Ok, I brought my Mom to the board last week. She’s registered and has been posting for about 5 days now.
Tonight I mention TechChick’s wondrous Cecil bash in Vegas and she comes back with this:
Ok, so can someone let My mom in on the Straight Dope? She’s embarassing me 
-Sam
P.S.- You’re welcome Newbie! 
GaWd,
I think you should get her a book, although I don’t have any of his books I read through the archives a lot…that might be a good starting point.
Oy Vey! I’m embarrassing HIM??? Is it fair to quote a mama when she ain’t lookin’?
So, Sammy wanted me to introduce myself around these here parts, so here I am wavin’ at y’all! Hi!
I’m still getting lost in all these threads, but I think I finally figgered out the quote thing! YaaaaY Me!
Hi MaWm,
< hehe >
nice to meet you, I am techchick. One your son should stay away from. I am evil and wicked, er sweet and kind?
In any case welcome to the boards!
Welcome, MaWm! Don’t mind yer kid, there. Y’see, Cecil Adams and the Straight Dope are basically twisted but always honest sources for answers; no bullshit, usually funny but always reliable.
The folks who gather around this place are another matter. As a greater mind put it, “we put the ‘fun’ in ‘dysfunctional’”. Hey, truth ain’t pretty.
You are obviously a superlative mom, so you don’t want to clap your son upside the head. Don’t worry; we’ll do that for you! ::smack!!::
Now sit up straight! And don’t chew with your mouth open. Seekers are always welcome. Think we’re snobs?! ::smack::
HA! Fuggedaboudit. Read the columns and the archives. It’ll all make sense–sort of–pretty soon.
Veb
Welcome, Dz! And don’t pay attention to techchick when she disses herself. She’s a nice girl with a good job. Comes from a good family; has real nice teeth. What more can a boy want?
Welcome, Dzdmona! Any friend of Sam’s is a fr…oops! I mean, any friend of GaWd’s is a friend of mine! (You know kids, they always want you to use their little nicknames when you talk about them around their friends!)
Have fun!
Welcome aboard Dzd. If you share your son’s sense of humour then…
oooh
shudders
Dzdmona will always be known as MaWm in my eyes 
Sorry MaWm, but you are GaWd’s mom, you must love all that power!
< giggle >
Hey, Dezi!
Easy on the smilies, you’ll grow hair on your palms!
I hear techchick is fuzzy below, so God knows what she does with 'em. She’s also evil incarnate, having stolen the title from evilbeth.
She also has an extra place to crash out in in Vegas, so don’t let Snoop GaWdy GaWd outta the house Labor Day weekend.
Welcome aboard!
I’m fuzzy below? Where in praytel is that?
Oh and my extra space in Vegas is reserved for the one that holds my heart secretly…so there < sticking out tongue at ChiefScott > hehe
I love that! And yes it’s tough bein’ GaWd’s mama, but what better role for a nice Jewish girl?
Well, thank you all for the warm welcome! Am I to be the chaparone around here?
TechChick, all kidding aside, it’s very hard being GaWd’s MaWm. You have no idea! He keeps me running hard all day long, bringing him wine, peeling his grapes, tying his shoes…oy! I could go on forever!
But power? Nooooooooooooooo! Not one bit! He keeps all the glory to himself! And for this, I went thru all the trouble of an immaculate birth! And does he appreciate??? No! Just takes the chance to quote MaWm without her knowledge!
But now that that’s all said…he’d be a great catch! And I’m sure he’ll father darling babies! (He’s gonna kill me)
Give it to him Guys!
<snicker>
GaWd’s MaWm
::sadistic chuckle::
Gotta love it. A high-minded, low-cunning Mom on the board, reading the nonsense and shootin’ the breeze better’n any 3-speed reversible fan on the market.
Damn Skippy; experience, endurance and untold wealth of knowledge, all offered up in finest style.
::gloating:: young whippersnapper knows the technology but thinks he knows the world better?! Pshaw.
We’re talking grandbabies here…applicants to the left.
Veb
Nice, single, Jewish girl checking in!
Hi MaWm! Nice to meet you. You’ve got a very sweet son there, which speaks very well for you and how you raised him. (How’s that for kissing up?) He doesn’t seem to know I exist, though, so maybe you could put in a good word for me?
Pay no mind to the nekkid twister party Wally’s throwing me for my 1000th post. I’m really a timid, virginal creature. (But feel free to join us - we’re having a blast! :eek: )
Welcome to The Straight Dope, GaWd’s MaWm (and maybe some day, mine. ;))!
[QUOTE]
**
Gotta love it. A high-minded, low-cunning Mom on the board, reading the nonsense and shootin’ the breeze better’n any 3-speed reversible fan on the market.
**
I’m not sure what high-minded, low-cunning is, but I can blow hot air as well as any fan out there!
**
Damn Skippy; experience, endurance and untold wealth of knowledge, all offered up in finest style.**
Us old broads have to have some savings grace!!
We’re talking grandbabies here…applicants to the left.
**
Darned straight, girls! This is serious sh*t!
[QUOTE]
**
Nice, single, Jewish girl checking in!
**
Oy! A Shayna madel no less! I’m sooo happy!
Hi MaWm! Nice to meet you. You’ve got a very sweet son there, which speaks very well for you and how you raised him. (How’s that for kissing up?)
You are doing JUST fine! And it’s nice to meet you, too!
He doesn’t seem to know I exist, though, so maybe you could put in a good word for me? Consider it done!
Pay no mind to the nekkid twister party Wally’s throwing me for my 1000th post.
I’m so sorry I’ve lost my flexibility! Oh, the stories I could tell! Nekkid Twister is GOOD! I better be careful or GaWd will smite me!
I’m really a timid, virginal creature.
OY! Drop the timid and keep the virginal!
Oh, my girls! Where did ya’ll go?
Have mercy on this MaWm! He’s 23 and unattached…a stellar man!
Help me out here!
You underestimate the caliber of ladies here, MaWm.
Please remit for their perusal: