Oh, but you can. At least a little. In my first week after giving birth, I literally didn’t sleep for more than two hours hour at a time. Our hungry little monkey was nursing about every half hour, on average, and pooping about every hour. And even when he was sleeping, I couldn’t just drift off. I’d wake up with every tiny noise he made - and let me tell you, he made a lot. It was like the soundtrack to Jurassic park. So the only time I really slept was when my husband was home and would take over for me. He couldn’t do feedings*, obviously, but he would bring the baby to me, and I’d nurse lying down. My husband would keep an eye on us in case one or both of us fell asleep.
So do that.
Also - and I really cannot tell you how much I appreciated this - my husband prepared all my meals for me for the first couple of weeks, and usually brought them to me. (This also helped me get in as much sleep as possible.) He always made sure it was something I could eat one-handed, while I held the baby in the other hand. Before he left for work in the morning, he’d leave my breakfast next to the bed. Lunch would be waiting in the fridge. Then, when he got home from work, he’d bring me my dinner in bed, and I’d catch a few winks before the night shift. He also refilled my water bottles, and made sure I had water and snacks within reach of the bed, the couch, and everywhere I’d sit and nurse. It was so nice, and so very necessary. I swear I would have starved if it hadn’t been for him.
On top of all that, he did the dishes and the laundry and cleaned the cat box and so on. Basically, he took care of me, so I could focus on taking care of the baby. And it was really, really, lovely.
Yes, yes, yes! But - also make it something she can use now. She might love doing spa days, but in the first week, she’s probably not going to want to spend that much time away from the baby, even if she can - I certainly couldn’t have. Having a masseuse come to your house, on the other hand? Fantastic.
So yes, just do/give something you know she’d like, and take good care of her.
Oh! And whenever you remember, tell her what a great job she’s doing with the baby. Be specific as possible. For example: our baby didn’t spit up at all, until one night when he suddenly went Exorcist on us. He was tired and hungry and crying, and we weren’t sure if we should feed him any more, so I just held him and tried to soothe him while my husband called the doctor, and he fell asleep. My husband told me I was such a good mom, and he was so impressed that I could calm the baby so easily. It meant the world to me.
ETA - Thumbs up on the iPad, too. I always tried to situate myself near the laptop when nursing, but it would have been great to be able to actually carry it around with us.
- And actually, he could have done feedings. It’s strongly recommended that if you’re trying to breast-feed, you don’t give bottles for the first six(?) weeks, because as bump says, the baby has to learn to do it. But, I was sleeping so little (and nursing so much) that the lactation consultant we’d be fine doing a bottle or two a night. Ultimately, I just stuck it out until six weeks, but you guys don’t necessarily have to.
