Quite right - you don’t want to come back from Sorrento to a dead cat. It’d be so anticlimactic. Yes, kill it now, that’s what I say. We’re going to have to have our budgie put down.
You see, if you’re five miles out over the English Channel, with nothing but sea underneath you, er, there is a very great impetus to stay in the air.
Your life or your lupins, my lord.
Oh, oh. I see. I thought, I thought you were the, er… I like the police a lot, I’ve got a lot of time for them.
All right, all right! It’s bloody albatross flavor! It’s bleedin’ seabird, bleedin’ flavor! Albatross!
It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of all Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!
Apropos of this: Just had a call from a customer-service person at our local bank, asking if my wife and I would like to come in “for a half-hour or so” to discuss recent changes in the kinds of accounts they’re offering.
I promptly but politely declined.
And now for something completely different.
Hello, good evening and welcome to the Ronald Reagan Memorial Bowl, here in the pretty little L.A. suburb of Hollywood. Well, we’re about to go in all for wrestling, brought to you tonight, ladies and gentlemen, by the makers of Scum, the world’s first ever combined hair oil, foot ointment, and salad dressing. And the makers of Titan, the novelty nuclear missile! You never know when it’ll go off! Surprise your friends, amuse your enemies, start the party with a bang!
*Interviewer: *And who is the sponsor?
Mr. Vercotti: The Chippenham Brick Company. Ah, they, er, pay all the bills, er, in return for which Ron will be carrying half a hundredweight of their bricks.
Uh, well sir, I have got a silly walk and I’d like to obtain government backing to help me develope it.
We’ve done that!
Well, er, it looks as if Ron is ready now. He’s got the bricks. He’s had his passport checked and he’s all set to go. And he’s off on the first ever cross-Channel jump. (Ron runs down the beach and jumps; he lands about four feet into the water).
This new housing development in Bristol is one of the most interesting in the country. It’s using a variety of new techniques: shock-proof curtain-walling, a central high voltage, self-generated electricity source, and extruded acrylic fiberglass fitments. It’s also the first major housing project in Britain to be built entirely by characters from nineteenth-century English literature.
Well, there he goes, Ron Obvious of Neepsend, in an attempt which could make him the first man ever to eat an entire Anglican cathedral.
Did you say “ex-leper”?
Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
My brain hurts!
David, this is something which Ron and myself are really keen on. Ron is going to tunnel from Godalming, here, to Java, here (indicates inaccurately on map).
The tenants arrive at the entrance here and are carried on a conveyor belt down the corridor in extreme comfort past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes to the rotating knives. The last 50 feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed.