I went through several mental images of what the hell an “airplane ride” could be before it dawned on me you were talking about an actual airplane.
I mean, I thought I was up on sex acts, but that’s a new one on me.
I’m OK with airplane rides, but when she wants to play “helicopter” with it, I know I’m in for serious pain…
Oh, you were being literal… real airplane rides…
never mind…
Women who work in my office: Don’t get playfully-hostile-but-we-really-mean-it, or make force-feeding jokes whenever you see me standing in the vicinity of a sugary treat. Also, don’t tell me that you’re fat. I don’t know what response you’re looking for.
Christ on a cracker, ladies, you cry when you’re mad, you cry when you’re sad and sometimes you cry when you’re happy! Why??
Oh, yeah - if you want your husband/boyfriend/SO/whatever to do something for you, don’t get mad when he doesn’t do it if you haven’t explicitly provided information on when you expect it to be done. And don’t re-do it if he actually completes said task, even if it isn’t to your satisfaction. If you have a huge problem with the way someone else does something, either let the other person know how you’d like it done (nicely) or do it yourself without bitching.
Don’t complain about your husbands doing/not doing whatever, then stand there looking at me expectantly. I’m not going to whine about mine.
- I like him, and don’t really have many complaints.
- If I did, I’m not really the type to voice the complaints to a bunch of people I don’t really know anyway.
I hate being put into a pigeonhole because I’m female. No, I don’t want to look at bridal gowns, I don’t want to read Brides magazines, and I don’t want to coo over an immature specimen of Homo Sapiens.
I will smile and make approving noises about my friend’s newest grandchild, but I’m only doing it to be polite. I really don’t like human babies! I only really loved my own baby, and I’m pretty sure that’s from the hormones kicking in after a couple of days of breastfeeding. Don’t hand me that baby, I don’t want it. Give it to my husband, he’ll hold it and be happy to do so for a while. Don’t just assume that since I’m female, that I WANT to hold it, and especially don’t assume that I’ll be happy to hold it for you while you eat or go potty or go have a smoke. And I don’t want to watch over your toddler, either.
And my husband is perfectly capable of filling his own plate at family gatherings. He does it at home. I don’t care if YOU fill your husband’s plate for him, but MY husband is a (mostly) competent adult, capable of making his own decisions about what he wants to eat, and how much of it.
Oh, and since everyone ate at the family gathering, but the women did just about all of the cooking and serving, I think that the men should take responsibility for all of the cleanup, instead of either playing a game or watching one on TV.
Ugh, our family does the same. The worst of it is that it’s the women who perpetuate this tradition! (The male relatives don’t even realize that it is a tradition. Holiday feasts just magically happen while they are standing outside smoking).
Oh, I think you know - you’re just not willing to play that idiotic game.
Even if I give the obvious “expected” response, things just don’t go well. I’m down to fleeing in silence, which is also bad…
In the same vein, ladies, man-bashing is just reverse sexism. If it’s not ok to say about a woman, it’s not ok to say about a man.
PS - to Hollywood and the tv commercial makers, I’m looking at you, too.
Fellow men, watching sports does not make you manly. Playing sports might. But you don’t want to actually play sports, because most of you all are lumpish and lazy-assed. And I don’t really care. Just don’t expect me to not call you out on it when you imply that my utter disinterst in your boring fantasy football/whatever sport blathering is somehow “unmanly”. 'Cause we both know better.
Also, stop trying to chat me up in the bathroom. You are permitted to clear your throat or cough to let me know you’re present. Maybe apologize, if you’re particularly flatulant. Under no circumstances are you to describe how big a “log” you’ve laid.
Just answer, “Why, bless your heart.” Florida is close enough to “the South” that they’ll understand what you mean.
Guys: I have no problem if you don’t feel comfortable using the urinals because you have a need for a larger wall separating yourself from other weenies syndrom. But if your going to piss in the toilet for the love of god lift the god damn seat so you don’t piss all over it and if you do piss all over it clean it off.
Stop. Acting. Stupid. When. You. Aren’t.
It’s fucking annoying and though it may impress some pitiful man it’ll probably irritate ten more.
Also, teenage girls: please try and stop hating each other.
I forgot one thing.
Stop denigrating other women in an attempt to be a cool, X-box playing, converse-wearing, ‘one of the guys’-type-chick.
I do mean this. It’s annoying and lame.
This. I hate how every straight male is instantly defensive (over something only going on is his head anyway) and has to tell you that all his attention in life and every fiber and atom of his being is focused on sticking his pin-dick in The Cooze[sup]TM[/sup]. Really? In a society where only an estimated 3-10 percent are gay, you feel a need to remind me at every turn that you’ve managed to fuck a chick?
Attention fellow XY’s:
Unless you have the body of a Greek Adonis (and let’s be honest, very few of us do), do not take off your shirt. Nobody wants to see your hairy, sweaty man boobs and beer gut.
That never makes me think they’re straight, btw. It makes me think that they doth protest too much.
Gentlemen, you are wearing about $10,000 worth of power suits between the three of you. I happen to know at least one of you has an Ivy League education. So when an attractive woman walks by and you literally stop talking mid-sentence, mouths agape, and then start jostling each other and making reference to how big her “rack” is, it makes me wonder how our species has ever perpetuated itself. I’ve seen high school kids act (slightly) more maturely.
Also, your penis won’t fall off if you drive in the right hand lane. Trust me.
Ha, that applies to nurses too. We get together… “let’s go out… get away from work, and hubbies, and kids” and talk about patients and their shit.
ugh
Actually I would like to get on board with this one as well.
Slagging off other women doesn’t make you look ‘cool’. It makes you look like a bitter, lame misogynist with mommy issues.
If you like to watch sports and fix cars and hang with ‘the boys’ be my guest, but slagging off other women just makes you one of the bitchy, petty women you claim to be complaining about.