsequent holiday that it was supposed to cover he gave me a picture of my camera. 
Not me, though I did have a somewhat disastrous Mother’s Day last year. I was violently ill in transit from North Carolina to home that day and arrived to find that he’d totally forgotten it was Mother’s Day. The house was a disaster area, there were pizza boxes everywhere and when I got upset, he said, “So, do you want me to take you to dinner for Mother’s Day? I didn’t think you would want to do anything.”
I was kind of emotional (being pregnant and having the stomach flu while traveling courtesy of a kid vomiting on you will do that to you) and I didn’t want to have to be the one to decide what we were doing. Plus, he had never asked if I wanted to do something for Mother’s Day or not and, while it would’ve been nice to have had someone do something for me, I don’t want to be the person to suggest it. It’s like saying, “I think you should tell me how great I am.” Of course I want to hear that, but I want to hear it not because I asked, but because he thought it and wanted to tell me.
My husband is a respectful person, but he’s forgetful and he procrastinates. And when he’s presented with a big job, he gets overwhelmed and doesn’t know where to start. Instead he makes it a much bigger job. Which is probably why he never cleans the house. To me, it’s fairly simple - put stuff away and scrub things. To him, there’s much more involved.
For example, when I look at something like the bathroom, I think, “Okay, I’ll pick up any towels, scrub the sink, the shower and the toilet. Then I’m done.” He thinks, “I’ll pick up any towels. But then I’ll have to put them away. Well if I put them away, I might as well wash them. Then I’ll have to wait for them to dry. When they’re dry, I’ll fold them. When I fold them, I’ll put them away. Then I’ll find the cleanser. If the closet is messy and I can’t find it, I’ll clean out the closet. To clean out the closet, I’ll pull everything out, sort through it, recycle what needs recycling, throw out what needs thrown out, rearrange and organize the stuff, put it back, then go upstairs with the cleanser. But wait, what cleanser do I need? Should I buy special cleanser?” and so on. He’s seriously done this before - I think I asked him to put away the stuff in our entryway. It was just maybe 5 pairs of our shoes, a diaper bag, a car seat and some of those plastic grocery bags. We wound up with the contents of several closets strewn around the house because he was putting away shoes, book bags and various other items when he realized the closets were a bit messy and he couldn’t put things away in a messy closet.
He’s not a dolt or anything - I love him dearly and wouldnt’ have married him if I thought he was unintelligent or a jackass. But he’s really, really clueless sometimes.
Do not, while facing away from me, wave your had vaguely at the opposite hemisphere and say, out of the clear blue crystal silence without any context or entry, “Bring me that.” and then become upset when I ask you for some narrowing, say, down to this continent at least?
Do not get irate when, while I’m under the house in the most remote corner of the crawlspace and wedge in so tightly that Houdini would have stood by and just given a long low whistle of admiration, or bent over the fender of the car with oil and grease smears on my arms right up to my cheekbones, or precariously perched upon the penultimate step of the tall ladder reaching for the corner f the cornice to daub a bit of paint , as a result of you calling me calling my name for the 3rd time and me having cheerfully answered back, “yes?”, then “yes, dear?”, I yell “WHAT?!” Do not pout and then say you never pay attention when I call or that I have embarrassed you because the neighbors heard me yelling. Consider that you too have legs and could convey your self corporeally towards me at least if probably not more easily
DITTO… okay… why in god’s name do we have to have THAT TALK when I want to get some sleep? And god help a man if he falls asleep during it. Why can’t you turn your brain off at night and just address that shit in the AM. As for the current wonderful lady…thank you for your wiring… ;>
Oh my god… your husband is just like me when it comes to cleaning.
I’m sorry you had such a crappy Mother’s Day, but glad that your man is generally a good one!
How is it any less fair than bitching about how we never tell you precisely what we want, then bitching when we tell you exactly what we want because it’s tooooo haaaaarrrrddddd?
"You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The paradox consists of the fact that, when we fall in love, we are seeking to re-find all or some of the people to whom we were attached as children. On the other hand, we ask our beloved to correct all of the wrongs that these early parents or siblings inflicted upon us. So that love contains in it the contradiction: The attempt to return to the past and the attempt to undo the past. "
This is one of the best ideas Woody Allen ever put into any of his movies.