You guys! It’s that Beloved Holiday Tradition and War on Good Taste, the Miss Universe pageant’s National Costume event! Let’s judge them shall we?
My favorite is Miss Tanzania, but Miss Angola is pretty eye-popping.
http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/2012/12/miss-universe-national-costume-2012-part-1.html
I was born on Guam…and for the first time in many, many years I have a yearning to return. 
Shouldn’t Miss USA have been sporting low slung jeans with a bit of a muffin top, Ugg boots, a North Face fleece and some tats? Or am I few years out of date? 'Cause I haven’t been to the mall lately, but I’m pretty sure I’m not going to see anyone sporting torches and glittery plumes.
That’s a dildo and French ticklers, Dude. America, Fuck Yeah!
Me gusta, Nicaragua! Especially compared to Uruguay, whose outfit was apparently based off a mall kiosk’s rack of bling stickers for cell phones.
Guam is quite curvy compared to the average beauty queen (but still quite normal-sized for a woman). I dig her look a lot. I’m not being catty, to forestall any bitchery. She looks great! I’m just not used to seeing beauty pageant competitors who aren’t grasshopper-thin. yay =)
El Salvador was my favorite. I hate the honking ridiculous headpieces. El Salvador’s flower is classy, and her outfit looks delightfully understated in comparison.
I didn’t know the Jetsons live in Tanzania.
Guam. The zen simplicity of the costume, and her magnificent thighs.
Why is the Belgian wearing a flamenco dress? Has she confused two different kinds of flamenco*? And why isn’t she wearing a mantilla? That dress totally needs a mantilla, plus lace is a typical Belgian thing.
Flamenco (Spanish) = the dance/music; Flemish; flamingo.
You can say what you want about Miss Brazil, but at least wearing her flag in feathers-on-her-ass form as part of a Carnaval costume makes the country instantly recognizable.
There is what seems to be a complete photolist (sadly in “click a thousand times” form) here. The Spaniard doesn’t seem to be able to decide whether she’s the Queen of the Tenerife Carnavales, a Molino showgirl, a Flamenco dancer or a little girl who wants to grow up to be a ballerina. I guess we should be grateful she doesn’t look like the Drag Queen of the Tenerife Carnavales…
Sri Lanka is the clear winner. Love it!
Belgium didn’t even try. It looks like she just went through her closet and said, “I haven’t worn this in a while.”
Malaysia looks like a movie villain. In a good way.
El Salavdor was just a pretty dress. Ditto Poland.
Botswana looks like she’s about to enter a cage fight.
I can’t tell what Tanzania is supposes to be, but she looks like a wine rack. Whatever it is, I like it.
I also like USA’s. I think her costume is the lovechild of the Statue of Liberty and a peacock.
Ooh, full list. Gah, I hate slideshows (people of the internet, stop already!) but will suffer through this because I love costumes. Why can’t everyday be Halloween? Anyway.
China might be my new favorite after having seen the entire list.
Indonesia and Thailand are close behind.
What was Honduras all about? She’s dressed as a snowflake in a bikini. How much snow does Honduras get again? None?
South Africa’s costume was awesome, although I’m not sure what it’s all about. Cool to look at though.
Canada dressed as a bunch of flags from other countries? Uhh, okay.
Was Denmark dressed as a fish?
I love that Bahamas dressed as a pirate. I think The Ukraine was a pirate too? But with a fuzzy hat.
Mexico. Very, um, busy. Panama, Peru, and Mexico get the I’m Going All Out, Bitches! prize.
So now you all know what I think of the costumes.
Nah, she got drunk in Vegas and woke up in bed with the Tropicana Hotel.
I love the smile on Miss India’s face. “Saris were invented for this. Can you believe what these other clowns are wearing?”
I like how many included staffs as accessories. Especially Ms Hondorus’s crazy sea-horse staff. I always thought it was unfair that wizards were the only people that got to use staffs in their wardrobes, so its nice to see them make the leap to the fashion world.
I think she’s just a little mermaid.
Yup, she’s rocking an awesome attitude in that - “worship me from afar, insects” indeed.
Is that not Cher? I’m sure that’s Cher…
Hey Greece, Narnia called, they’re missing the White Witch!
”Elf Queen of Loth-Israel!” ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR.”
Here’s the second page from TLo - I love those guys!
http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/2012/12/miss-universe-national-costume-2012-part-2.html
“We just weren’t feeling it this year, here’s a flag.”
I would watch - and pay good money for - them to do a MST3K-style commentary track for the pageant.
They did last year as well. Fewer snow queens, more birds. France didn’t phone it in this time. I kind of wish they would have.