Yes, I know that’s your pet peeve. I don’t share it. I talk about Mom by her name.
Agh! You did it right there! 
If I were telling my friend, I’d say “My mom and I”. If I were telling my dad, I’d say “Mom and I.”
I understand completely. If you say to me “Mom is coming over for dinner tomorrow night,” I get a mental picture of my mother, because that’s who “Mom” means to me. So even if I know what you mean, it weirds me out a little.
Thank you! It almost seems sort of self centered. Like their mom is THE mom or something.
I agree with the OP. Some posters who disagree have argued that “Mom” is a nickname, and one poster said that saying “my Mom” would be like saying “my Jane.”
I don’t think that analogy works. My mother’s name was Margaret and her nickname was Jimmie. “Mom” was what I and my siblings called her, but it was neither her name nor her nickname. So the comparison to “my Jane” just does not work.
Fwiw, when speaking with my siblings, I would say “Mom” – in that circumstance, saying “my Mom” would be weird. But when speaking with anyone else, I would say “my mother” (not “my Mom”).
I have this reaction about ‘baby’ too. “The baby”, or “my baby” are fine; but I hate sentences like “Make sure you give Baby plenty of hugs so he doesn’t grow up to be a wolf boy”. (“Nobody puts Baby in the corner” is a different story of course.)
Saying it about your own mother is fine. But it is annoying when other people do it.
Mom is definitely my mother’s name. It’s a nickname given to her by some people that have a certain relationship to her, and, if you don’t, you don’t have the right to use that name. Not even if you say “your Mom”.
It is not a title–I can’t say Mom Debbie. I can say Momma Debbie or Mommy Debbie, if Debbie is someone who has acted like a mother to me but is not actually my mom. Or I can say Mother Debbie if I’m referring to a female superior in certain contexts, or as sarcasm if Debbie is acting overly concerned about me. But Mom cannot be used as an honorific.
When someone says Mom is coming to dinner it is because the word *Mom *in the sentence is being substituted for her name, it is the word by which she is referred.
When they call on the phone, they don’t say: “Hi my mom”. They say “Hi Mom.” They also don’t say: Hi Joan (or whatever her real name is.) They are using Mom as a title, appellation, name, etc.
Mom, can you help me? Is just like: Joan, can you help me?
Mom, thanks for dinner. Is just like: Joan, can you help me?
This is common usage. So to say: Mom is coming to dinner, in usage it is just like Joan is coming to dinner.
Likewise, you would not say: My Fred is coming to dinner. Why? Because you are using the word, title, appellation, that you use when referring to Fred.
The reason for the modifier is the commonality of the name. My mom is used when there is a possibility of confusion to define which Mom you are referring to.
In my circle of friends we have two sets of shared names so modifiers are used for them as well. The first set occurred when we were all young and single and so they became modified by physical characteristics. Big Sam is 6’4" and Little Sam is 5’6"
The newest set is referred to as a possessive of their wives. Joan’s Sam or Maggie’s Sam. Additional amusement due to the fact that Joan’s MIL is a second Maggie. (names changed but no initials!)
So there are some small set of circumstances where I would agree with the OP that modifiers are needed but only if context isn’t clear.
Wait, I can’t say “Is your mom coming to dinner?”
My parents went through a bitter and hateful divorce.
My pet peeve, when talking about each other to me, it was always “Your Father” and “Your Mother”. Very petty on my part, but it was just reinforcement that they hated each other.
I would have preferred “Your Dad” or “Your Mom”. Or even their first names.
I guess I just didn’t like the formality of “Your Father” and “Your Mother”.
Agreed, there are times when it helps, like when the context isn’t clear. But even upon rereading the original post, I don’t see this being the complaint. The post just seems to think it is odd to say Mom is coming to dinner.
I see nothing wrong with saying Mom is coming to dinner tonight. After all whose mother would it be? There is really no need to say MY.
Not odd because tons of people do it. I find it very annoying! The only time it’s not irksome to me is if I’m talking to a sibling.
Yes! I get this when I call my doctor, the receptionist doesn’t specify, she just answers the phone “doctor’s office.” Like Dr. Murphy is the only doctor on the planet with an office. As it happens, there’s another doctor’s office right across the street and their phone numbers differ by one digit. So if someone dials 2284 when they mean to dial 2287, they end up calling Dr. Jones, whose waiting room window looks right into Dr. Murphy’s administrative office. And Dr. Jones’s receptionist also answers the phone “doctor’s office.” It’s ridiculous!
No, but you clarify, “my friend/boss/co-worker/bandmate/old school chum/new lover/submissive boy/towel fluffer Fred is coming to dinner” unless the person in question knows who Fred is just by name. Similarly, if I said to a stranger “mom is coming to dinner” they may understand that to mean my mother, but if I said that to a friend, they may not know if I mean their mother, my mother or my partner’s mother who I also call mom.
It’s just a question of using the clearest possible language. Some people are in favor of that, even if it means sticking another (otherwise presumed, two letter, one syllable signifier) word into a sentence.
The difference is that you and I both have a mom and a dad, but we don’t both have a Jane and a Bob, so the “my” is unneccesary there.
On the other hand, I have a brother named Vincent and a boss named Vincent. When speaking to coworkers who share my boss, I do not say “Vince bought the funniest thing for my birthday” because they might think I meant our boss, which would be weird. So I say “my brother, Vince, brought me the funniest thing for my birthday,” making sure that the first instance of who I mean is clear before simply refering to him by name throughout the rest of the conversation. Likewise, when talking to my parents about Vincent-my-boss I specify that so they don’t imagine that their son has done something stupid to piss me off.
YUP. That’s the perfect example of why the “my” is handy and it’s absence is annoying.
I also get annoyed if someone leaves out the “my” when that person and I don’t share the same mom or dad.
“Mom and Dad are coming …” is something only my brother should say to me.
Anyone else talking to me should say “My mom and dad are coming …”
Yeah that happens all the time with my son - doctors and nurses call me “Dad.”
Reminds me of a funny story that happened when I was helping at Sunday School - a very polite little girl who didn’t know my name called me “Mister Robby’s Dad”