Hey there, Velveeta has its uses. It is good for grilled cheese sandwiches. It is also good for macaroni and cheese.
Egg nog should be abolished for the love of the future generations.
Clearly, you’ve eaten too much Miracle Whip and have gone insane from it.
Come now, sit with me and have some Kahlua-and-bourbon laced Eggnog. It’s quite yummy. After a few cups, we won’t care about sandwich condiments any more.
:eek: :eek: I give up. You’re beyond hope.
I really can’t let that kind of blasphemy go by unremarked.
Eggnog and rum is wonderful! So is eggnog and brandy, eggnog and bourbon, eggnog and Irish whiskey (hmmmm…I’m detecting a theme here…).
Do you have to drink the Eggnog with booze in order to stave off some kind of bocilism (sp?)
I like Miracle Whip and Velveeta. Not together. In fact, I prefer Velveeta over real cheese. I like to think of it as freeing the cows from enslavement, et al.
Finally, a voice of reason. Except that I enjoy real cheese in almost everything that I did not mention a few posts back.
A plea for sanity: c’mon, everyone knows tofu is the REAL sperm of Satan.
Tofu is the sperm of Satan.
I think we can all agree on this.
Satan’s Sperm Tofu . Kinda has a melodic ring to it.
First time I’ve done this:
BAND NAME!
My birthday is on January 6 so I know how you feel. Fortunately, my parents were pretty good about getting me gifts. They only screwed up once when they waited until after Christmas. When they went to go buy some toys, they discovered that most of the stores were closed for inventory and re-stocking. Now my dad was born on Christmas day, and even though we always bought him a birthday gift wrapped in birthday paper, he still got screwed.
Back to the OP… Fuck you, Amazon.com for your screwed up inventory system. Not only are the items I ordered not in stock like you claimed, but they sure as hell didn’t ship within 24 hours either. Thanks for not updating the status to “available after Dec. 24th” for 2 weeks so the stuff I wanted was, by then, sold out in every local store. How could you bastards be out of World of Warcraft 4 weeks before Christmas?? I want to shove my Amazon.com credit card up your left nostril and twist it hard.
Thumbs up to EBGames.com for having World of Warcraft in stock and getting it to me the next day even though I used standard shipping.
Come on. Everyone knows that Velveeta is just nasty. 
People who give us Xmas/B-day babies “one gift for both of them” and then wrap it in fucking Christmas paper. I had to beg for some B-day wrapping on my B-day presents.
I bet your parents don’t think you’re 100 % serious about this. If you were my child, I wouldn’t.
If the gifts come from Wal-Mart just return them.
I pit “The Christmas Song.” You know, the one that goes “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…” There’s nothing wrong with the song itself, but why, with all the thousands and thousands of Christmas songs out there, does it have the nerve to call itself “The Christmas Song”? How presumptuous is that?
I hate the Christmas gift tags that give you about 1/4 inch in the “to” and “from” spaces to write the appropriate names. Give me some space I can work with!
And to those of you in charge of the Christmas turkey: Learn to make gravy or don’t cook the bird. My sister-in-law’s gravy is, to paraphrase Lincoln, as thin as soup made by boiling the shadow of a pigeon that had starved to death.
What in fuck’s name did I do with the three Christmas cards I bought last month? Did I accidentally throw them away? They’re not among the papers on my table. Grrr…I just know I’ll find them on December 26.
My mom’s birthday is in December, and my Dad beat it into me to never wrap her gift in Christmas paper. Mom always made a point to give separate gifts in birthday paper to December babies. Apparently a young cousin (born Dec. 21) once announced at a family party that her aunt (my mom) was the only person who ever remembered her birthday.
We were going to a birthday party last week, and I was adamant that the gift not be wrapped in Christmas paper. Not the snowflake stuff, either. Nor the green. Normal paper. My other friends laughed at me.
Now I feel justified.
Damn right! Anybody who has any sense whatsoever knows that this whole holiday season is really all about the gravy. That’s why the whole season starts with Thanksgiving which we all know is really National Gravy Day.
Thank you, BobLibDem for daring to speak up. Won’t somebody think of the gravy!
Oh, and Miracle Whip is the sperm of Satan. Velveeta is the sperm of his twin brother, but it’s good when you melt it with canned chili in the microwave and eat it with big corn chips.
My sister’s birthday is the day after Christmas and I always make a special point of wrapping her birthday present (yes, I get her a separate BIRTHDAY gift) in Birthday paper. Just so’s you know.
May I be the first to pit the time honored tradition of Christmas Cards?
Sending out cards to people you never see, never writing a little ‘blurb’ about the family and how they are, just a sterlized wish for a Happy Holiday. Could we show we care a little bit less? How automated the card sendee become every December.
On the flip side, the people that we see all the time; the people we truly care about, we have to send cards to and sign it with Warm Wishes and other nauseating phrases that we would never say to their faces. And we include pictures of our kids so as to make them feel obligated to sally back a round of generic cards with picture du-jour.
It is all like some sick sadistic game started by Hallmark.
Bastids.
While I like getting cards with notes & pictures and updates, it still gets my goat.