It really annoys me when people say “Mom is coming over for dinner tomorrow night” instead of “My mom is coming over for dinner tomorrow night.” This is as mundane and pointless as it gets, but this is one of my pet peeves. It seems nearly everyone says this. It drives me nuts!
What kind of stiff and stilted world do you live in? Don’t come to the South, because here we go a step further and say “Momma” or “Daddy” is coming over for dinner tomorrow night.
I think it depends on how familiar you are with the person. And how familiar that person is with your mom.
The qualifier “my” is only necessary if it’s ambiguous as to whose mom or dad is coming over. If you are talking to your sibling, using “my” would be unnecessary. If you are talking to your spouse and his parents were deceased, then I would also think that using “my” would be unneccesary.
WOW—this is a serious issue!!!
So let the Great Debate begin, and may Og show his grace on the loser’s soul.
Everybody has a name…
If you call Jane, you say, “hey , Jane–do you want to come for dinner?”
If you call Bob, you say, “hey, Bob–do you want to come for dinner?”
Then an hour later , when you tell me about it, I’ll bet that you don’t say “my Bob and my Jane are coming for dinner”
So now the question for Mr pet-peeved OP is :
When you call a woman who is your father’s wife, your nephew’s aunt and your great-grandfather’s granddaughter, do you say:
“hey, Mom, do you want to come for dinner?”
or do you say “hey ,MY Mom ,do you want to come for dinner?”
I live in the South actually. I don’t live in a formal, stilted world at all. I just hate when friends say that. I don’t know why. I need the qualifier!! Pet peeves aren’t always rational.
I had sex with YOUR mom last night.
Better?
I would never say either. I say “My mother” or “My father” is coming over for dinner.
I don’t see why. They’re using “Mom” or “Dad” as a nickname, and the context makes it clear.
Even if both spouse’s parents are still living, I think the “my” is needless for conversations between just the two of them; context makes it clear. Now, if they’re talking to the kids “my” may be useful, and in my experience is often used.
My best friend from high school calls my father Daddy at times, even with me, and her meaning is always clear from the context.
I hadn’t really thought about my usage on this - when with non-family, even with my boyfriend of six years, I’d say “My mom is coming over”. With close-ish family where there’s no doubt about who I’m talking about, I say “Mom is coming over”. I wouldn’t say “Mama is coming over”, although I might say “My mama is coming over” (no idea why that distinction) but most often you’d hear that word when I’m either exasperated on the phone with her or yelling for her in a house, as in “Mama, I don’t KNOW where you left it.”
Now that we have the kids around, I keep tripping up, because it seems weird to tell them “Mom is coming over for dinner” so I find myself saying “Your grandma is coming over” instead of “Grandma” because, obviously, it isn’t my grandma. And sometimes I end up saying “Your grandma, my mom…” which is dumb.
I agree,mildly.
This sentence positively demands the qualifier…
As a medical student, I’ve noticed something similar. When discussing a pediatric patient, doctors and nurses will say things like “Did someone discuss this with mom/dad?” which sounds kind of annoying to me.
Even worse is when I take one of my kids to the pediatrician who addresses me as “dad”.
In family court, I hear attorneys refer to their clients as “mom” or “dad.” As in, “Mom will get the kids on mothers day, dad will get them on fathers day,” or “Mom needs to pay child care expenses, so dad should kick in an extra $100 per month.”
Always sounds strange to me.
My mother’s nickname is “Mom.” The only time I put a qualifier on a name is when there is a chance for confusion.
I am completely with you on this one. Unless I’m talking with siblings or either parent, I’ll always add the ‘my’.
Maybe it’s because I think of ‘father’ and ‘mother’ as titles, not nicknames. My dad is ‘Al Tone, my dad’, not ‘Al “Dad” Tone’. So, similarly, I wouldn’t say of my dentist : ‘Dentist will be filling in my cavity tomorrow’.
But you also wouldn’t say, “Hello, dentist.” (At least I wouldn’t.) I say, “Hello, Mom.” It’s the name by which I address her.
Yes, but say you are talking to you friend. Would you say “Mom and I went to the mall today.” Or would you say “My mom and I went to the mall today.”
Either one, though if I’m talking about her, I think I’m more likely to say “my mother” than “my mom.” But “Mom and I xxx” and “My mother and I xxx” sound equally natural. “My mom and I xxx” sounds slightly odd to me.
Mom, mother, whatever nickname you use isn’t the point. My pet peeve is not using the qualifier “my” when talking to other people about your maternal or paternal unit.