Monkey Butlers is gone?!!! Say it isn't so!

What happened to it?

It’ll be back. Temporarily removed.

Glad to hear it will be back.


What on Earth is it?

An ancient thread started long ago by a poster who’s no longer here. He was incredibly shitfaced and posted this rambling post about how he wanted a little monkey in a little suit and top hat to be his butler. It was always a Doper favorite, and an old in joke.

Are you talking about Homer, the shoehorn butterhorse guy?

Man, that monkey idea sounds awesome. I want whatever he was smokin’.

Yep, that’d be the one. I don’t remember the “shoehorn butterhorse” one, though. He had a lot of greatest hits.

Come back to us, Tim!

That was the one where he posted that he was about to eat a bag of shrooms, and then he did and posted the whole way through.

“Shoehorn butterhorse” was part of the ‘shroomin’ thread (as was noted). That had a lot of good things in it. Madonna, hamburger, shoehorns…

As has happened before, we’re up against the limits of what the board can hold and a bunch of older posts were physically removed so you can continue to post.

We’ll get everything back when we can but for right now this is what happens from time to time.

Oh, yeah, that was a great thread. I just couldn’t remember all the weird stuff from it.

What’s the big deal about a monkey butler? I spend a good portion of my week following along and collecting dog-nougat in old shopping bags. On Earth, even canines have human butlers.

I believe that Bart Simpson mentioned having a “monkey butler” once. That probably spawned it.

That’s the beauty of it! It isn’t anything!

I loved that post. My favorite part was when he exclaimed, “Aaaaah! It tastes like burnt ass!” Or something like that. Naturally, everyone wondered how he knew the flavor of burnt ass.

One wise poster replied (paraphrasing), “On the contrary, now I know what burnt ass tastes like.”

I use that all the time.

yeah, the shroomin’ thread is gotta be in my top 5 all time.

Anyone remember the line that went something like “I no longer breathe, I subcontracted my lungs to a guy in Philli” or something vaguely like that.

Best part of the thread was, after the first few sober posts where Homer, after eating 3 shrooms and waiting for them to kick, asks for posters’ opinions on whether he should finish the bag. Everyone chimes in, “sure go ahead, you’ll have a great time, etc”. Homer comes in with his first classic long stream of consciousness psychedic rambling post. Next post: “I guess he shoulda stopped at three”.


But yeah, bring back monkey butlers!!!

I just ate three mushrooms

Ah, so James Frey was on mushrooms, its all clear now.

Surely you mean Dwight Frye, best known as Renfield in Tod Browning’s 1931 production of Dracula.

“A-hunh-hunh-hunh…the blood is the shoehorn butterhorse…a-hunh-hunh-hunh…”