Ok so it’s not what you think. I had Mongolian BBQ for lunch the other day, within minutes after consuming it I had the overwhelming urge to evacuate my bowels. Of course I could not have this release in a restaurant bathroom as I require, at the minimum the comfort of my workplace facilities to do my deed.
I staggered from the car to my office prairie dogging it the whole way with an incredible burning sensation afflicting my anus due to the hot sauce I had with my meal.
Once I draped the commode with TP and dropped trough carefully lowering myself onto the TP covered throne I was about to destroy, I discovered to my horror a wet spot in my underwear. Of course my first instinct was to smell it…which I did and to my surprise it smelled exactly like semen. Now I do not recall anybody ejaculating in my rectum in the last 30+ years so all I can assume is I was anally raped by a ghost the night before or that the force of holding the explosive diarrhea in supplied sufficient pressure to my prostate as to milk it?
I don’t have any comment on the rest of that adorable little anecdote, but I’d like to focus on this bizarre practice. What exactly are you afraid is going to happen if your shit-filled buttocks come into direct contact with the toilet seat?
One of the little-known perks of being an ex-mod is that they give you an orange “UNREAD” button. It sits right next to the red triangle “Report” button, and it works like
[TMI]I’ve experienced diarrhoea before that included clear mucus with a sort of semeniferous/sweaty smell to it.[/TMI]
I think it’s most likely you had something similar - a mucus type secretion from somewhere in the lower part of your digestive system. If your prostate was ‘milked’, the milk doesn’t come out of your butt.
Strange unexpected stuff can come out of there. I remember one time, a long time ago, I had an odd incident. I think I was sick, I do not recall if I was on any meditation. I pooped, and when I wiped, the substance on the TP was the consistency of fried beef blood (like when you are frying a steak) and completely grey. I do not recall the smell, if any.
Spoilered for grossness.
One time I wiped and came up with what appeared to be [spoiler]the remnants of bloody diarrhea. That, and the pinkish water in the bowl, gave me concern.
Then I remembered that I had some red velvet cake ice cream recently and figured the red food coloring did that.[/spoiler]
