(17) The Fish-Slapping Dance
I am totally baffled by this.
As the link reveals, the Fish-Slapping Dance is a contest between two men in safari outfits. They are played by Cleese (the man on the left) and Palin (the other one). They are facing each other at a distance of about 3 paces. Palin is in possession of two pilchards while Cleese has assumed the classic ‘at ease’ stance in readiness for receipt of a slap.
When the music starts, Palin dances up to Cleese, strikes him on the right cheek with the left pilchard and returns to his starting position. He repeats the manoeuvre but this time he slaps Cleese on the right cheek with the right pilchard. Following two more offensive plays, during which he slaps Cleese in the face (executing the technically difficult ‘Double Pilchard Slap’ in the process) Palin returns to his position and assumes the ‘at ease’ stance.
Cleese takes one step forward and knocks Palin into the canal with a large halibut.
If this is comedy it’s a tragedy. Everything about the sketch is wrong, and the only humour I can see is in the poignant irony of a lifebelt hanging unused on the front of a building when Palin has fallen in the water. If this post was in another forum I’d say more. Anyway, could someone please explain the following:
(a) I understand the pilchards. We use them at home in competition, unless there’s money riding on it in which case I normally rent a small barracuda from the local aquarium. But what’s with the halibut? I’ve never seen one used in a singles match before and I’d be seriously surprised if anyone else has either.
(ii) Why does Palin use the sequence left pilchard, right pilchard, both pilchards, both pilchards when his only viable option* was the more orthodox right pilchard, left pilchard, both pilchards, both pilchards? Arguably this tactical error cost him the game.
(3) Why is the Fish-Slapping Dance taking place at Teddington Lock when there’s a perfectly good Fish-Slapping Dance & Massage Parlour** in Teddington itself?
Many thanks.
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*Source: Fish-Slapping for Beginners Vol.3 pp. 147-233 (Piranha Bros., 2004. All rights reserved. Not available for sale in the US).
** Private rooms with en suite pool. For full dance & massage call Lola on 0800-555555. Coach parties welcome. Bring your own fish.