Dear Amazon, after buying something from your “Amazon Marketplace” individual sellers, you want me to rate the experience. Fair enough; good feedback helps ME in the long run by allowing you to weed out the bad actors. However, when you give me a button that asks whether or not it came within the right time period and whether or not its condition was as advertised, I run out of things to say.
The relationship that I want with your sellers can be completely distilled into these check boxes. When you ask for a star rating, my criteria (it came, it exists, it’s in the condition advertised) dictate that I give the seller 5 stars. You’ve already asked me to give redundant information.
But then, to not allow me to successfully submit this feedback without typing 300 characters of text starts getting me irritated. On the occasions wherein the product was mailed the day after I ordered it and showed up in my mail a couple of days later, that’s a good thing, and I’ll mention that. But what the heck else do you want? The seller didn’t pack the DVD in a box full of colorful tissue paper, sprinkled with perfume, didn’t tie it up with a shiny bow, and did not drive cross-country to sit by my doorstep, waiting for the mailman to deliver it, so as to ensure that it got to me in time. The seller also did not provide any pro bono sexual gratification. What do you want in those 300 characters???>?
Also, Ms. VoiceMail at the pharmacy, I am vastly superior to you, at least until SkyNet goes active. When we have a conversation, you may NOT refer to yourself as “I.” That’s reserved for sentient beings. Instead of, “One moment while I check your prescription,” you might say, “Your order is being verified.” You may not speak in the second person, because that is reserved for us, your human overlords.
And where’s my damn bluetooth headset? If anyone knows, please advise.
And stop blaming HDTVs for the financial meltdown. They’re one of the few things that were actually worth what people paid for them, and if you’re castigating people who are more than $100K in debt, the HDTV is about 1% of it. Okay; blame it on SUVs, blame it on excessive bling or overusing text messaging. I don’t know what else, but stop with the HDTV hate!
And, hey! Financial pundits! Stop saying that Americans were caught up in easy credit and spending more than they earned! A good fraction of Americans were rather irresponsible with their finances, and they should be rightly culled from the herd, but a good fraction of Americans have no debt or minimal debt and live within their means. We’re already a little pissed off about having our taxes prop up these morons’ lifestyle, while we continue to live in sensible housing that we can afford (either renting or owning).
And stop saying, “Today the government bought out the outstanding debt of a bank we are not at liberty to identify.” Say, “Today we enabled a mismanaged company to avoid a fire sale, so the managers who made it implode can calmly strip it of its assets, while we make everybody and their future generations pay for it.”
And I can’t find my damn iPod shuffle, and what genius came out with these friggin memory cards that are like 1x1 cm? What’s the matter? Stamp-sized SD cards weren’t small enough?