It’s been a long time coming, I even posted about it nearly 3 years ago IIRC. My parents have had problems for a while. They tried to work it out and apparently, they can’t. Saturday my mom drove to Houston, where she has friends. We don’t think she’ll be coming back.
Since I was laid off from AT&T last year and went a while unemployed, I ate through my savings account and had to move back in with my parents. I since got a job working nights, so I didn’t really see them much. I didn’t know the relationship problems had again reached the proportions of summer 2000.
So my mom wakes me up Saturday morning and tells me she’s driving to Houston. She cries and hugs me. I was groggy and still pretty much asleep and didn’t quite understand why she was upset until I woke up that afternoon and spoke with my father. I knew she was going, but I was under the imression it was more a vacation sort of thing to see her old friends.
So she’s gone. Most likely for good this time. My dad is looking for a 2nd job, because he can’t stand to be home alone in the afternoons when he gets home from work. It was sad really, my father, who I always thought of as so strong and big, suddenly seeming so small and lost.
Of course, I’m not blaming my mother for this, my dad had a hand in the failed relationship (more than just a hand really) and I think that’s what tearing him up. He knows a lot of this is his fault.
Anyway, it just dawned on me that I’ll be turning 30 in a few weeks, and for the first time I’ll have a birthday without my mom around. No homemade cake. No mom to tell me to hold my present up so she can get a good picture of it. For the first time, I’m going to have a birthday without my entire family around me.
I really don’t know what else to say about this except it’s affecting me a lot worse than I thought it would.
Crunchy, I know that must really hurt. You will see many milestones in your life and this is one of them. But it is not as if you won’t share other birthdays with her. Those good times will come again.
May I suggest a couple of things. You are going to need to make your own birthdays – especially “round” ones – special. Do something that you’ve never done before or go somewhere you’ve never been before. Indulge yourself a little. On the morning that I turned thirty, I sat on the beach and watched the sun rise and danced in the sand. (That was about the time you were born – July of 1973.)
You might also decide on a major goal for your thirties – places to travel, for example.
Crunchy (Did I ever mention how much I love your username? Always makes me think “If we took the bones out, it wouldn’t be crunchy, would it?” :)) I can’t even imagine what it must feel like to go through what you’re going through. But I do know that the fact that you’re an adult still doesn’t make it an easy situation to deal with. I pray that the Lord will give you the strength you need to deal with all of this. Lots of hugs and warm thoughts for you.
I was worried about my own parents for a while, specifically after I left home… I was surprised about how much I hurt at the the mere thought of them breaking up.
Thanks to everyone for your thoughts. I really didn’t think this would hit me as hard, especially being almost 30 and expecting it for a while now.
And Zoe - “You might also decide on a major goal for your thirties – places to travel, for example.”
I’ve been kicking around ideas for a book for a while now. Kept meaning to write it, but just never found the time to do so. Maybe I’ll finally buckle down and get that underway.
