Actually I’m a gynecologist, but this is my lunch hour.
*Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore.
He steals from the poor, and gives to the rich, stupid bitch!*
You’re using coconuts!
I might be arguing in my spare time.
theme script by
Timmy Williams
entirely written by
Timmy Williams
additional material by:
Peter wray
len ashley
geoffrey ingersoll
george herbert
harry lowall
ralph emerson
hatty starr
frank picksley
john stamford
shelley bunheur
malcolm kerr
james beach
alan bailey
brian feldman
stirling hartley
adrian beamish
guy waring
mark tomkins
sidney smith
richard hovey
edmund gosse
jonathan ashmore
bill wright
arthur fuller
richard savage
michael whitemore
budge ryan
cedric hazlett
terry jones
michael palin
john gaynor
george coleman
samuel spurgeon
thomas massinger
stephen davis
walter chapman
reginald marwood
david goschen
peter schulman
dennis frankel
david robinson
paul raymond
john willder
johnny lynn
joe shaw
simon smith
monty python
michael lapin
sydney lotterby
ian matherson
humphrey barclay
burt ancaster
kirk ouglas
ken smith
geoffrey hughes
brian fitzjones
michael gowers
john pennycate
peter baker
neil shand
Just put your lips together and whistle…
Tonight on The Money Programme, we’re going to look at money. Lots of it. On film, and in the studio. Some of it in nice piles, others in lovely clanky bits of loose change, some of it neatly counted into fat little hundreds, delicate fivers stuffed into bulging wallets, nice crisp clean cheques, pert pieces of copper coinage thrust deep into trouser pockets, romantic foreign money rolling against the thigh with rough familiarity, beautiful wayward curlicued banknotes, filigree copperplating cheek by jowl with tumbling hexagonal milled edges, rubbing gently against the terse leather of beautifully balanced bank books…
Good evening. Here is the news for Parrots. No parrots were involved in an accident on the M1 today when a lorry carrying high-octane fuel was in collison with a bollard. That’s a bollard and not a parrot. A spokesman for parrots said he was glad no parrots were involved. The Minister of Technology today met the three Russian leaders to discuss a £4 million airliner deal… None of them went in the cage, or swung on the little wooden trapeze or ate any of the nice millet seed yum, yum. That’s the end of the news, now our program for parrots continues with part three of ‘A Tale of Two Cities’, specially adapted for parrots by Joey Boy.
Can I put the tube in the baby’s head?
That has spam in it.
Burma!
We want Shurb-burry.
Hey! I’ve got a great idea. Why doesn’t Lancelot go?
Hello, children, hello. This
is Uncle Dennis welcoming
you to your own sudset.
Hello. Today we are going
to have a story, so sit
comfortably and we can
all start.
continued on card 44
43© 1995 Python (Monty) Pictures, Ltd. Produced under license by Cornerstone Communications, Inc.
Mr. Neutron! The most dangerous and terrifying man in the world! The man with the strength of an army! The wisdom of all the scholars in history! The man who had the power to destroy the world. Mr. Neutron. No one knows what strange and distant planet he came from, or where he was going to! Wherever he went, terror and destruction were sure to follow.
Good evening! For the first time, on record, a 29 part
adoptation of King Solomon’s Mines – Wines, sorry,
wines – King Solomon’s Wines.
A lot of people in this country pooh-pooh Australian
table wines. This is a pity, as many fine Australian
wines appeal not only to the Australian palette, but
also to the cognoscenti of Great Britain.
“Black Stump Bordeaux” is rightly praised as a
peppermint flavoured Burgundy, whilst a good “Sydney
Syrup” can rank with any of the world’s best sugary
wines.
“Chateau Bleu”, too, has won many prizes; not least for
its taste, and its lingering afterburn.
Another man who had his head nailed to the floor was Stig O’ Tracy.
I will not buy this record; it is scratched.
Brought to you by ANO-WEET©.
They mean to win Wimbledon!