Are you speaking of a self correcting, portable word processor? That would be a marvelous thing indeed. May I suggest adding a small piece of solidified sap from a particular tree to one end, so that lest the user make a grievous error, it can be eradicated before anyone else is made aware?
Well, shit.
Cartooniverse, I think you should call it Norman. Mind you, it doesn’t compare to my invention. This invention will change the very nature of commerce and transportation. First one finds a largish flat stone of smooth sides and constant width. Then by using a hammer, one chips away at the outer edges of this stone until they are in a smooth arc all the way around, in the shape of a circle. By attaching two of these to a suitably strong tree branch and placing two of those arrangements on the underside of a wooden platform, you have what I like to call a Quadrilateral Platform Axle Array, and it is capable of – get this – rolling items of large mass over the very living Earth!
welby, your latest post reminds me of that song, “Detachable Penis.” Just sayin’.
Well, at least it didn’t make you think I was going blind and growing hair on my palms.
Well, since we’re discussing animals and anuses (band name!!) – I’ll throw in with something many of you, and certainly Rue, has experience with. The dreaded anal gland of the pooch.
:: This is your last chance to stop reading if easily oogied ::
Indoor doggies’ anal glands tend to clog, leading to the dreaded butt-scoot. When I was a mere lass, and had delusions of veterinarianhood, my mother thought it would be good training (and less vet bills) if I, Ellen, the aspiring vet, were to rid poor Tara of her excess anal-gland goop. Fresh from reading the collected works of James Herriott, who spent his entire life with his arm in a cow, I complied, thinking how much easier a life I had, squeezing doogie behinds, than Herriott, always asking for a bucket of warm water, soap and a towel, please. So I did it; ejected the goop and ended the butt-scoot. Repeatedly. All through Tara’s life. But there it ended, for Calculus I ended any delusions of vethood I might have had–so I became a writer instead.
The End.
Now … new gulping toilet installed, we’re ready to move on to New Dishwasher. Remember me saying I live in a new house with no projects? I lied. Non-working Mass Produced Builder Installed Appliances are out out out and Ellen and Hubbie Selected, Primo, Pass the Heft-Test Appliance are in. As we can afford them.
Great. Now I’ve got a partner. -deep sigh- I was hoping to be the only solidified sap in this fine young enterprise.
Here. Sign here, initial here, here, here, there, here and prick your finger, dropping a single bit of blood here, and there. See? Easy !!
I offer you .014% of gross profits plus your face appearing on all billboards and advertisements.
You know what is worse than being nervous about getting together with someone?
When that someone doesn’t show!
Gah. So, far she is almost 20 minutes late.
Thanks everyone for heart-healthy cooking ideas. I’m passing them on.
Mika’s really really busy at work right now so doesn’t have much of a chance to post. 
I’m leaving work at 12:30 and getting on a plane to see **KeithT **at 3:25! Woo! It’ll be so nice to get away for the weekend. Some crap has come up at work that is stressing everyone out (not so much me since it’ll happen after I move to be with KeithT, but I still feel bad for them) so a little time away will be good.
Have a great weekend ever’body!
Tupug’s TMI story, while certainly gross, actually made me laugh with the images I had in my head. Oh the look on POLC’s face. The horror!
Maybe it’s a good thing I’m allergic to cats and dogs. Then I don’t have to worry about anal glands and constipation. Yarg!
I’ll take 25% of the profits, and forget the billboards (but I’ll keep the print ads )
Bailey has had the extensive operating to get rid of Feline Urinary Disorder. He has become a girl. It was great fun- we’d just gotten married, we both lost our jobs, and then the cat needed $2000 worth of surgery. :rolleyes:
Aerin gets infected anal glands sometimes, although damned if I’m going to clean them.The vet does that. Bailey has a mysterious black goop buildup inside his ears that we saline and swab once a week or so. The vet doesn’t know what it is. Not mites.
Today I’m going to trot around downtown a bit. I will go to strange Chinese and Korean bakeries and buy random things. It’s a form of relaxation for me.
Ooh, ooh! Yesterday I made something very yummy and super easy. I put about two pounds of scrubbed little potatoes in the crockpot, added maybe two cups of cauliflower, poured 1 jar of tikka masala sauce over it, and cooked it for five hours. It was good. In retrospect I should have used fresh cauliflower, because the frozen stuff sort of dissolved, but it tasted great.
That sounds yummy!
We have a few random Asian markets not far from where I live, and I think about doing that same thing - just wander around and buy randomly. I never do, though. Why is that?
Maybe I need a foreign market buddy. Too bad Lissla’s in Canada. That’s kind of a drive for a Saturday at the supermarket. 
We’ve got a cute little orange cat coming to the vet who’d better stop getting plugged up or he’s in for one of those amputations. It’s not a Good Deal for anyone.
If you ever find yourself in Cincinnati and someone says to you: “Hey! Let’s got to LaRosa’s and get some pizza!”, just say “No”. Be polite about it and all, but don’t go. The sauce is pretty sweet, but it’s what I grew up on, so I don’t notice.
Also, stay away from Skyline. (And Gold Star and Empress and Fort Washingtom Chili. Just stay away from Cincinnati chili all togther.) It’s called “chili”, but it ain’t. It’s all weird and sweet. But, again, it’s what I grew up with, so it seems good to me. (I had three Skyline cheese Coneys for dinner last night. With onions and mustard. It was good.) (You might know “cheese Coneys” as “chili cheese dogs”, but around here: “cheese Coneys”.)
Oddly, it’s been a pus-free week. We did have this little doggy come in for surgery yesterday and there was this teeny little lump on his chest that had to come off and sent out for a biopsy. The surgery went fine (took about three minutes, tops) and even though we ran a pre-op panel on the little guy and that came back fine (only it didn’t “come back” since we ran it “in house”) he WOULDN’T. STOP. BLEEDING.
It wasn’t like he was gushing blood, but he was drip… drip… dripping blood <i>all day</i>. He wound up needing a transfusion. Finally the bleeding stopped, but the Head Vet took the little dog home with him overnight to keep an eye on him.
There were two other surgeries yesterday too. One was a spay and I took the blood for that pre-op and I sunk the IV catheter, which was the first time I set a catheter. I had some help for it, so it’s not like I soloed, but I got the job done.
And then when she was waking up from surgery she flailed about some and pulled the IV line out of the catheter and so <i>she</i> was drip… drip… dripping blood. But just for a minute til we got <i>my</i> IV catheter out and her leg bandaged up.
Oh, and when she was getting knocked out for surgery she got a sedative injection and it just took hold of her real fast, so she dropped off quick-like. “Wow, she went down faster than a co-ed at her first frat party,” I said. Because as long as there’s no client around, we can talk like that at work.
The third surgery was a spay too. That dog was <i>the exact same weight</i> as the other spay of the day. (But, like 10 times the weight of the other dog with the bleeding problem) How weird is that? The exact same weight.
The only thing odd about her surgery was she had fleas.
Expressing anal glands is great fun! All pet owners should do it! (As long as your pet is a dog or a cat. They both have anal glands. I’m not sure what other pets actually have them, so if your pet is one without anal glands, don’t try to express them. It could go badly. Even <i>more</i> badly than actually expressing the anal glands of a dog or (worse) a cat.)
This is the first chance I had to check out this week’s MMP. I read the OP, and then just the last two pages. I feel I’ve let everyone down a little.
-Rue. (still here in spirit)
Proper coding is for the weak. (Like National Health Care.) I didn’t really need italic type anyway.
scout, I’d be your foreign market buddy, if I wasn’t halfway across the country.
I think with animals you have to expect all kinds of gross, disturbing things. It’s just their nature. And it’s their nature that it will happen after the vet’s office is closed.
I took my cat Sunshine to the emergency vet a few months ago (she was fine, I was just being overprotective). Anyway, she had had surgery to remove bladder stones a couple weeks before, so when she vomited several times in a row one night, I got nervous and brought her over to the emergency vet. It was around 10 pm, which is prime emergency vet time, so I had to wait. It was also very stormy out. About 1/2 an hour after me waiting to be examined, the power went off. I stuck it out for another half an hour, and just as I was thinking of leaving, they called me back. They took her, and injected her with subcutaneous fluid. In the dark. By flashlight. Oh, and where they did it? There was no room available, so they had a cage - with a dog in it - that they covered with a blanket, and had Sunshine on top. Amazingly, the dog was quiet, Sunshine was calm, and it all worked out in the end.
I’d also like to say at this point that I have a new addiction. I am totally in love with the TV show House. How did I miss this for so long? The actors are all excellent (and sexy as hell), the lead actor is snarky, funny, and has the best blue eyes in the world. I can’t stop watching. I started renting the DVD’s from Netflix on Monday, and by yesterday I was so impatient with the turnaround time (1 day), that I went out and bought the season 1 set last night. I watched 4 episodes last night. I am royally hooked.
Susan
I knew you’d come through for me, Susan. Danged geography!
I haven’t seen House, but you sound like me and Six Feet Under --I am still awaiting season 6.
Love Nate Fisher! (and the rest)
Off to pick up #1 daughter from school for doc’s appt. Had to fight with school bout getting her. The doc appt was changed, after she went to school, so she didn’t know when I was picking her up. Her text messaging doesn’t work; we are not allowed to call on cells, so how to let her know?
The attendance office wouldn’t pass on the info because, “I answer phones all day and there are 3000 students here.”
huh?
So, I talked to a Dean–same thing. I had to insist that they consider this a family emergency.
Hey, I get that there are alot of parents and students etc–but shouldn’t they have a way to cover this type of contigency?
:rolleyes:
Almost done with part 1 of my grad school app!
I’m sorry, Lissla, the individual words all seem to be good English, but the sentence is totally incomprehensible.
The temperature last night was -16°C (3°F), and it’s now a balmy 2°C (36°F). Isn’t our local weather fun?
Welcome to the club, susan, we’ve got jackets. But yeah, I got hooked last spring. IMO it’s the only show worth watching anymore, and it’s just fantabulously amazing. Just wait until you get through the second half of season one. Hoo-wee. And season two has just been astoundingly good. Yay for House!
Hey! Where’s Drae? Haven’t seen her either.
Today has been busy.
Last night the hubby and I went and saw, shoot, I can’t remember the name of the movie. Anyway, it’s the one where the Lycans and the Vampires are in a war of some sort. Something …Underground? Yes, I could look it up, but I’m too lazy.
Today for lunch I went with my friend to the Dining facility her husband runs. I had prime rib, rice, vegetables and soda for $3.50. I could have had shrimp, but I think that was way more than enough.
Sean, that was a very cute joke. However, the Steelers are still going to lose. I’ve decided the Hawks are winning and you’re just going to have to deal. 
I made decision for my award. I told our admin asst to tell the old boss that I’d like it presented in front of my division. I dunno, I still feel kind of weird about the whole thing. I don’t know when it will be presented.
Hoo boy! Am I glad it’s Friday!
Excellent–no hiding your light under a bushel and all that.
Re the chili upthread: I don’t like chili. So, the temptation to eat it will not occur with me, under any circumstances. I don’t like bean (except for green beans).
Need to get ready for my Robbie Burns Dinner tonoc. I’m skipping the whole tartan thingy this time–I am in somewhat of a funk re work–and my funk starts the evening prior to. I am glad to have a fun thing to do, but really just want to get this weekend over with.
Turns out #1 daughter has a nickel allergy.
#2 now has new glasses–did not go back to LensCrafters, so it took a few days.
Need to iron my uniform and get my stethie, forceps etc ready for the am.
Beautiful day here, again. Oh, and we are looking into flats in London to stay in–some are so gorgeous! I’m gettng excited about that.