rigs: Pins and needles, baby… I know the place. Tomorrows supposed to be icky/rainy and cold like today. That’s jeans and hooded sweatshirt weather, so look for that.
Today’s the day that apparently my wife forgot that I exist. She gets up and gets ready for work before I do. She has a train to catch all the way into the city, whereas I have a <1.5 mile drive to work. As soon as she goes out the door, I ruffle whatever cat’s neck is closest (usually Cuervo), and roll out of bed.
This morning, I’m on the throne, look right and see…the last two sheets of toilet paper. Yeah thanks babe.
I do some contortions to reach the cabinet and find a roll and get that all out of my system.
Next up, start the water for the shower, climb in, get the head all lathered and rinsed, reach for the soap. And find a sliver. No, sliver is too generous. I could almost see through this thing. See, honey, sweetie, dearest - when we use the last of the soap, we are considerate and leave another bar of soap there on the top of the shower door, remember? REMEMBER???
Of course, you all have figured out by now that when I got out of my quasi-shower and reached into the cabinet where we keep the towels, there were none. We’ve got to have more towels than Linens & Things, what with the new ones we bought when we moved, the old ones we brought with us, and the Child’s stash from school that’s now mixed with ours since she’s home for the time being.
The only towel in sight is the still damp one from my wife’s shower.
Maybe it’s the Cloak of Invisibility I accidently slipped on today?
rigs, it’s too late for me on the PowerPoint thing. I’ve been exposed for too many years.
bumba, Daisy has a cook book if you watch the show for a bit and think you like her recipes.
And you are right, they don’t say “just cause there’s snow on the roof doesn’t mean there’s no fire in the furnace” for no reason.
li-li, sounds like you did good on the bed. My last mattress and box spring was over twenty when we finally broke down and bought new. That was WAY overdue. Somebody said be sure to flip your mattress to make it last longer. What I heard was first you flip head of mattress to foot of mattress, then completely over, and then head to foot again, then over. I’m not sure how often but at least once a year.
Well, presentation is done but now I gotta print a gazillion press releases that all say the same thing…Cancun’s beaches are all restored. :rolleyes:
I know my parents don’t have sex. I think the last time they had sex was 1981. Still, I have no guarantees, as I was adopted, but I presume they must have had at least a few good years.
They won’t get divorced, what a taboo in our society! But I think mom is hoping for dad to kick off. And I can’t help it, I love Daddy best…I’m always going to be Daddy’s little girl.
Hi, everyone! It’s Thursday and the boss will be taking off Friday and maybe this afternoon and maybe Monday. Woohoo! And then it’s only another week and a half until I’m off to Vegas - I’ll be flying from Albany International (what an oxymoron) on the 26th, returning June 3rd. We’re also flying to LA, be my first trip ever to the West Coast.
Oh, forgot to add this - Lissla - is it one of the Ikea foam mattresses? We got one of them in December, and it’s great. I was looking at Tempur-pedic, but hoo-eey, are they some serious money? We rolled all over one of those in Ikea and ended up leaving the store with the bed, a couple tall bookcases and some sheets for around $300-$350.
“Today must be Thursday. I never could quite get the hang of Thursdays.” - Arthur Dent
YAAAYY DOT!!!
I’m glad the show went well. What play is it, anyway? What part do you have? Standing ovations are fun. And you listen to your doctor, you heah?
Now, I have a slightly more ponderous matter to address with you all. I’ve been thinking – no, wait, don’t reach for your hazmat suits just yet – about my potential to be creative. As you all know, I’ve been doing Puns of the Day every weekday for two and a half months. That’s 55 puns (counting tomorrow’s). That’s a lot of punnery. And it’s a very regular schedule. I’ve been coming up with each day’s pun at midnight. Sure, some of them have been later, due to sometimes not getting back to my room until after midnight, but I’ve never missed one. Not once.
That said, the puns are going on hiatus next week. At first the reason for this was strictly practical: I’m going to Buffalo on Sunday to visit a friend, and I won’t be back until late on Wednesday. I won’t have consistent internet access in the interim. But now there are about 1.73628 more reasons why next week is a pun-free zone. See, I’ve been reading through all the archives of a webcomic called RealLife. Bottom line, it’s hilarious, and right up my alley. It has stuff on video games, politics, annoying things about everyday life, computers, time travel and other physics, all in a deliciously self-referential style. Oh, and swords. Can’t forget the swords.
So, I got to thinking (you may now reach for your hazmat suits). If I can come up with a pun every night, surely I can do something more on the level of this webcomic. Consider it this way: it’s essentially the same style of humor (I’m not just a pun machine, contrary to rumor), only in dialogue form and with some drawing involved. Ay, there’s the rub. I can’t draw to save my life. Literally. If someone were to sit me down at gunpoint at a drawing desk with pens and pencils and colored pencils and markers and proper illumination and everything, and say, “Draw something or I’ll kill you,” I would die. That would be the end of poor drawing-ability-less me.
But I want to branch out. I’m not sure how yet to do this, which is one good thing about taking next week off: I can brainstorm some options. I’m also quite open to suggestions, if any of you guys have some ideas. To what end do you think my talents would be best suited? One thing I probably will do, at the very least, is change the way I do the pun of the day. This dictionary entry format is cute, but it’s getting old. So it might take the form of a fake news article, or a bit of dialogue or something, different from day to day. Or maybe even gasp some poetry. I realize that’s a stunning concept, but I think it just might work.
For now, however, the format remains unchanged:
I’m sorry, but “parents” and “sex” don’t belong in the same sentence. :eek:
I will address the last sentence first, brainiac…"Boy! Ah, say, Boy! Did ya think that one through all the way to the end? :dubious:
As for your musings on the puns, we will miss them severely. No, really. But let the creative juices flow and surprise us. We can do poetry…long as the words rhyme up nice like.
Spats, I think you can be every bit as funny as Greg. And you can find someone to draw you five basic characters and then cut and paste. I mean, it’s hard to draw dimensional doorways and time machines and the Sky Captain parody was probably difficult, but the rest of it’s not exactly da Vinci, now is it?
May I be the first to point out that I am someone’s parent (three somebodies, actually) and I HAVE SEX. I know. You go lie down now. Here’s a cold cloth for your head.
You know, I guess I haven’t been paying attention. I thought you were C&P’ing those definitions from some Cute Thing of the Day email that you got. I’m impressed! They’re very good! Of course, I’m all into cute and fun puns. But mine are limited to once a week, when I do an e-newsletter. My favorites are for promoting our podcasted programs. Example headline: Postcast Away!
I know for a fact, after me, my parents didn’t have sex . . . with each other. Dad had a ‘goomah’ and mom dove into her art
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Li-Li** - happy sleeping. (we all thought you meant matress when you said “new bed” - but hey, new frame and stuff is cool too)
**Dottie ** - glad everything went smoothly. Remind me to one day tell you of the fiasco that was opening night of Harvey (the same night NBC decided to show the first half of The Godfather on the Friday Night At The Movies)
**Swampy ** - how nice of you and sis to honor your brother (and by extension, your mom) that way. Made me sigh.
**MBG ** - your wife’s a guy?
**Spats ** - I look forward to your future webcomic - I’ll subscribe. May you could do an illustrated ‘pun of the day’ thing
May I whine a little here? No one has said anything about this post
Oh, that’s just cause we’re brats, rosie. It reminded me of my old days. I used to do college summer theater and actually met the Freshman Freakin Idiot there.
It was a good post, rosie. Young love is so complicated and stressful. Fun, but stressful.
Mr. Lissar and I have been pointing out to each other excitedly how big the bed is. We had a double until last night, and a queen size is a huge improvement. The mattress is spring and polyester padding, I think. It was very comfy. I personally like mattress that embrace me lovingly when I lie down, and this is a little bit firmer than that, but I didn’t wake up with an aching neck the way I aways do when sleeping on super-soft mattresses.
So it’s good, and the sheets are all dark red and pretty! I think in a month or so I’ll get the red pillowcases and white sheets, so I can do a contrast thingy with dark grey duvet, deep garnet red, and white.
Today is rainy and gray, but there’s a nice wind. I should clean the bathroom, clean up the kitchen from yesterday’s cooking explosion, and dump and scrub the litter box. Then I go to work. I’ve got lots of chocolate cinnamon buns left, so that’s probably what I’ll be eating all day.
Rosie I thought your story quite poignant and moving. TA is indeed deserving of his title. There’s never any need to act childish. An ex (the one who thought life would be so much better with somebody else, but it wasn’t HAH!) tried that after he left but all he got from everybody was “grow up.” Last time I talked to him he was extremely unhappy in his current situation. HAH! Gloat? Moi? HAH! Anyways, if he’s so childish as to resort to names, then you know and everybody who knows the both of ya knows that you are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better off without that one in your live. He’s a definite TA.
Dots good luck with the show and do what the doctor tells ya ok? AIR, you are doing “Sweet Charity”, right?
Spats AKA Rifty I, for one, have enjoyed the puns. Nevertheless, follow your muse so that we may be further amused. Who knows, maybe you’ll become a rich and famous comic strip writer who will support us in style when we retire.
Follow up on TA’s story - a few years ago he got an attack of the OMIGAWD-I’M-ABOUT-TO-TURN-40-AND-I’M-STILL-SINGLE!s and went on an online dating service, where he met a gal who was going thru the same thing (she must have been - she chose him) They got engaged without ever having met IRL and married the following December. They moved into an apt in her mom’s house where mom ruled and there was no discussion. He bought into the whole thing and was happy to be needed - to mow the lawn, and fix the sink, and patch the roof, etc etc etc. I believe that in a few more years when he is no longer able to be Mr Fix It he will wake up and realize what a crap marriage he is in, and then he will regret his choices - and he will run into me somewhere (I will have lost all my excess weight by then, and I will look stunning) and he will whine to me and apologize for everything and I will get to say Go Freak Yourself! (no, I’m not vengeful )
I often used to imagine myself stepping over my first boyfriend (The Jerk, as we call him) as he begged me for spare change and I ducked into my stretch limo. I realize that’s not going to happen, but it’s still nice to dream on occasion.
