Minty G., If You've Got a Minute.....

The BBQ Pit
1

Howdy, MG! Here, lets go sit on the breezeway. Sit down, take your shoes off. I’ll go get a couple Shiner’s.

Flame? Oh, hell, no. Nothin’ like that, I just don’t understand. I mean, if I had to make a list of the posters I was least likely to be talkin’ to like this, say, the most unlikely 10, you might well be on it. And yet, here you come, with a burr under your saddle about “rhetoric” and all.

Now, pardner, you know I’m a partisan, right? This isn’t news, or nothing. I come by it honest enough, first walked a picket line when I was three. Always been on the conservative wing of the extreme left. Tend to think Jim Hightower’s a bit wishy-washy sometimes, but I’d take a bullet for Molly Ivins.

Got no qualms about it. Not in the least. Only line I won’t cross, I won’t deliberately speak a falsehood. Short of that, all bets are off. Rhetorical devices, sarcasm, heavy sarcasm, weapons-grade sarcasm, bring it on. I damn sure ain’t delicate. As Mr. Twain points out, humor is about the only way you can preach without running the risk of boring your audience or getting’ hanged. Guerilla theater, guerilla rhetoric, gorilla my dreams, all fair in my book.

You’re bout done with that one, get you a nother’n? No? Some icetea, maybe? Got some home-grow over there by the divan……Well, all right then, where was I……

Well, I mean to say, look at the durn thread! Got several “schmucks”, a number of slurs of various kinds, several out and out nasty ass comments, and you climb up my butt for “magilla” and “Bushista”? You know, you might have hurt my feelings, if I had any. Well, I just thought it was a bit unfair, is all. Hell, dodn’t happen again, then it never happened at all, the way I look at things. Just wanted to clear the air, is all.

Dallas? Well, down this road about six miles, past the big oak and the house with the mean-ass dog….wait a minute? Dallas? You live in Dallas? Hell, son, if I’d a known that I would have been more sympathetic. Damn. Sure you don’t want to twist one up for the road? Its about three hundred miles, a good couple hours at least. Well, all right then, suit yourself. Dallas. Lordy.

We still on for fishing come Sunday? Aw, skip church, Lord don’t mind.

2

Linky loo? L to the ink? Captain Linkster of the Linketyville Police Department in Link Province of Linksylvania?

3

The only thing more annoying than a pointless rant is a pointless rant with no link.

Rant scored in the negative numbers, as folksy barefoot “this is not a flame” chat sessions do not belong in the Pit, but in MPSIMS. Please read the Forum descriptions next time, E.

4

In that case, have you ever considered that “weapons-grade sarcasm” implies a certain level of quality? :smiley:

5

Link (our little tiff is on page 2, though page 1 is helpful context).

I ain’t all that pissed at you, 'luce, and I think I already explained why I was short with you in the other thread. Rhetorical flourishes certainly have their place in political discussion. But when the flourishes become a substitute for the discussion, I tend to get miffed no matter whose doing the flourishing, and I figured I’d see if I could snap you back to terra firma.

No big deal, no hard feelings. 'kay?

Besides, “Minty G.”? Now I’ve got my gangsta rap name!

6

I disagree. I thought the rant was a refreshing change. Just because this is the pit, don’t mean everything has to be turned to full volume.

7

Well, hell, I guess I was bound to screw this up. Truth be known, I’m not sure how to link within SDMB, just how to link to articles and stuff. But its the one about Scott Ritter, who, it turns out, is an asshole.

I posted to the Pit cause that seemed to make the most sense, I didn’t realize I was required to flame. Boy, sure is a good thing we got folks minding the proprieties, Heaven knows what might happen otherwise. So OK.

(ahem) MG, your mother reeks of elderberrys. Best I can do, I’m not all that pissed off.

Now how about you Yankees get yer butts off my porch!

8

(booma-chicka, booma-chicka, boom boom)

He’s bad Minty G., but he aint a real Texan
Just an’ Iowa-boy, can’t get no erection

(booma-chicka, booma-chicka, boom boom)

Glad we’re all cool, says the Bad Elucidator
Gonna plant you now so’s I can dig you later!

Pretty fly for a white guy!

9

Um,“Yankees?”

You aren’t exactly deep south ya know. If nipples is a euphimism for Minneapolis, then perhaps you are deep southern Minnesota, but you still qualify as a Yankee too, there, you.

Yankees indeed.

10

Wow, it’s like being flamed by the narrator from “Our Town”!

Except for the pot reference.

11

GrandMaster Mintay!

12

particlewill if its any concern of yours…I mean to say, if you give a rats ass, and Lord knows why you would…

Born and raised Waco, TX. Quiet little town, you never heard of it, nothing ever happens there. The Athens of the Brazos. Home of the feared and dreaded Baylor Bears.

People I dearly love talk exactly like that, and I do too when we’re talking long distance. The rest of the time, I just more or less blend in with these people who have funny accents.

Been living in MN for a long time now. It’s just as awful as they say it is. Don’t move here, you’d hate it. Cold as hell, except for the summer time, and what can you do in two weeks? Mosquitoes that carry off toy poodles and the occasional infant. Stay away.

Cream of mushroom soup is a food group, and Garrison Kiellor is funny! Stay away. Don’t move here, esp. if you’re on one of those coasts. You’d hate it.

13

Iowa was only a three-year scholastic vacation. I’m as Texan as anyone can be without being Baptist.

14

A Texan? Minty Green? Aw, hell, just when I was getting all primed up to leap to the defense of a fellow Iowan. Now I find out he is one of those mere foreigners who got an education at the expense of the poor suffering family farmer that the legislators from the Farm Bureau keep ranting about.

Incidently, as I understand the Representative from the Farm Bureau, the only people who pay taxes in Iowa are poor suffering family farmers. They pay their taxes with federal farm subsidy money so it all works out in the end.

What are you two fighting about?

15

The one benifit of Minnesota/North Dakota winters.

It frightens away the Texans…

16

Well I did go to school at the expense of the fine taxpayers of Iowa, Gelding. Of course, I also insured my car and apartment through Farm Bureau, so it all worked out in the end. :smiley:

17

I just re-read my last post.

Me fail english? thats umpossible!

18

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