(MMP)Triple step, triple step . .

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

. . .rock step, and the arm goes up, the lady turns, rock step, triple step, triple step, rock step. VERY GOOD!

That’s how it’s supposed to go when you’re learning how to swing dance. That’s the first move, the basic steps, baby, that’ll let you become the next Fred (Or if you’re a lady, Ginger). Unfortunately, when you have the co-ordination of Herman Munster on the downslope of a 4 day drinking binge, the result is different, and most often involves icing down injuries and doing of lot of apologizing. Me and Herman, soul mates.

Don’t let that deter you, though, you still have the chance to get a free swing lesson RIGHT NOW! That’s right, using my ability of near perfect recall, I’m going to give a lesson right here in the MMP! Let’s get going:

Ladies, pick a man. Good. FCM, thanks for being my partner.

Now, gentlemen, present the lady your left hand, not the whole hand, just the ring and index finger. Laddie, grip the hand gently, good, there’s a reason for this that we’ll cover in our next lesson. Men, put your right hand on her shoulder blade.
Higher.
Higher.
That’s still her ass Exgineer.
Good.

Now, the first basic step will be a triple step starting on the left foot for boys, the right foot for ladies. Remember to take baby steps. Ready? Okay, GO!

Triple step, triple step oops.

Okay, sorry about that FCM, why don’t you sit down for a second, your toes will be fine in a few minutes. No, no I don’t think they’re broken. I’ll need another volunteer.

Let’s try again.

Triple step, wow, Ellen, open toed shoes were probably a bad idea. Looks like my shoe scraped right across your toenail there. Man, that must really hurt. Take a seat next to FCM and wait a few minutes. Volunteers? Ah, thanks for stepping up Taters.

Oh ha ha ha, Taters, I hardly think Tupug would shove you out of the line to make you look like the volunteer.

Men, take the ladies.

Now then, triple step, triple step, rock step, the arm goes up, the lady turns. Aw geez Taters, sorry. Should have brought my foot back. Let me help you up. Yes, I’ll be more careful. I promise.

Now lets. . . EXGINEER put your hand on her SHOUDER BLADE! HER SHOULDER BLADE DAMMIT!!

Okay, let’s try it one more time.

And triple step, triple step, rock step, the arm goes up, the lady turns, rock step, we bring her close and . . .

Taters, it doesn’t look that bad, really. I think my forehead just gave your nose a glancing blow. Right, I’m sorry, shouldn’t have been looking at my feet. What? Okay, you’re right, my feet are the most dangerous thing in the studio. How about that, you were concentrating on the known danger and totally missed the unknown one. There’s a lesson in there somewhere, ha ha ha! Hey, ah, Swampy, Rue, can you get that chair away from her? Watch it! There we go, thanks fellas. She’s a quick one, isn’t she? Exgineer, I think you guys will need to get yourself a room.

Let’s try it again.

I’ll need another volunteer. . .

2

And that’s why I never took dance lessons. Good job, welby. Glad to see that the stories I heard about 'cha weren’t exagerations.

3

Have these people been talkin’ about me?

It all lies. LIES!

Unless they’re saying nice stuff.

That’s all completely true.

4

Ummm… welby? donkeybear, jayjay, gotpasswords and me are wondering if we could partner up. Is that ok? It’s just that we don’t get the concept of dancing with women. Do people really do that?

Swing dancing makes me dizzy. I get all swimmy headed everytime I try. I may faint so my partner might have to catch me.

Oh, and I’ve met Taters. She’s much to much a lady to hit you with a chair. However, she’s not above kneein’ you in the groin. :smiley:

5

welby, very well done. Now, maybe you should sit down, somewhere out of the way, before those ladies are able to get back up!
I went to the Handmade Christmas Fair in Sequim, WA on Saturday. I actually made money. After covering the entry fee, the ferry ride to and from and lunch, (oh and the fudge, I can’t forget the fudge). I made $69.75! That said, I only sold 4 things. I sold one large piece of stained glass, two painted canes, and one sun-catcher.
I stayed with Hubby’s folks Friday night, but headed home as soon as the fair was over. I didn’t feel very good while I was there, but over all, both hubby and I are much better.
He still hasn’t gone back to work. The doc seems to think he needs to wait until he no longer throws up when he coughs. I agree, but I’d like our normal life back, thanks.
I’m going back to bed for a while. It’s just 5:30, so I don’t feel too guilty.

6

Swampy, you can team up with whomever you like. One of you has to lead though.

To answer your question, yes people DO really dance with ladies. Or so I’ve heard. Apparently, I’m only capable of injuring them.

7

You forgot the part where I accidentally crush her instep.

And where the hell have you been anyway, jackass?

8

I’m not sure if I should be mortally offended that I was not asked to be trod upon or relieved that I have use of all my limbs…

Cold as hell here and I have a list of errands a mile long (a furlong long?).
Enjoy your day!

9

Well, I suspect that you did not dance rigs because you helped puggy push Taters out on the dance floor. Don’t think I didn’t notice that. I hear Bobbio and Rue are quite the quick steps out on the dance floor. Let’s see what they can do. Hit it boys! Why don’t y’all want to dance together? You make a cute couple after all.

10

Swampy, it’s been my experience that gay men make better swing dance partners, so if welby won’t let you dance with one of the boys, I promise not to try to take advantage of you or accidentally touch you with any of my girly parts.

I believe I have packed everything in my house that there’s not the slightest chance I’ll use in the next five weeks. Either that, or tomorrow I’m going to realize I have to reread some book by somebody whose last name starts with A, and I’ll be stupid enough to pull forty (yes, I counted–forty-two, actually) boxes out of the closet to get to it.

But I did finally throw stuff off the balcony! (And just in time–it snowed Saturday night.) It was every bit as satisfying as I’d hoped. Thus far, we only did boxes full of light garbage and a lamp or two. But I’ve got not one, but two non-functioning air conditioners lying about the house. That’ll be some good throwin’. Or I’ll have to find a big strong man to carry it down to the dumpster the traditional way, ‘cause I sure as hell ain’t doin’ it.

11

Heh, maybe I should dance with welby. I am proof positive that white people have no rhythym. We could step on each other’s toes! It’s cold here, too, but no snow. It was 28 degrees F. this morning. Goose Girl’s (youngest daughter) nose was red by the time we got to her room! Oldest daughter, (haven’t thought of a nick for her yet) went straight to the cafeteria with her class to have b’fast. Hubby and I got some hot chocolate and went home. I know, we have an exciting life! Other than the Longhorns winning, I got nothing for the weekend news, either.

Less than three weeks 'till Christmas, y’all. :smiley:

Sneezy

12

welby that was faaaaaaaabulous! My hat is off to you sir…even if I didn’t believe in you afore.

taters honey, I would NEVER push you out of line like he said. Honest! :wink:

Well, got the Anachi Tree up yesterday. No, that’s not some new holiday what needs to be celebrated by alien half-breeds. It’s just OUR particular Xmas tree. I have to say, though, it went up kinda half fast. I normally do it the weekend after Thanksgiving but was overwhelmed by relatives this year so it hadda wait a week, hence, not my best work.

Now I gotta work on puttin things unner it. :stuck_out_tongue:

On preview, I must say drae that Mr. Swampington best have some really long arms to miss somma your girlie bits. :smiley: Hey! Ouch! I keed!

Tupug

13

Long time, no see, Mr. Welby! It’s just no fun without having you around riding Exgineer’s ass, so to speak.

14

Drae, a word of advice. It is probably not a good idea to heave air conditioners off the balcony. I mean, sure they make a really neat sound when they hit bottom but it’s still kinda dangerous. I have actually danced with many women in my life. Whenever I go to stuff like wedding receptions where there’s a band or dj (and an open bar) I dance quite a bit. All these women who can’t get their husbands to dance just love me. I’m guessing even the husbands love (or at least sorta like) me too cause their wives won’t be buggin’ 'em to dance.

Last week I said I had a doin’s at my house on Friday. It was actually on Saturday after I hawked butt-ugly Christmas ornaments that afternoon. The cheesecake got eaten. It was good. Actually there were two cheesecakes. ACBG baked another one while I was off hawking aforementioned butt-ugly ornaments. I have cheesecake to eat tonight. YAY! Tomorrow I head off for Detroit for the rest of the week. It’s really cold and snowy and stuff there right now, so I hauled out all my wintry stuff to take with me. I actually own an overcoat, gloves, scarf, hat thingy, the whole nine yards just for such occasions. I still don’t know what possessed me to agree to do this, but agree I did so go I must.

15

Did not! I was spiking the punch.

Are these boys wearing plaid pants when they dance? (hope not)

16

Only donkeybear. :smiley:

17

I’ve done a lot of things in my life that weren’t good ideas at the time. :slight_smile: But yes, it is kinda dangerous. I wouldn’t even consider it normally, but the area below my balcony is Devoid of Human Presence–except when somebody is back there to pick up something they just hucked off their balcony. I’m more concerned with having to cart air conditioner pieces to the dumpster and with the possible murder of some grass. People don’t even sit out there to sunbathe in the summer.

But alas, you’re right. As fun as it would be to toss the air conditioners over, I should probably get them down to the dumpster the conventional way.

The kitchen chairs, though–they’re learning to fly next weekend. :smiley:

18

Tough to crush the instep with Swing Dance. The toes, however, and the random tripping ankle, these things are routine. . .

Guess I should go ahead and fill you all in.

Mainly, I’ve been busy. Too busy to Dope? Sometimes. Too lazy to renew my subscription is a better description. I’m a bad, bad man.

I got my real estate license in November of last year and went into business with my uncle. Since I’m one of those cautious planning type people, I kept my full time network geek job too. The market here was insane, and I probably could have gone full time right away, but the nagging question of what happens when the market gets back on its Lithium prescription kept me working full time. I’m glad it did, because the housing market not only found the Lithium, but is apparently mixing it with alcohol and Valium.

So I’m into work at 6AM, out by 3, then go to our office and put in my time sending mailers, following up with potential clients, and doing other real estate related stuff. Then I get home and do other stuff. So I’m still busy.

But, I missed you guys. I can honestly say I stopped in and browsed the MMP faithfully, but wasn’t feeling very verbose, so I lurked. And lurked. And lurked. And then I saw that Rue was off partying somewhere, so I figured it was time for me to do my part for the MMP.

So here I am.

So nice to see you all again. And nice to see the new folks.

But the nicest thing is that sneezy wants to volunteer to be my partner.

Here we go:

Triple step, triple step. . .

19

Welby!!! Where have you been?! I haven’t seen you around in ages! Glad to see you’re back. No, I won’t dance with you, but more for your protection than mine; I don’t know how to dance.

We got snow Saturday night. I am MOST upset; I’ve never seen this much snow so early in the season, and it does not bode well for a mild winter. I’m starting to think that I need to move someplace where it doesn’t snow.

20

If you’re welby’s partner then it goes… “triple step, triple step, trip, step, ouch, somebody call an ambulance”.