I call it being a girl.
As in “Not tonight honey, I have to be a girl this week.”
That is the first time I heard it called the monthly bill. Gee, can I have it forwarded to a different address for the rest of my life?
I seem to rememberm Aunt Flo being a character in a kids cartoon I used to watch in the mid-late 70s here in the UK. Anyone else remember Bod?
Yay! Bod! 
i shared a house with two girls when i was at uni - (apparently i still hold the dubious honour of being the only guy they’d ever trust to buy tampons). They actually used to have a monthly challenge to see who could find/come up with the most interesting period euphemism each month.
I can’t remember more than a few anymore:
Riding the Rapids
Swimming in the Red Sea
Womb-Bombing
Up on blocks (my all time favourite)
Going Commie
Playing for Arsenal (UK specific)
Voting Labour (UK Specific)
At Stop (A reference to traffic lights)
No Entry Zone (“Go out on the pull? I can’t - i’m a no entry zone this week”)
thats all i can remember off the top of my head.
I once worked with a nice 40ish lady – I had been hired to replace her during her maternity leave. One day she mentioned Dr. W, the “lady doctor.” I teased her: “Now, J, do you mean that Dr. W is a female physician, or do you mean that Dr. W is a gynecologist?” She blushed and said, “Oh, that second one.”
My favs that I heard in my thread on this I did a long time ago were;
riding the cotton pony
and
jumping off the roof
Most of George Carlin’s have already been mentioned, but not this one:
having the painters in
Would that be blood money?
How do you know she hasn’t? My best friend has had major menstrual problems since she hit puberty (she is now nearly 22), and has had all kinds of medical interventions (including surgery) to no avail.
“The Red Fairy has come to visit” is what my sister and I say.
[continuing hijack]
I had horrible dysmenorrhea (menstrual cramps, etc.) starting in college. It got to the point where I’d have nearly debilitating cramps for a day, and “merely” painful cramps for 3 more days. I’d compare the pain to someone tying your guts into tight, tight knots, over and over again. I was taking doses of OTC remedies far over the recommended dosage limit, and that would usually but not always let me get to all of my classes (still in serious pain) on the worst day. My doctor was trying me on all different oral contraceptives, hoping to find a type and dosage that would help, and finally ordered a laparoscopy to be sure I didn’t have fibroids or endometriosis. Eventually we hit upon the right oral contraceptive, plus my doctor started prescribing a relatively new medication, double-strength naproxen sodium tablets. I took two at a time, and they produced a slight feeling of being disconnected from the world (I described it as looking at everything through a plate glass window), but the pain was gone.
[/continuing hijack]
That being said, I wouldn’t use that as an excuse from class, and certainly not phrased like that. I’d probably just say I wasn’t well.
Typically I say dysmenorrhea, but when using euphemisms it’s either “that time of the month” or when joking about it with a male friend, “female troubles”.
Well, I assumed that if she had done so, she would have submitted some sort of medical documentation to the prof. But it sounds like the class doesn’t have a particularly strict attendance policy, so I can see why she might not have bothered.
I’ve been plagued with female pain for about 4 years. At times it has been bad enough to call in to work. However, I recently had surgery to remove endometriosis and a few other minor things. So, for the first time in 6 months I can make it through the day without any painkillers. Yay. Your student may have the same type of trouble, but strange to call it the monthly bill.
Since we’re all about fighting ignorance…we need a Canonical List of Menstruation Euphamisms.
Ahh here we go.
What’s yer fave?
Hunt for Red October, The
Little ketchup with my steak, A
Mudslide in Crotch Canyon
Playing banjo in Sgt. Zygote’s Ragtime Band
Taking Carrie to the prom
My dad used to say “Flying ‘Baker’”. (Or “Flying ‘Bravo’”.) The bravo flag is all red.
Erm… not that dad ever “flew Bravo” in the context of this thread! 
You know, sometimes it’s nice to be a female. We have a built-in excuse.
I had a male employee who just couldn’t get to work on time. He was on his final written notice for tardiness. He showed up 15 minutes late, and said that he ripped the crotch of his pants getting into his truck and had to go inside to change.
Apparently his phone didn’t work (if he had called to say he would be late, I might not have fired him), and it takes 15 minutes to change his pants.
And really, if you’re on a final written notice, don’t you leave at least 15 minutes earlier than necessary just in case something happens? How important is your job, anyway?
(sorry for the mini rant/hijack)
:rolleyes:
I like to refer to it as “the curse that has been passed down to women throughout the ages”.
I am a huge Arsenal fan and I fell over laughing when I read that. (Arsenal’s home jerseys are red, for the rest of you)
I usually go with “I’m hemorrhaging” or “I think I need a blood transfusion.” However, with your blessing, beagledave, this month I shall use “a mudslide in Crotch Canyon.”
What about names for those feminine products? My grandmother, aunt, and mother call tampons and pads “lertu.”
I once heard "muddy field, could’nt play. " if that counts.