Or they may have very well been lying to you. I had the nurses terrorizing me with the outright statements to my face that I’d be risking causing my child irreversable brain damage if I didn’t consent for them to give him a bottle of formula and give it to him right then. I ultimately consented (after I’d confronted the lying nurse and then they had a shift change) because if I hadn’t, they would have sent him home and kept me there for blood pressure issues (which were entirely caused by the medical community’s ham-handed mis-handling of me from the moment my original OB quit practicing in the middle of my pregnancy).
I hated my lactation consultant, and she hated me. She spent a lot of time at the breastfeeding support groups talking about the dangers of formula and letting her longtime mommy toadies spew out bullshit propoganda lies about the evils of formula. She called me a liar when I related my mother’s breastfeeding experience to her, and then started lecturing me on why breastfeeding probably wasn’t working for me when I finally did have the kid, until I just opened up and stuck him on. She checked his latch, sat down, and shut up. Eventually consented to show me how to finger feed him a bit so he could more patiently and less ravenously get the hang of breastfeeding.
That said, I think the reason more women don’t consider to breastfeed is the over-sexualization of mammary glands and just the squickyness in general when it comes to bodily functions. And, perhaps it’s just not done in their familial and peer circles. And there is no room or time or luxury for it. I know I’m fantastically lucky in that my company gave me the space and time to pump, my spouse was able to drive me in and out of work every day so I could get more pumping and sleeping in on the ride. It’s not easy, breastfeeding or pumping, or making sixthy zmilzon bottles of formula.
And all of that makes it a hot topic. People see it as something you Have to do. People see it as something you Should do. People see it as something that Doesn’t matter - but your attacking their choice on it is very personal.
For us, even with all of the gunk that went with it, breastfeeding worked. But formula isn’t rat poison, and has kept many a family happy and sane in an insane time.
Quote the whole thing if you are going to bash me. How exactly does “The majority turned out fine whichever way they went” turn into zealotry?
The only thought I can have is that you read far more into the comparison than meant based on your own preconceived notions. Someone downthread of this comment implied comparisons were being made between not breastfeeding and something tantamount to child abuse. Was that your thought as well? Corporal punishment in today’s society amounts to spanking. Spanking your child is not child abuse. It is a choice that many well meaning people make. Are you now judging them? Don’t get all zealotty on me.
BoringDad, what I took away from your post was “Well sure, you could bottle-feed, or you could beat them, and they’ll probably turn out fine. Still makes you a bad parent, though.”
Re-reading your post, I do think that my preparation to be offended colored my reaction. I’m sorry I misinterpreted you.
While only you can nurse, anyone can give them a bottle. If you would like to occasionally leave the house, without the baby, for long stretches of time, perhaps, for instance, to work, then nursing can be inconvenient. Some people can’t be home all the time, and pumping is time consuming.
And I’ve never heard any grown person refer to breastfeeding as “icky”. That’s come up a few times in here, as a motive attributed to women who don’t nurse, and it’s ridiculous. Where is that coming from?
So one of my girlfriends was really really big on breastfeeding. Her first was still on the breast at three or four, and didn’t had solid food until eighteen months. And every meal was straight from mom - no pumping. Her second wasn’t quite so extreme - she was working with her second, so she pumped, but he was still well over two when he weaned off the breast.
Her third was also well over two when he weaned. But at ten months or something, my girlfriend went into the hospital with an infection, and had IV antibotics and was told not to breastfeed because her medication could be harmful when passed on through breastmilk. So, for the first time in three kids, she spent three weeks as a formula mom. And her take was:
“Why didn’t anyone tell me this was so easy! I can hand him a bottle while he is in the chair and still manage to fix lunch for my two other children! I’m not sitting down doing nothing but nursing him for three hours a day!”
She did go back to nursing, but she did learn something about her belief that breast was always easiest. Breast is easy - no bottles (but thy get thrown in the dishwasher), no need to mix formula. But bottle has some advantages as well - particularly if you have another small child in the house - and mixing formula and throwing bottles into a dishwasher isn’t exactly difficult or time consuming. And from then on, she wasn’t adverse to having a can of formula in the house for those times where he needed to eat and she had her hands full with her other two.
(She, however, is the ultimate in milk production - none of this impacted her ability to nurse one bit. I was the “skip a meal, dry up” sort of girl.)
I’ve not heard breast feeding refered to by the exact word “icky”, but I’ve heard it poo-poo’ed by many women in real life. I’ve heard the cow analogy - “Cows make milk, and I don’t intend to become a cow.” - many, many times.
As to where it’s coming from, possibly the women’s own mother and others of that generation.
According to my mother (but I’ve read other things written from that time that back her up), in the 50’s and 60’s it was generally believed that breastfeeding would ruin a person’s breasts and make them floppy, loose, large nippled, and generally offensive to members of the opposite sex. My mother was told that if she breast fed her children, she’d eventually need to go to a plastic surgeon to repare the damage.
As to were that belief comes from - my guess would be National Geographic pictorials.
I will stipulate that breast feeding is better than formula and if a mother can do so then so much the better. However, you need to read the numbers more closely as well.
NEC is most prevalent in preterm babies and/or babies that weigh less than 1500g (although it does occur in full term babies [10% of all NEC cases] they have a lower mortality rate [20% vs. 50%]…still serious but lower). NEC afflicts roughly 0.135% of all live births (figures vary a bit so I am shooting for roughly the middle). It also seems it is a little understood affliction of which formula is just one possible factor. Indeed, preterm babies are under the care of a hospital. One would assume that they’d know the link of formula to NEC and would avoid it if at all possible yet apparently they use it anyway.
Are preterm babies even able to be breastfed by their mothers? (I really do not know)
My point of all of the above is you need to take the numbers and put them into perspective. Seven times the likelihood seems shocking till you realize the likelihood is not that great to begin with especially with a full term baby and the window for this to occur seems to be the first few weeks of life. Add to that that the use of formula, while maybe a contributing factor, seems to be by no means the only factor.
But why roll the dice with your child? Reducing the chances of something awful happening to them via something within your control is fine but as someone else said it is not something to lose sleep over if it cannot be managed.
Note I do not think the WHO and others have fudged their findings when they do studies on this and I’d wager they did scholarly jobs on those studies. That does not mean that others cannot quote them out of context.
Breast feeding is better than formula. I think we all admit to that. I just do not think it is a huge factor in the development of your child one way or the other in most cases (at least in a modern country…I suspect the issues in a third world country magnify the issues much more than they do here).
Breastfeeding is hard, thirsty work. As soon as my daughter latched on, I felt thirsty, like I had been running in the summer heat. I trained my husband as soon as I sat down to nurse, bring me a glass of cold water and keep it coming as long as I am nursing.
If you are not there for every feeding, or even if you do and your baby sleeps through the night, you may have to pump just to keep up your milk supply. For me this meant that until my daughter was 7 months old, I got up in the middle of the night to pump. I also pumped every afternoon and came home at lunch to nurse. Pumping itself is not rewarding. It is just a means to an end and can be inconvenient and uncomfortable.
Breastfeeding means that you must be available frequently to breastfeed. You are in no way interchangeable with someone else. Sometimes I felt all touched out, and I am a touchy feeling type of person. I like cuddling my daughter, but when she was going through a growth spurt, or was anxious for some reason, the degree I had to be available to her was overwhelming.
a. Breastfeeding increases your appetite and lengthens the time that some changes that began in pregnancy linger. I felt like I was always hungry. I did not gain weight, but when I weaned, I had to be very careful not to overeat because my appetite bounced all over the place.
b. You will need to maintain a diet much like your pregnancy diet and avoid drugs and other substances that may be passed to your infant and have negative effects. No drinking and you have to keep taking your vitamins.
Morally, ethically, and philosophically, we tend to see human beings as ends not means. When you breastfeed, you become the means of someone’s survival, and may not seem as much of an end in yourself. In short, breastfeeding a baby may make you feel more like a piece of livestock, rather than a human being.
So there are five reasons why even those who want to and are capable of breastfeeding might decide to opt out. Breastfeeding means that you are choosing to do something that will mean some personal sacrifices. The responsibilities of being a custodial parent of a newborn are magnified when you are the one providing the food. Coupled with the physical demands, this can be more than enough to make it all seem not worth it. In order to keep going with breastfeeding, you really have to believe in the benefits. Moms who breastfeed may be giving up a lot and anything that questions the value of breastfeeding may seem to call into question their own judgment and even their own worth. On top of feeling like a cow, you may feel like a redundant, stupid cow. When part of the cost of breastfeeding for a lot of moms is not getting a full night sleep for 6 months or so even when the baby is sleeping fine at night, this means that many of those with a dog in the fight won’t be at their most rational.
Although breast feeding was not a breeze for me, I also did not have any real problem. My breasts are huge, but my nipples were just small enough that my newborn could latch on. I can well see why some women would give up. I can also see how it may be easy for those that did not give up might choose to look down on those who give up or do not try. I think it is a big mistake to pass that kind of judgment. Even if you know every objective fact in a given case, you will never know what it feels like to be them. It may be that not breastfeeding gave them the personal resources to be a better mom in other ways. You don’t and can’t know, and most of all it is none of your business.
I don’t watch that show she’s on, The View, but I read that Starr Jones Whatever her last name is said that once when the other lady on the show was pregnant and they were discussing nursing.
I can’t find a link now, but I do see that she said nursing in public is disgusting and Barbara Walters just says it makes her very uncomfortable.
I was asked constantly (and often skeevily) if I was going to breastfeed, it squicked me out, they are my boobs for bejeebus sake! back off!
I made no plans either way. I figured I would try breastfeeding, if it didn’t work, I’d switch to formula. I didn’t own a bottle when my baby was born.
GET A PUMP! GET A GOOD PUMP! Worst case scenario, it allows others to feed the baby too.
I breastfed for 3 months. I don’t think I’m a superwoman. I had to stop because my job is really not condusive to breastfeeding. My baby was born 4lbs 12 oz and 4 weeks premature. She latched on like a pro, made the lactation consultant look like a punk, and ate with a vengence that hasn’t slowed down yet. She has steadily gained weight, she is now on track with everything size-wise, except her big ol’ head. I saw no difference in her weight gain on formula vs. breast milk.
I really thought I would be weirded out by breastfeeding. We are conditioned for our breasts to be sexual objects. It wasn’t weird, painful or difficult, but I was open to whatever happened and I think that helps more than anything.
My mother swears her milk stopped because some relative came to the hospital and “was mean to her.” I found out my husband had been a drug addict my whole pregnancy, we were in serious debt and had to detox him at home. I was still producing more than 40oz. a day.
In labor, no one will give you an award for not taking any drugs. You will just hurt more. Breastfeeding is a tad more obvious, I never needed to feed in public because I would pump enough to last while we were out. I did have a woman come up to me and start lecturing me on why I should breastfeed my baby when I was in a shop and had given her a bottle. I looked at her like she was on crack and pointed out that it was breastmilk she was eating and none of her damn business either way.
I wish I had been able to breastfeed longer because she was so small, but she is as healthy as a horse, and extremely happy baby, and seriously seems to be thriving in spite of the fact I haven’t the slightest clue what I am doing.
Allow yourself to be open to whatever works best for your family. It’s good practice for what’s to come. Trust Me!
You are fixing to have your entire world change in ways you can’t even begin to imagine. Becoming a Mother has been so visceral it shocks me. Enjoy your belly, the day will come when you miss it. May you and your child be healthy, happy and safe. You are so lucky, having your first child is absolutely breathtakingly amazing. FYI, you can do something besides stare at them the first two weeks. It may not seem like it, but you can.
My first experience with formula was “what a pain in the ass.” I feel like I spent half my life cleaning bottles. An eternity waiting for the water to get the right temp, mixing it all up. Meanwhile, babybeast is crying her eyes out. I switched to playtex bottles with the liners which made it a bit easier, but still, bottle feeding is a PITA.
Having watched a baby feed both ways, breastfeeding did seem more like a whole body experience. I was rather alarmed the first time I fed her with a bottle and she just kind of laid there. Breastfeeding is harder for the kid to do, it takes work. By comparison, it practically pours out of a bottle. That being said, she recognizes the sound of the bottle being shaken and recognizes the bottle. I knew I didn’t want to breastfeed until my kid could say “hey mom, I’m hungry, fork over the boob.”
Please, please, please, do what is right for you. No one else has to live your life.
As for bottle vs. breast, I don’t have personal experience, at least not from the feeder perspective. My mother breastfed me for a month, but found it to be a huge pain in the ass, she felt too constricted and tied down. So on the bottle I went. When Baby Sis was born, she was on the bottle from day one, and because she was extremely lactose intolerant, had to have a special, prescription-only formula. HA!
Now, I will say, Baby Sis DOES have allergies, and she gets sick more frequently than I. BUT…
-Obesity: she’s tall and reed thin, whereas I am short and while I’m not by any means fat, I’m definitely a curvacious gal. The typical “hourglass”-boobs, small waist, hips.
-Intelligence/brain development: I was breast-fed, and yet, I’M the one who ended up with a learning disability (ADHD) and an anxiety disorder (obsessive-compulsive disorder). As a result of the ADHD, I struggled some in school, particulary in math and science (I excelled in English, history, and art). My sister was an A student and it seems to come more easily to her.
Quite frankly, I’d trade the panic attacks and depression for more colds and hay fever any day.
Preterm infants and breastmilk is a whole other story. Every reason to breastfeed is magnified a dozen times for a preemie.
Yes, many preterm babies, like babybeast, can nurse right away. The rest can recieve pumped breastmilk through feeding tubes. Any reputable neonatal intesive care ward is highly pro-breastmilk, precisely because of the special preemie benefits, including NEC. NEC is the boogeyman of the NICU. Perfectly healthy preemies suddenly get a spot on their x-ray and they die within days.
Our NICU had free hospital grade pumps for moms to use while we were visiting our babies. We were praised and lauded for even the teeniest bit of colustrum. One nurse said to me, “I can put in the feeding tube, but only you can give her the best medicine there is,” as she held up the bottle of a measely 3 cc’s of breastmilk that had taken me 30 minutes to pump. Breastmilk was frequently referred to as “liquid gold” (a bit of a joke due to it’s golden color, but also a comment on it’s value.)
If a preemie’s mom chooses not to pump or breastfeed, our hospital encourages using donated milk out of a milk bank, for at least the first few weeks. It’s not as good as mom’s milk, because it’s been sterilized and stored, but it’s better than formula for the wee ones. In our hospital lactation class, one woman had legendary un-emptiable breasts. Milk just kept coming and coming, far more than her baby could eat. Once she had banked an extra 3 gallons at home for her baby, she donated more than a gallon a week to the milk bank, beyond her baby’s immediate needs.
They used to think this, and preemies used to be encouraged to bottle feed pumped milk or formula so they don’t “tire out”. I even had a couple of older nurses tell me that in our hospital. But they were wrong. The latest data (available in The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers) shows that, even for preemies, breastfeeding is easier and uses less calories. They also have less of a tendancy to choke and sputter at the breast vs. the bottle - the breast, one you’re past let-down, will stop squirting milk when you stop sucking on it. A bottle won’t. So milk will keep flowing when the baby tries to “rest”, and the baby can choke on that milk. (As was WhyBaby’s favorite hobby. That and not breathing. :rolleyes: )
On extended nursing, I started weaning my daughter at 2years 6 months. Not long after she could eat other food, I stopped nursing when we were out. I tend to go braless or topless around the house, so she learned to take me wearing a bra as a sign the bar is closed. She could ask to nurse since before she was 1 though, so I never looked at that as a sign that she was ready to stop nursing. For the most part she weaned herself, being too busy to nurse, but i did start saying no when it was inconvenient for me, or when she seemed to be using nursing to control mommy. Long after she stopped nursing, every so often she would occasionally see my breast and decide to try to latch on. I had to resort to time outs at one point to get the message through, but it did and that stage was gone long before her third birthday.
I’m curious; you mean your daughter never ate ANYTHING before that age?
Madeline started eating food at five months. At seven months she eats cereal, vegetables, cookies, finger foods, you name it. I cannot imagine going any longer than that because she was reaching for food every time she saw it. How do you keep them away from real food that long? Or was she eating before then, but also breastfeeding?
What a great conversation. So many good points have been made, I’m probably redundant, but I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, so allow me to share.
It appears that some babies who would live if breastfed have died on formula. It’s a teeny tiny percentage, but it’s there. And many more children would have had better health if breastfed, but have asthma, allergies, and other problems due to being fed formula instead.
I think **Ellen Cherry ** had an excellent point about our perception of the issue. Despite all the pressure to breastfeed, somehow formula remains the implicit standard. Look at all the information about the benefits of breastfeeding. The vast majority refers to “extra protection” or breastfeeding conferring “more benefits.” But if you truly take breastfeeding as the standard, it makes more sense to talk about the “drawbacks” or “risks” of formula, or the “reduced resistance,” and so on. However, a government plan to promote breastfeeding was yanked and re-written when it addressed things in this manner. I suppose the formula companies thought it made their product look too bad.
And that brings me to my answer to the OP’s question. I think it’s so hot because we have a deep conflict between our recent discoveries about the inferiority of formula, and a very stubborn cultural bias toward formula. People who advocate breastfeeding feel that they have to struggle every inch of the way against a society that views breasts as sexy at best, dirty at worst, reviles nudity, values convenience and technology, routinely associates babies with bottles in entertainment, toys, and so on, and is awash in cutting-edge manipulation techniques by formula companies to sell their products. When that is your perspective, it’s easy to feel you have to be forceful, and you can overshoot and become shrill and rude. On the other side are mothers who intellectually know they “should” breastfeed, but who are left without all the social support and help that is required to do so.
Perhaps the thing that drives me most crazy is the women who truly do want to breastfeed, and are willing to do what it takes, but due to misinformation, come to the conclusion that they cannot, and switch to formula. That’s another reason why advocates can get a little “in your face” about whether you’ve pursued all the solutions. Hell, some hospitals still supplement babies routinely, and you have to struggle to prevent it. In that environment, it’s no wonder so many women “can’t” breastfeed.
All that said, I’m so glad we have formula, and that it is constantly improved. It is literally a lifesaver for many babies. I also think that women are in the best position to determine whether they can or can’t breastfeed, and for how long. And “can’t” isn’t limited to physical problems in my mind. If you have psychological issues from depression to a history of sexual abuse, that is just as valid as having no milk. If you have to go to work, and it is not practical, that is more than justification for using formula. There are tons of reasons why someone might not be able to breastfeed or have to stop, and I try not to be judgmental about it.
However, there is a certain type of woman I’ve run across on message boards (I don’t think I’ve had similar conversations in real life), who in general seem to want to have a baby as some sort of accessory or pet, and don’t want parenthood to impinge on their own lifestyle at all. They wonder why anyone would breastfeed when it means waking up in the middle of the night, instead of having someone else do it. They want to retain perfect control, regularity, and leisure, despite having a child. I don’t get this at all - if you are not willing to make huge sacrifices, you shouldn’t have kids.
Then there are people who revel in ignorance, and are downright insulting, saying breastfeeding is “gross,” and resolutely ignoring all the information about how much better it is for babies (and moms!).
Those people drive me nuts. However, despite what I say in my head about them, I try to restrain myself to education efforts, making sure they have the facts, and leave it at that. I would never presume to actually tell someone how they should feed their child - that’s rude.
Okay, I just re-read the thread and thought of a bunch more stuff.
First, I want to emphasize that the LLL philosophy has great respect for individual choice. Every darn meeting starts with the statement that attendees should take what works for them, and leave the rest. Child-led weaning tends to be popular among LLL folk, and LLLI says “Ideally, the breastfeeding relationship will continue until the baby outgrows the need,” but mostly LLL encourages mothers to take their child’s needs and feelings into account in the weaning process. IME, LLL strongly advocates that mothers are entitled to control their own bodies, and that means the child doesn’t get carte blanche.
I also want to share that I was having terrible time breastfeeding in the first few weeks, and I was dreading the reaction of my midwives (at the free-standing birth center where I had an unmedicated birth - very crunchy) to the idea of switching to formula. The one I spoke with was very non-judgmental and kind, and said, “You’ve given her so much with what you’ve done already,” and basically gave me “permission” to stop. I can’t tell you how much that helped. So not all medical professionals are obnoxious about it, thankfully.
As for anecdotes, and the idea of “when I was a kid, we did X, and we’re all fine,” I offer the issue of seatbelts and carseats. Sure, for a long time we didn’t use either, and we survived as a society. I’ve never been in a serious accident, so both my daughter and I would be alive and healthy if we’d never worn seatbelts at all. That doesn’t mean it’s OK not to use them. They definitely decrease your risk, regardless of whether your neighbor’s cousin never used them and lived to be 108.
**Gorgonzola’s ** link reminded me of a really illuminating JC Penney catalog photo. It was of a nursing nightgown, and showed the model wearing it and holding a baby - and feeding it with a bottle. Sure, the model probably couldn’t have really breastfed the baby, but it just makes zero sense to show her using a bottle! That is seriously messed up, and (I think) indicative of the fear we still have of acknowledging breastfeeding, as though it’s either disgusting or pornographic.
**Long Time First Time ** reminded me that another reason medical professionals are often very unhelpful with breastfeeding is that it involves treating at least two people as an interactive pair (and partners IMHO are key to breastfeeding, so they are involved too). They are very used to treating one person in isolation, and aren’t equipped to deal with a nursing family unit.
You know, that really reminds me of the stories about what would happen to a woman’s genitals if she didn’t have FGM. I wonder if there’s a similar memetic mechanism at work there? (Please note, I am in no way, shape or form comparing formula feeding with FGM!)
lee, I think your comments are really cogent, and I agree with just about everything you said. However, this statement is a bit misleading, and indicative of the kind of subtle messages that can undermine breastfeeding by making it seem too restrictive.
Actually, even mothers who are malnourished can produce nutritious milk for their babies. Of course, it’s best to have a well-balanced diet while nursing, but it isn’t a strict thing.
You can also take most medications while nursing. The big ones to avoid are lithium, cancer drugs, and radioactive treatments. Usually the risk to the baby of any drugs secreted in milk is less than the risk of using formula or leaving the mother untreated.
Finally, you can drink while nursing. You probably shouldn’t get plastered and nurse within the subsequent few hours, especially a tiny baby, but generally you can drink in moderation, and if you’re concerned, you can time things so your body has cleared most of the alcohol by the time you nurse.
In general, I’m wary of breastfeeding “support” that can wind up discouraging breastfeeding. Things like, “Your nipples/breasts/baby are too big/small, so to breastfeed you’ll have to do X, Y, and Z.” Or “you can’t eat [enormous list of common foods], or it gives the baby gas.” Or “you’re doing it wrong - here’s how it should be,” when the baby is healthy and gaining weight and the mother has no pain. Again, as Ellen Cherry said, we would be better off assuming nursing will go/is going OK, and only address problems as they actually occur.
'Kay, I don’t have time to read this whole thread, so please excuse me if this has already been mentioned…
A lot of mothers who breastfeed do so despite considerable pain and inconvenience. They don’t enjoy it. It hurts (a little, or a lot; briefly, or often). It feels weird. It hijacks their bodies. Given their druthers they’re really much rather not bfeed. But they do it anyway, just b/c they believe it’s in their child’s best interests.
I think women who’ve made that sacrifice are riled (a little, or a lot) by women who do not.
Also - re bottle feeding — there are a lot of ways of approaching this. I chose to feed my kids on demand, as little or as much as they wanted. I never expected them to finish a bottle just b/c I’d prepared X ounces. We cuddled during their feedings, I didn’t use “bottle holders” (although once they were old enough to hold it on their own, I was like “here, kid, have at”). Those choices made me feel better about using formula; I felt like I could mimic the bfeeding act even though I was using bottles.
And no, I don’t imagine it’ll make a huge difference down the road. There are so many factors, so many elements in mothering - feeding is just one decision among many.
There are also a very small number of first world children who may have lived had they been formula fed, but who die breastfeeding. There are, however, a huge number of children where breastfeeding was not possible - including my son - who would have probably died had cows milk been their only alternative to breastmilk. And a huge number of children who have died from being bottlefed, not from the formula, but because of the inavailability of clean water in much of the world. Of course, the evil formula companies who sent substandard formula to the third world are yet to be forgiven either.
I know this is not the main point of the thread but I just wanted to maybe calm you a little on the tearing. I was terrified of tearing or having an episiotomy too, that was my biggest fear about labor. I told myself I would rather not have an epidural so I could feel when to push and not tear, etc.
Of course what ended up happening was a big ol’ episiotomy and lots of stitches. I still don’t know how many, just that as the Dr. was sewing me up (and it took a while) I asked her how many stitches I needed and she quickly deflected me with a cheery “just as many as you need.” And guess what - it was almost a nonevent in the birth process. Nothing to lose sleep over. I didn’t even know when the tear happened or when the Dr. cut me except that she told me after it happened, and after the stitches a little soreness was all I had left. Tylenol was all I needed.
I know it sounds horrible and women love to tell horror stories about tearing. I just remember how scared I was about that and I hope I can reassure you a little.
Oh, and breastfeed if you want, but happy mom and baby are what’s important. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone else. Also keep in mind that whatever your plans are, baby may have other ones so it’s best to just go with what works. My neice refused the breast after a few weeks, my baby refused the bottle forever. So maybe baby will make the choice for you. Either way, people like to judge about all things baby so don’t take other people’s criticisms too hard.
Trust Me!